Depressed Partner Pushing Me Away - Broke up?

[Jamhealy27]

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling to deal with my partners anxiety/depression. We have been together for about a year.

I noticed some changes in him around Christmas when he became very tired, unmotivated, negative thoughts on himself and distant

I suggested we go to the doctor and have a chat and he was diagnosed with depression. I suggested we speak to a psychologist and my partner and doctor thought that would be great.

I was not aware at the time he had previously been on medication for this.

My partner went onto the consultation and when he returned told me he no longer wanted a relationship with me and it has to end. He felt too guilty because he wasn't feeling himself and just couldn't feel motivated / energized.

Its gone from a loving and caring relationship to its all over in a space of a month. 

I want to be there, but I just feel pushed away. He won't accept any support from me and wishes to not see me anymore.

I want to be there as a friend but he doesn't want me too. Its been a month now since I have seen him.

[geoff]

dear Jamhealy, I'd like to welcome you to the BB site and I do want to thank you for posting your comment, which must have a total shock for you and not what you expected to happen.

This period of a month has been devastating for you, in a loving relationship, then he was showing signs of anxiety and depression to now you have been thrown away, and the relationship has ended, whow, this isn't what you wanted, nor ever would think that it would happen.

I feel just as dumbfounded as you, but I'm not sure that he had ever been honest with you, because he had been taking medication before or perhaps he still was taking it, behind your back.

It's not appropriate for me to be guessing, but in your situation and from what he has done to you, questions arise for me that don't sit comfortably which are only to support you.

So if he had been taking medication who did he get it from his doctor or was a psych involved, I don't know the answer and I'm not sure you may.

Now that it's been a month since you have seen him, I can only feel so sorry for you on how this has been handled by him, but perhaps you may be able to find true love now, as you sound to be a lovely lady.

I hope that you can reply. L Geoff. x

[Doolhof]

Hi Jamhealy,

I'd also like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and the community here. I was just writing in another thread where a guy is having trouble with his girlfriend not wanting to talk with him.

Relationships can be hard work. When you throw in an illness of any kind and especially a mental illness, then life can become even harder to work out and understand at times.

I am very sorry your relationship has ended in such a way. You must be feeling confused and bewildered by it all.

It is your boyfriend who made the decision to leave, not because of you, but because of his own illness and the problems it is causing him. So please do not think poorly of yourself at all.

As you have not heard from him for a month now, I presume he will not be in touch with you again. As hard as that is, it may be time for you to remember the good times you had and move on.

I suggest you try to become involved with family and friends, go out, enjoy yourself, take up hobbies and interests and make sure you have something to look forward to on the weekends especially.

Hopefully you will feel content with your life and as you are filling your days, someone else will come into your life and you will be happy together.

In the mean time, make the most of each day and look for a bit of happiness where ever you may be.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools