Hitting the wall - spouse with depression

[Fitzchivalry]

I've been with my partner for 10 years. He's always had depression and it's been a struggle to get him treated, now he's been medicated for a while but always refused therapy. Well, he's having a bad down period and pursuing it now but it's a bit late. I've bypassed caring right now. I've put so much into this relationship and I've made so many allowances for him, and he's waited until I've hit the wall before bothering to get some help. I'm trying to support him, but I'm also trying to raise the kids, recover from major surgery, deal with my own my own mental health issues. Help me. What do I do now?

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Fitzchivalry

Welcome to our forums. I hope you find our support useful.

Sorry to hear what is going with you. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

Have you told your partner what you have shared with us in your post? He might not realise where your thought process is at.

It is great that your partner is pursuing therapy. With him looking after himself a bit more it sounds like you can put yourself first. Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? What kind of mental health issues do you struggle with?

I have had two partners with depression and it is so hard on so many levels. My husband is now looking after himself and is in a good place but it has taken a while to get to this point.

Blue Jane

[geoff]

hello Fitzchivalry, I'm sorry that your situation has come to this, but now it's your turn to get the help you need, because you've given him all the support and encouragement to get him into therapy but it was always like talking to a brick wall, he paid no attention, and now it's broken you, after trying to recover from surgery plus having to look after the children.
This is why you must definitely contact your doctor, because it's probably overdue, and if the kids need someone to talk to then contact Reachout.
You have struggled with so much and for that I'm truly sorry, but trying to get your husband into counselling has played an enormous burden on you with the result of becoming depressed, so can I ask what sort of support base you have besides your doctor.
Please let us know how you are getting on, whether you want to on a daily basis that's great and please don't be afraid to contact us, we're here. Geoff.