My husband cries uncontrollably with depression

[Bonnie15]

My husband has major depression and at times cries uncontrollably. Unfortunately I don't know what to do and feel totally helpless. The only thing I feel I can do is hold him until his sobs subside. His DNA (which we have had tested) prohibits him from getting any relief from medication - nothing seems to work. We are about to undertake ECT treatment with all fingers and toes crossed in the hope he can get some relief from the massive pain he feels. He's a broken man and it's so very, very sad to see a fun person with such a loving and caring personality destroyed by such an insidious disease. Does anyone have anything I can do to be of more support to this darling man. Thank you, Bonnie.

[white knight]

Hi Bonnie, welcome

It's really supportive of you to try this forum and describing your loving husband as you have is refreshing.

Firstly your action of holding him is actually very good. You are powerless in many ways so just being there helps enormously. You can let him sob away then just as he begins to recover introduce a physical plan like a walk or board game. This method of distraction worked for me.

This method I dreamed up means you do an action opposite to your phydical desires.

Google

Beyondblue topic switching mindsets

Beyondblue topic the timing of motivation

Beyondblue topic crying, let it all out

Beyondblue topic facing the emotional brinķ

Beyondblue topic depression, distraction and variety

Are you aware if he has any triggers?

Beyondblue topic triggers that down you, triggers that lift you

You only need to read the first post of each thread. There are many more on this site just use search.

I want to convey hope to you both. As a couple it seems a hopeless task but some things can be tried so he gets to know his triggers and you can both work on ways to predict episodes.

I hope the ECT treatment goes to plan and he improves. We are here 24/7/365 with a response within hours so we are ready for you if you like to repost.

I hope that helps

TonyWK

[Bonnie15]

Hi Tony - Thank you so much for your reply. I will certainly give your suggestions a go and see what happens. I certainly hope we have a good outcome from the ECT and hope to be able to post a success story next time. Thank you once again. Bonnie

[Bonnie15]

Hi Tony - Just to advise that the ECT was stopped due to no response other than whiplash from the convulsions even though an anti convulsive drug was administered with the anaesthetic. We had a blood DNA test done on my husband and it was found that so many of the drugs prescribed don't work because he doesn't metabolise drugs as other people do. It's complicated but we now have to work out which drugs, if any, his makeup can tolerate. He's in a bad way at the moment but, hopefully, we will get there. Hope to give you better news soon. Thank you for being there. Bonnie