Understanding why my partner is pushing me away

[Princess_Polly]

I am in a fairly new relationship after having recently separated but we have known each other for 5 years. My partner has been separated for several years. We both have school age children and both busy professionals. We became very close very quickly and while I was away for a few weeks at the beginning of the relationship we remained in constant and intimate contact. Within just a couple of weeks of my return everything changed and I could feel him starting to pull away and not have time to catch up. Initially I put this down to busy lives with kids and work, however as days and weeks went on I realised there was something much more to it than that. I told him I was very confused and didn't understand what had happened and asked if he could explain. He replied by saying he didnt know what it was but that he puts his head in the sand and pretends everything is ok when he knows it's not. That he had issues with anxiety and got stressed over stupid things and try's to hide it from everyone. He told me he was going to the psych to start getting help. He told me it was no excuse for how he's treated me and he felt ashamed that he has hurt me and run away and that he runs away from a lot of things and that he thinks it means he needs to be on his own for a lot longer than he thought. He said he wanted to catch up to talk about it in person but it's been over a week now and he's already postponed once. We have agreed to meet in a coupe of days. I guess the question I am asking is should I just walk away and let him be and have his space ( easier said than done)..... Or do I ask him to let me in and help him through this? I am angry with him but I know I shouldn't be and I want to know how best to handle the situation when I do see him in a couple of days. 

[pipsy]

Hi Princess Polly.  Oh dear, just when you thought everything was going well, it goes 'pear shaped'.  Your partner was separated several years before you two reconnected.  You said you've know him 5 years.  In between him separating, then getting together with you, he's re-established his own life, doing what he wants, when he wants.  It's possible when he started the relationship with you, he may have thought it was what he wanted.  Then you went away for a time and he's had a chance to 'stand back' and see whether or not he does want to commit.   It sounds as though he may have had a change of heart, wants a casual relationship, but still wants his own space.  I would say he initially agreed to meet and discuss, then decided against it until he's clear about what he wants to say.  I would agree to leave him alone, let him figure out what he does want.  When you do meet, try not to corner him into anything.  I realize it's hard on you, but it will be harder, if you try and get him to commit if he isn't ready or doesn't want to.  I don't think he wants to hurt you, if he did, he would've just completely ignored you.  Be guided by leaving him be.  Try not to be angry with him, he sounds very confused.  Does he have children, there could be complications in his life you're not aware of.