struggling with special needs children

[Matchy69]

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

[Jstar49]

Hi Mark,

absolutely one day at a time. It’s too overwhelming other wise hey!

sounds tricky with your son. Is he ok about wearing a pull up to school or does he hate it?
in so many things I’ve seen, many Drs say stuff, like “oh that will never get better” or “Your child will die by age 20” or whatever, and then it doesn’t happen. So much is up to the individual.
it must be hard when you are so tired and unwell yourself. But just allow yourself to hope, and pray to whatever god you believe in, that things will change. You could ask for a small specific thing, and hold it in your thoughts, lit with love. Wait and hope for that to change. Then remember to say thanks! The act of gratitude generated more good stuff. There’s so much about this in so many different faiths and belief systems.
Maybe if you’re not up to doing much for yourself, you could make yourself a cup of tea (for eg) and think loving thoughts. Like, take the time to really enjoy that cup of tea. Smell it, taste it, sit somewhere nice, enjoy your surroundings and be grateful for life.
(I’m totally not having a go- I know it can be really hard to be grateful for life sometimes when everything seems to be against us. It’s just that being grateful changes the way our brain functions. It’s a good habit, esp I think for those of us inclined to be melancholic)

thanks Mark, for all you do here on the forums.
hugs

J*

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark, thinking of you. I wish I could offer more support.

[Matchy69]

Hi Jstar and Tayla,My son is really use to wearing pull ps and it dosnt seem to worry him yet but maby in the future if he still having trouble using the toilet when he gets older.The doctors do say stuff that is so wrong they have said to me that I am as good as I will be with my depression and won't improve.Thst was almost 30 years ago a doctor said that to me.You can always prove doctors wrong and many have.My mums doctor gave her 6 months but she lasted over 3 years.

Swimming carnival tomorrow for my daughter and she will be staying home as it is way to noisy in the enclosed area they have for the pool.

I am trying to get a site ready for a shed I am putting up.Hopefully I can have it up by the end of the month.I want to use it as a workshop to restore motorbikes in.

Tale care,

Mark.

[Jstar49]

Hey Mark,

snap! Swim carnival for us too. At least I don’t have to go this year- parents not allowed. What a relief! All those competitive parents (we are not particularly athletic so completing a lap without stopping was T’s goal this year lol)

I imagine your d was happy to have the day off- I was when I was a teenager. Unless me and my friends had planned a feast on the day. That was the only thing we enjoyed about sports carnivals lol!

Mark are you saying you were diagnosed with depression 30 yrs ago? Have you been suffering all that time, or does it come and go...?
That’s a really long time! You must have some hella coping skills!

J*

[Matchy69]

Hi Jstar yes I have suffered depression for a very long time.I even had it as child from school yard bullying.I have good periods and bad periods with it.I also have been diagnosed with anxiety,panic attacks,Autism and other health problems.

[Guest_4643]

I'm sorry to hear that Mark. For me, I've had mental illnesses since I was 12. I knew it was depression then even without a diagnosis because I was feeling so miserable, negative, etc. and everything was changing.

[Jstar49]

Hey Mark, Hey Tayla,

I'm really sorry thats happening for you, and started so young.

I can see I had a predisposition to depression, being a melancholic, and other stuff- other kids, family life not conducive to well being. And have had bouts of depression since my early 20's, triggered by life events. So I kinda get where you're at, a bit anyway.

Can either of you id the thoughts behind your mental health issues?

Cos I was becoming aware today, again, how much the thoughts I'm having atm were set down in childhood and reinforced by life events, probably simply through not having the appropriate role models who could teach me how to counteract that negative thinking. And it's HARD to change that thinking. It's relentless, esp when I'm being triggered.

What do you think?

Hugs,

J*

[Matchy69]

Hi Jstar I think the things that has happened to me in my childhood has shaped my life and has the effect I want to make my children's lives better then mine.I have them in small country schools instead of the larger city schools I went to and got lost in the system and the teachers didn' care.I was speaking to a retired teacher and she said to me the smaller schools are so much better and they are able help the students individually unlike in a bigger school.

Tale care,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

My son got an award today for being responsible.A great start to the year for him.

[Guest_4643]

Great to hear Mark, good job to him. I bet you're proud, I'm proud of him. Good effort, well done.