Struggling with sibling.

[Blackroses]

Hi everyone. I like many of you are struggling with a family member with depression. The illness itself is quite debilitating amd sad to know so many and so many families are dealing with this. My younger sister has depression and has been suffering for the last year and a half. I suppose i should start from the start.
My sister was in year 11 last year and due to not going to school for the majority ot term 2 due to depression The school while they appeared on the outset understanding were trying to (in hindsight) retain funding by blackmailing her into staying at the school- even though she had made clear that the bullying going on was a significant factor to her depression. She attempted to go back to school in semester 2 but the insidious bullying that was occuring within her friendship group and my sisters immense mental vulnerabilities cased her to have another breakdown. So she decided to take time off school for the rest of semester again, and started seeing a headspace psychologist. She was sporadic in attendence to the psych and eventually stopped going. In hindsight i wish we immediately found a new one to go to instead of hoping other therapies may work too (as based on her suggestion and willingness). During her time off she would lay in bed all day and play games on the gaming console. Its a vicious cycle because i believe the time off school may have helped with stress but i believe the illness robbing her of motivation didnt and was made worse during that time. In 2016 she started year 11 again and was again doing well in term 1. She would constantly say she was fine again a did not wish to see a psych/ psychiatrist as she was back to normal. Then she got physically sick with another condition shes suffering from during the holidays, which caused her to be bedridden in pain. She was finally alleviates from the physical pain 2 weeks into term 2 but even when she tried to go back to school her depression kicked in and made it impossible again. Right now we are waiting to see a psychatrist as the first time in 1 and a 1/2 years she has agreed to see one. I dont know what the future holds but I hope medication is a step in the right direction to getting my sister her happiness again. I hate this illness and everything its done to my younger sister and my older worn out mother.​

So yeah...Im 19 in Uni and am feeling quite hopeless about all of this, even though youre stories do fill me with hope. Thank you for reading.

[Neil_1]

Hi BlackRoses,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and posting.

For you to come here and post regarding your sister who is really struggling is such a wonderful, caring thing to do – and wow, it really shows the love and adoration you have for your younger sis. It actually makes me feel really good inside knowing what kind of relationship I think the two of you have and no doubt will have as you both get older – that’s an incredibly strong bond.

With regard to earlier this year with her physical sickness, that was so unfortunate that she encountered that, as that seems as though it was the catalyst to recommence her depressive state again.

That is very pleasing to know that she’s now agreed to see a psych; that’s a big positive step.

Did she feel that seeing the headspace psychologist was beneficial for her? Though as you did mention that she was on/off going, I’m guessing that she may not have felt comfortable with that particular person. Finding the right counsellor to talk to is a huge thing and it can take time; as in, as she’s already found, the first person she was seeing, may not have been the ‘best fit’ for her.

It’s also combinations of things as well – not only the counselling, or medication, but also to try and find things that she enjoys. You’ve mentioned the gaming thing that she was doing, while that’s good (ie: something she enjoys), it’s also something that keeps her isolated in her room.

Is there things that she might be interested in re: outdoorsy kinds of things? Sports, physical exercise, etc? Perhaps cycling or running? Something perhaps that the two of you could try? Fitness is a big thing also for the mental wellbeing of us; plus diet is another big one.

Hobbies, music, movies, other things that she might enjoy? You as her sis would know far better than me just throwing out suggestions, but hopefully I’ve mentioned something or perhaps given you a glimmer of something that you might be able to suggest to her.

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil