Supporting husband and don't know what to do

[Bigshoulders]

Hi everyone...where do I start.. I'm new to this, I'm 25, have 3 children-younger two are with my husband and my eldest is from a previous relationship, he is 8 and has Asperger's syndrome, sensory processing disorder and anxiety issues. My husband is from New Zealand and has not become a citizen yet but has been here for 13 years, owns a house and has always worked up until just the last few months when he had a break down and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Things took a turn for the worst when our 8 year old was getting bullied by a 16 year old on the school bus and we had to have a meeting at the boys high school, when we got out of the high school and into the car my husband had what the doctors called a severe panic attack. He started shaking and breathing funny and then he collapsed and stopped breathing. I raced him to the hospital. My 3 year old was in the car at the time and got obviously very distraught. My hisband is home now but Continues to have twitches and panic attacks and is always sleeping. My concern is that I only get what I can as a mother from Centrelink but I can't make ends meet so I'm trying to find a job while still caring for him and my children but I'm so worried because I can't afford Childcare so my youngest will have to stay with my husband if I work but he can barely walk in a straight line, stay awake for very long, he doesn't even have control over the jerks his body makes, he isn't fit to watch a child and I have no friends or family at all. Has anyone been in this situation before? Or know of somewhere I can turn to for help? Please

[blondguy]

Good Morning Big Shoulders

My you have a lot on your plate right now. A very tough situation....

* Do you have a GP that you are comfortable with? If so...see her/him..They can be a huge help here

* Has your husband been for counseling? (even a GP is better than nothing right now)

* Is your husband on any meds? they are great to help build the foundations for recovery

* Centrelink does have Social Workers..Calling one will answer your questions re the financials

* I have had anxiety for years...I have had shaky hands and hyperventilation episodes...but collapse is rare

* You mentioned that his body 'twitches'...Has he been back to see anyone after the hospital?

* Make sure he remembers to breathe...in through the nose...deep..then exhale through the mouth

If you get stuck Big...with your husbands symptoms which sound quite severe (providing current diagnosis is correct) please call out 24/7 number for help..they are gentle and caring 1300 22 4636

If you can let me know how you are going...

Note...tomorrow...call centrelink for a social worker...Husband...GP soon if he hasnt been since hospital

We are here for you Big....and YES anxiety symptoms do decrease in intensity over time

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Bigshoulders]

Thanks heaps Paul, he is on meds, but I think the time period for them to start working hasn't passed yet, he hasn't been back to the hospital yet, he is flat out staying awake for an hour a day, I'll call Centrelink tomorrow hopefully thy can help. I suppose I just feel alone and have no one to talk to and I don't know where to turn

[Msnoodle]

Oh my what a tough situation.  Paul has given you some great advice. I don't know your circumstances but did you meet anyone at mothers group or know any mothers of your other children's friends who might be able to help you out with childcare? If you have to work, you might be able to find something that you can do online from home?

[Bigshoulders]

Thanks for your help, we have just moved town and my kids struggle to make friends at the best of times

[blondguy]

Hey Shoulders

Kids (yes even my daughter) do have a difficult time making friends Big but you are only human and can only do one thing at a time...(with respect for your children of course)

Thankyou for your reply big...It takes a lot of courage...You are not alone and we are here if you wish to post even more about your situation. There are many kind and caring people on here that can help you

You mentioned your husband has difficulty staying awake for more than an hour a day.....and well done calling Centrelink soon. Your local council/shire probably has a social worker/psychiatric nurse that may come and visit and help you.....

We are here for you Shoulders....and thankyou again for your response

Kind Thoughts

Paul