Husband showing signs of depression...

[Flowerpower26]

Hi everyone,

I am new to the forum but after reading other people’s posts thought I might be able to get some advice and support in this time.

My husband and I have been married for 2.5years and we have a beautiful little 16month old boy who we both love dearly. I have been with my husband for 7.5 years and as a partnership we are very strong. Since we have been together, my husband has been able to work in his dream career as a professional athlete (I won’t disclose what field), but this is unfortunately also becoming a large source of emotional and mental stress that I beleive is really starting to cause him a lot of pain.

His field brings on a lot of expectation, politics and in his case continuous “disappointments” that have quite often been out of his control. However, being in the public spotlight it is often not portrayed like that and he worries about his reputation, which adds a layer of pressure. As is often observed, the birth of our son has again seen my husband put even more expectation on himself to “be the best” and “do well” because he feels it is his responsibility to support the family (which he is doing already, he just needs to be reminded sometimes).

lately, I have noticed he has been on board a rollercoaster of emotions -good and bad days. He sometimes talks and vents about his feelings and other days shuts down about it. Some weeks he doesn’t have a full day off causing him to constantly be around the people and environment that are aggravating his emotions. He is confused about what to do, and is torn between doing what is best for himself mentally because of the “damage” it may do in his career.

We have spoken openly about his feelings, and he knows that he is supported by me and is looking to speak to a sports psychologist. However, i am wondering if anyone has any other tips on what I can do for him on this journey?

Also, while I am positive about him seeing a sport psychologist I am worried that he may need additional counseling support that addresses more than the sport aspect and performance. Maybe someone can clarify more about what a sport psychologist can do for him to me? I feel he showing more signs of depression than he realizes, but I don’t know how I can address this with him? I am scared it will make him feel worse and I know that he will worry about the effect it is having on me and my son more than himself.

thanks in advance!

[Croix]

Dear Flowerpower26~

I think your husband has been very lucky, to have a partner that is so loving and understanding , to have a beautiful child, and to have been able to support the family though a professional athletic career.

One unpleasant factor that may have to be faced is in most fields of athletics age becomes a barrier and puts an end to success. True there are exceptions. I suppose it is possible this is already happening.

If one tries as hard as one can - really tries - and success does not follow then despondency, feelings of failure and depression may follow. This can be compounded by feeling the whole financial burden for the family.

A focused sports psychologist will concentrate on the mental techniques to get the best performance out of a person, and maybe that might be an answer, however if a career is coming to an end then a more general councilor may be required to deal with the emotional upheaval of change.

May I suggest you encourage your husband to see his GP and talk over the possibilities of depression and anxiety? Not an easy thing to do, but being unhappy in life can be a motivator to do so.

Being understanding and supportive as you are is the one thing you can do to lessen his worry so he does not feel alone wiht the burden.

Croix.

[geoff]

Hello Flowerpower, a warm welcome to the site.

A sports psychologist will do as what Croix has said plus enhance performance, self-talk and relaxation techniques can help him overcome some hurdles and achieve his best.

To cope with the pressures of competition and constantly being around people can make him compare his on field performance with his relationships with others, this is where it would be good for him to talk with another counsellor, they focus on different issues.

Best wishes.

Geoff.