Post High School Depression?

[Sahara]

My son is 18 and will be 19 in a few months. He finished Year 12 last year and hasn't been at school since last October.  I thought it was fair enough he needed a few months off, but now he seems to have slipped into a depression and it is getting worse and worse.  He's a smart, lively, charming and very sociable guy but now he spends nearly all day in his room with the door closed in bed with the blinds down watching movies or on his phone on Facebook. He ocassionally goes out on the weekends to parties with his mates but that's it.  He's made virtually no attempt to look for work or other education.  I know he's scared in this transition but he virtually won't talk at all.   I've tried to help, doing up CVs , trying to look for jobs etc. and have suggested going to a psychologist/counsellor./doctor etc  . but he just get's furious at anything I suggest. Now he is saying stuff that is really concerning me. .like "F... it all", " I don't give a F:" even about his family who he loves dearly. I' just don't know what to do.  He's totally unreachable and it's breaking my heart.

[white knight]

Hi Sahara, Welcome to beyond blue forums

We are sufferers of mental illness so we give our opinion based on our experience.

Your son could be going through a cycle of depression. We now know from very recent studies, that cycles need to be allowed to run their course. We should not try to get people to "snap out of it" etc.

Ok, so be it, however your son needs medical consultation. He needs to get to a doctor. This will not impede on his "cycle". If he refuses to see a doctor try bringing a doctor to him. Yes, he's 19yo but he has family and household responsibilities. If his actions are hurting other people then he needs to stop it by getting reassurance for them.

It's a tough gig. Please dont blame yourself. Posting here alone makes you a good parent.

Tony WK

[Pixie15]

Hi Sahara,

This sounds like a difficult situation for you. You can not really force your son to see a doctor as he is legally an adult. You also can not leave him in his room alone playing with his toys. This does not seem to be good for either of you.

Did he suffer a big disappointment at the end of his school? Was there something he really wanted to do that he did not qualify for? It may be that he has given up because he does not believe he can do what he wants to do.

If he is struggling with anxiety or depression it would be difficult for him to do the things that you want him to in searching for work and this might be why he is reacting so negatively because he is being pressured.

Maybe you could try some other ways to get him out of his room more often to as least get him out and doing something.

thanks,

Grateful.