Is your Partner Supportive of Your Depression/Anxiety?

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone and any New Posters are very welcome!

I have noticed some new threads from people with depression/anxiety who have a partner that has little or no tolerance/understanding of their illness. I have been treated like I have a highly contagious virus when I mention to a partner that I have Depression/Anxiety. I just want wanted to know if anyone else has or is being treated the same way...(FYI... I have had Anxiety/Depression since 1983...The anxiety has faded away and the Depression has been around since 2000...and will be with me for life)

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

hi Paul, well at first yes, but after awhile no, unless you try and end your life, then yes again, but eventually that fades away to being on your own and struggle on by yourself. Geoff.

[Guest_5218]

That's simple - no. I have anxiety (ptsd and some ocd) and occasional depression (related to chronic pain through a long term injury). My partner does not believe in depression / anxiety. So why or how could he be supportive of someone with it. As a result we never discuss it, never make allowances for it. We basically ignore it's existence. Although I dont get lonely as such, I do often feel alone because of this. There is a difference! And I just feel as though I am battling alone every day without understanding or support from the home front.

Another very thoughtful thread Paul. Thankyou. ( - :

Sherie xx

[Carmela]

Hi, I have been supporting my husband who has depression for 18 years. It is difficult to truly understand what mental illness is like if you haven't experienced it and l believe one has the wear the shoes to understand its impact on your mind and heart. I have watched my husband go from being a perfectly happy and vibrant man to a total recluse with no capacity to feel. I grieve for him and our marriage through each episode. It saddens my heart to watch this and understand what is going on in his mind.

Over the years, l have had to educate myself on depression and as his carer, I don't always get it right. I have made mistakes and said words that l just could not take back out of frustration and anger, but it is the total ignorance of some family and friends where l have a real problem. Only compassion and education will rectify how people treat others with mental illness and it takes organisations like Beyondblue to assist in this process along with each of us to show courage and start the conversation. My wish is to one day see the world a more compassionate place where mental illness is accepted and talked about as much as cancer.

I am not sure whether l have answered your question Paul but these are my thoughts anyway.

Cheers, Carmela x

[Lightbeam]

Hi everyone!

Agree that we need to educate ourselves as carer's & as kind, compassionate human beings to overcome the stigma of mental illness. As someone who has loved a partner with depression, anxiety & PTSD for seven years, I tried & I tried so hard to be the best support I could. Today he broke my heart (again) when I uncovered a massive web of lies he feels that he is not accountable for. I know that he is hurting too but I cannot give anymore nor accept his behaviour when he is unwilling to acknowledge that he needs help.

My thoughts are a little over the shop at the moment to be perfectly honest but I am ever so grateful to have found this wonderful group of people so willing to share their knowledge & experiences from both sides of the coin. I have learnt so much from you all.

Even though my relationship is done, I feel that my journey as an advocate for mental health is just beginning.

It has been the most challenging & heartbreaking journey.

Thank you all so, so much again for sharing, listening & not judging. Even though that right now I need to take time & space to grieve & comprehend my current situation, I will not be a stranger to this space.

With kindness & gratitude 🙏🏻

[pvroom]

I am lucky, and I guess my husband is lucky too. He has depression, I have anxiety. We both support each other fully. Maybe because there are some shared experiences, although they are very different.

[blondguy]

Dear Geoff.....You have also just described my life story as well in your reply. Especially about eventually ending up on your own and having to struggle on your own. So very common and sadly true....My partners have found the low points of my depression 'all too hard' ....Thankyou Geoff

Paul

[blondguy]

Dear Sherie...When I read that your partner doesnt believe in anxiety/depression made me very sad. This mentality would make anyones recovery extremely difficult.However I know you are an achiever for having the strength and the guts to go out and heal yourself Sherie. His attitude would make me feel isolated not just alone.Your strength and coping skills are to be admired

Paul xx

[blondguy]

Hi Carmela! Thankyou for replying too!

What a wonderful and inspiration post. You are incredibly strong by being such an understanding and supportive carer. You have made so many great points I will quote one you mentioned "Only compassion and education will rectify how people treat others with mental illness" So very true and as you mentioned its great that BB is a great vehicle that can provide some clarity and reduce the ignorance where mental illness is concerned.

For you to watch your husband slowly fall into the precipice of depression would be heartbreaking. You have a huge heart and great courage Carmela.

Thankyou for an informative and well articulated post

My Kindest thoughts to you and your husband

Paul

[blondguy]

Hello Lightbeam...........A great reply and thankyou. You have also been through a great deal as a partner trying so very very hard to help and be there but to no avail. I am so sorry that your partner is not accepting responsibility for the untruths you have discovered. That would be soul destroying for you Lightbeam.

One of the main reasons I started this topic was the frequent new posts I kept responding to from people like yourself that have a partner that wont acknowledge he needs help. I know you feel for him but his behavior and denial are not justified even with his illness.

You cant help someone that is unwilling to help themselves as you know Lightbeam

You have a lot to deal with right now. You have a huge heart and have been very supportive of your partner. You need some TLC too. It would be great to have a chat soon. You are an inspiration Lightbeam

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul