Dear New Member~
I"d like to welcome you here to the Forum and talk about what's happened. I'm going to be a bit blunt, my apologies but you deserve to hear things as they really are.
I think you are well out of it even though it is a heart-breaking and confusing situation. It boils down to the fact the the realtionship meant something serious to you, but not to him.
The fact that he sees girls as a type, such as blue-eyed blondes, means he is only seeing the outside, and does not see or value the human being inside, the one that gives and needs affection and stability.
In short he has not started to become an adult yet and sees girls as amusements who basically are interchangeable. A kiss is meaningful to you, but not him, which is why you get confused as it is mixed signals.
The fact he kisses you is designed to keep you on a string, ready for him to return to when he gets tired of the new girl. That's insulting and shows a complete lack of respect and understanding of who you are.
If it was me I'd have nothing more to do with him. As for the pain, it is not something you can step aside from, it hurts now and will for a while, I'd suggest you not only look after your body with the gym and good food, but also take time to increase your social life to meet others who are more mature -which you deserve.
If things get too bad I"d suggest the Kids Help Line, who are very understanding and can be a comfort.
I still remember my first relationship, even now years latefr. They do have a special meaning even if they go nowhere.
Croix
