Supporting my husband - diagnosed with atypical bipolar at 35

[Jed19]

My husband has recently been admitted to hospital after a rapid decline in his mental health. He has been on anti-depressants since the age of 17, which were prescribed by a GP. He only saw a psychiatrist for the first time at the age of 32 and was diagnosed with uni-polar depression and started on a new medication in addition to an existing one.

After moving to a new town, and misplacing his medication, he stopped taking them for a period of about 2 weeks. Once recommenced, he was having active suicide thoughts and had quite a detailed plan. Once assessed by the local CAT team, he was admitted to hospital so he can be monitored while getting his medication right.

His treating doctors are now thinking he has an atypical presentation of bipolar, and he has been started on new medication, while being weaned off the original medication.

I am starting to really struggle myself, and feel so helpless in his recovery. I am very emotional sometimes when visiting, which usually makes me quite panicked as I don't want to make him more anxious than he already is. I'm also so angry at the system for letting him down for so many years. The follow up from his previous private psychiatrists has been non-existent, even though they have all had my details as an emergency contact. His correct therapeutic dose was never reached, and his bloods were not monitored like they should have been.

We are living with my sister and brother in law at the moment, until we can both find full time work. They are very supportive and have not given us a time limit at all, but I am so worried that when he gets home, it will be so hard for us to find a healthy new routine to follow as we are both lacking quite a bit of direction at the moment.

I don't really know what support is available to myself, or to us both as a couple. I think we would both really benefit from having some kind of ongoing support that we can both attend together. I would love any suggestions or advice from anyone who has going though anything similar.

Thanks. 🙂

[Jacko777]

Hi Jed19, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums.

You have certainly been through some tough times there, I can't say I have been through anything exactly like that but no doubt there will be options for you both. The feelings you are having are completely understandable and you deserve some more support. I wonder if it is worth giving the Beyond Blue Support Service a free call on 1300 22 4636, they would certainly have suggestions for what options you have and what steps you can take. There are some tips for self care under the 'Personal Best' tab on the home page, you can also word search from the home page that will bring up articles and forum posts.

Personally, I would be looking for another opinion, maybe a referral from a GP to a psychologist or a counsellor. No doubt it would be a struggle and you're human, it must be an emotional roller coaster. Pay attention to your breathing if you are feeling panicked, focus on slowing it down, 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, not too deep, ten times or longer till you feel calmer. I'd be angry at the system too, but of course that doesn't serve you, keep your attention in the present moment, what small steps can you take to improve the situation, now.

Much love to you both, talk any time. You might feel helpless but I bet you are being exceptionally helpful, look after your self.

Jack

[Jed19]

Hi Jack,

Thank you so much for your reply and your very kind words. Some very useful recommendations you have made, and I really appreciate it. I have had really amazing support from the hospital's carer and family support team - they have put me in touch with some counsellors, have given some great tips for self care and even given me a few massage vouchers! I've decided to chat with the carer counsellors first as I think I'd benefit talking to people who have dealt with other in my same position.

My husband is home now (after a 3 week hospital stay) and he is doing much better than anyone expected. I can't even imagine how hard it must be dealing with a new diagnosis at the age of 35, but he's felt a lot of relief being able to finally recognize and understand his symptoms. He's has some anxiety, but is much better at identifying and verbalizing his feelings now. I can't even tell you how proud I am of him!

I've found this site really helpful too. Kind people, like yourself, offering advise and support. It really makes a big difference and takes away the thought of feeling alone.

Thanks again Jack.

Jess 🙂