I'd like some help to support a friend please

[ksailorgirl]

Hi,

 I can't find anything meaningful on line to help me support a guy I've adored for 18 months, knowing full well what I was getiing into.  He hasn't told his family and he's alone.  I know he is in what we call "hell" right now and nothing I think we can do to support him really helps.  What do I do?  I've told him I'm there for him. It is not acceptable to me to walk away when he's suffering. I dont want to betray his trust and tell his family.

His doctor has told him to leave me.  I dont think she actually knows anything about him because this is breaking his heart too.  Why can't we de-engineer this and not have him and me coping alone?

Right now I'm floundering and we are both suffering.  Him alone and me trying to get some functional advice.  I miss him, he's wonderful. Things need to change after him suffering for 15+ years.  How does a lover/supporter help break the cycle?

Thank you,

Karen

[White_Rose]

Dear Karen

Welcome to the Beyond Blue community. I hope we can help you to find a solution but I must confess I am at a bit of a loss. Do you know why your boyfriend's doctor has told him to leave you? Does she think you are at risk from him or he is at risk from you? Also, what is his diagnosis? Does he have depression or something else?

I have so many questions I want to ask because I have no idea what to say at this point. Do you know why he has not told his family about his difficulty? I know there could be many reasons for this, all straight forward, but it is important for you to know these details.

Have you explored the BB information? Look under The Facts and Resources tabs above. There is information about depression and anxiety and information for family and friends. Also, have you contacted Carers Australia and similar organisations. They have heaps of resources.

You say your BF meets with his GP. Does he have any other professional help such as a psychologist or psychiatrist? If he has been battling depression for15 years without help it's hardly surprising he is getting no where.

I have asked you lots of questions as there is little information in your post. I do not want to overwhelm you with questions but if you could give us some more information we may be able to help. Only tell us what you are comfortable with.

I hope you will write in again.

Mary