Son with BDD

[MrMcGoo]

My son was diagnosed with BDD about 7 years ago aged 26. He is now 32. He believes he has been suffering with the disorder since adolescence. He is on various medications and completed CBT therapy a few years back. He has been unemployed for about 10 years though he ran.

My son now 32 was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder 8 years ago when he was 26. He says he has suffered with the disorder since adolescence. He has been prescribed various medications. He also takes medication for excessive sweating. He has been mostly unemployed since dropping out of uni 10 years ago but did try to start up a home based cake decorating business but folded it 10 months ago. He is extremely gifted intellectually and artistically. He moved back to the family home 8 years ago. He spends his entire life in his bedroom, sleeping all day and on line all night. He is even more reclusive since stopping his baking business, that gave him a reason to get up and focus on something productive. He has recently been approved for the Disability Pension. To me this akin to a life sentence of dependence and helplessness. I am still raising a 13 year old son, my husband left work due to bullying and still suffers PTS so I am the financial backbone for my family. I feel like there is no hope of recovery for my son, and wish I had sought help for him when he was a teenager. I am heart broken at witnessing each day his beautiful soul and talents trapped within his dysfunctional mind and trapped within the 4 walls of his room. He rarely sees the sun. I do not know what to do or say to him. I throw a lot of my energy into my 13 year old, my work and my hobbies to distract me from the constant pain I feel as a mother with no answers.

[Croix]

Dear MrMcGoo~

Welcome here to the Forum, I am glad you came here as you sound very much at the end of your tether. Before talking about anything else I'd like to know what support is there for you?

At present you have one son who has a long term illness, a 13 years old son and a husband who has left a hostile workplace and is suffering the effects both of that and also probably the loss of self-esteem in not being the worker that he was.

All this and working to be the financial support for all.

This places an enormous strain on you. So are there people in your life to talk with and who care and want to help? It can make a huge difference. When I was very ill my wife had her mum to lean on, and that got her though.

A disability pension can sometimes be a foundation instead of a life sentence. In some ways it frees one up to try other things. You son did conduct a cake-decorating business for a while, showing initiative and a willingness to try - maybe he even got satisfaction. That door is not closed.

Do you think there is anyone-one who can encourage him to take small steps towards any activity that gives him a reason to come out of his room? I do know that once course of therapy, or medication, may not be effective the first time. There is some hope there too

While he may have first experienced this illness in his teens it would have been just about impossible for an ordinary parent to realise what it was. You love you son and that is enough.

As your husband has had a traumatic time I'd like to ask if he has sought medical support for this? It is often not enough to rely upon the firm involved to supply it as there may be a conflict of interest.

Does he have his own independent doctor? If he has been diagnosed with PTSD it does take skill and experience to be effective in treating it. I've recovered a great deal from this condition though competent medical attention.

It is not always easy to realise that things can get better, and while I've never found instant fixes my own life has been a source of constant improvement for a starting point where I was told I'd not work again.

I do hope you come back and say more

Croix

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi MrMcGoo,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are going though a really tough time between both your older son and your husband ....as well as raising a 13 year old and being the primary earner. Wow. This is a lot on your plate. It is a great first step coming here to the Beyond Blue forum and your voice will be heard here in this supportive community. It takes a lot strength and courage to reach out and I commend you for being so strong for your whole family.

In reading your brief post, I wonder if you in the past have seen a counsellor for just you, to talk about what you are feeling? Sometimes writing things out can be really helpful and I encourage you to continue to do this on the forum if you feel comfortable. Other times, especially when you are caring for others, it can become heavy both emotionally and physically and having a regular outlet for yourself is a really important avenue. You might find this here on the forum, or perhaps its with a regular counselling session or even another way like exercise or socialising. Whatever it is, I wonder if you have something that is just for you?

I hope to hear more of your story if you are comfortable to share it.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn