Hi Ro, welcome
From my experiences especially in recent times Ive come to the conclusion that what we solely experience as individuals is often nothing like what others feel. We cannot expect others to think like us. Supporting someone doesnt mean it will be returned even recognised.
So elaborating on that. You in your eyes run around doing all these tasks. What if (hypothetically) your wife does not count those tasks as support? What if she takes such effort as expected effort or maybe not fulfilling her in what she identifies as support.
That might from your angle seem very unfair, and it is, but for her with how her mind is wired, it isnt registering.
If this is the case, your challenge and hers if she accepts the challange, is to seek out what the other partner identifies as what support means to them. In your case when she claims you are not supportive what would support include eg talking more? Listening more? More intimate dinners? Asking more how you can help her.
It seems from your OP that your good efforts are not targetted accurately.
Relationships Australia might be a good place to go. If she wont attend then go there yourself. You can also visit your GP.
Tony WK
