My GF has depression, now she says she doesn't love me

[itsmii]

Hi, 

So my gf and I have been together for a bit over a year and everything was going so great. She told me from the start she had depression but that didn't change how I felt about her at all.

Right now things aren't looking too good, she is stressed out over exams and bad grades which has put her back into a bout of depression. I've also been a little jealous when she hangs out with other guys but I've been trying extremely hard to get over it.

Within the last month we have talked about moving in together, she has mentioned the idea of marriage, and also that if she were to ever have children she would want them to be with me. She tells me I'm perfect and that there's nobody else in the world for her.

Now she says she doesn't love me. She doesn't enjoy spending time with me, she has no sexual attraction towards me, and is quite cold towards me. She still enjoys hanging out with her other friends, and also baking etc which really hurts to know that the time where she is the unhappiest is with me. I don't know how her feelings can suddenly change like that, I love her more than anything and have supported her through everything. She wants space, we're giving each other a week without seeing/speaking to each other to see if that helps.

Also I should mention that she has never really had a high libido as she has very low body fat percentage which messes around with her hormones, so I'm just hoping that it's a combination of this and her stress + depression that is making her like this.

She has emailed her psychologist asking what she thinks, but I'm scared it's all going to end...I thought we were meant to be together, we already planned our futures and now this happens.

Any advice, similar stories or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated

[itsmii]

Thank you so much pipsy, I really hope the space has helped her, and I hope she managed to get in to see her psychologist during this time apart to hopefully try and ease what's going on in her head. I know it's going to sound silly as I'm only 20, but I really felt (and still do feel) that her and I are made for each other, we have such similar lifestyles and morals that I feel would be very hard for either of us to ever meet someone else who suits each other as much as we both do (I know it's probably naive, but it's just how I feel).

I won't pose the relationship as an ultimatum, I'll just make sure that she knows that I hope she is completely sure with whatever decision she makes. I've read on other forums/articles etc on the internet that people highly recommend that while going through a depressive episode to not make any major life decisions, I hope she doesn't do anything hasty.

Thanks for your support, it really really helps

[JayMic]

Hi there,

I am in the same predicament - but I am the gf. Differences are I am 27, a counsellor and been dating my fiancé for almost 9 years. I have had a similar conversation with him - it was hard but its honestly how I felt. I, of course, I am unsure exactly how she is feeling but it is very real when you feel you don't love someone because you genuinely cant feel love or any positive emotion deeply for that fact, only sadness. I know I love my fiancé, and I knew I was happy - but currently I just don't feel it as much... its so hard, logically i know he is the love of my life and my soulmate but I cant turn on those feelings to connect with those thoughts. The main difference however is she seems to be having positive experiences with others - I don't feel this as much, my happiness with others has also decreased. I'm very social and active and that has changed. So this is why I am not sure if depression is the whole answer - its certainly could be a major component. Seeing a specialist is a good start. I hope I have helped in some way. Ps- it doesnt matter how old or young you are - love is love and heartache is heartache - we all go though ups and downs. Take care