Husband has PTSD and physical disabilities

[Pimsy]

Hello. I'm a male originally from America, but I moved to Australia 5 years ago to be with my now husband (I'll call him George). I knew he had PTSD from prior abuse but it was under control when I first arrived. All was well until George had a fall in a public area. His injuries were severe enough that he required two shoulder surgeries, and also has foot issues that need addressing. His GP at the time did not take the injuries seriously, so tests were not immediately ordered.

Over the last few years, he's gotten progressively worse. His PTSD has been exacerbated by both his injuries and our confrontational duplex neighbour, who bullies George because she thinks he's a "nutjob." Dealing with her and the Strata managers has led to much anxiety and stress for both of us. We got George onto the NDIS, but thanks to inadequate support coordination and underfunding have gotten precious little out of them. He's constantly dealing with incompetence and winds up doing their job for them, except they get paid and he gets nothing but stress.

With George's limitations, I'm serving as his full-time carer and am unable to seek work (all I'd be earning would go to a nurse for him anyway right now). The bad days are beginning to outnumber the good, and with my family in the states and few friends nearby, it all falls back onto me. Recently, a failed nerve block injection injured his trapezius, and he's been in excruciating pain for over a month. He's so unsteady that I usually have to hold him while he walks, and lying down to sleep in any position makes the pain worse. He's fallen off the couch twice in the past few days and actually wet himself before he could summon me with his LiveLife alarm. I'm still trying to get the carpet clean.

With all my attention turned to George, our house is falling into disrepair. I'm also having to look after our two dogs, who started fighting after George's injury and now must be kept separated at all times. Finding a temporary home for one of them is something we want to do, but we can't seem to get anything done with these constant setbacks.

I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this alone, but good help is hard to find and we can't afford most options. I'm beginning to fear we'll never manage to turn our lives around and get George better. I want to believe it, but I'm tired of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed time and time again.

Please, does anyone have any advice? We need help, and fast. Thank you.

[Doolhof]

Hi Pimsy,

Welcome to the community here. I am sorry to read you and George are having such a hard time trying to receive the help and assistance George and yourself require.

No doubt you have discussed all of this with George's Dr. Has the Dr been able to come up with any suggestions?

People have recommended to me that I contact my local member of Parliament to see if they can help with issues. I have had no success with that so far, but you may be more successful.

Do you know if there is a Carer's support organisation close to you where you can connect with other carer's and share ideas and strategies?

As a short term measure, is it possible to have George admitted to a hospital so he can have assistance and you a little respite?

Are there things you can do for yourself to help enhance the quality of your own life? As a person spending so much time caring for a loved one, it is also important to make some time for your own needs. This is not selfish, in the end it is beneficial to all around us if we find some pleasures in life to look forward to.

I don't know of any organisations you could reach out to. My experience is limited in this area.

Would you feel comfortable talking to someone from Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. The support people will be able to listen and may be able to offer some suggestions to you.

I hope you and George find some answers and assistance.

Regards from Dools