hello, it's such a difficult situation you have been placed in, but you are such a thoughtful and caring person and want to tell her in a slow way only for her protection, however I wonder whether her mum is in bed where she appears to you both as being unwell, I tend to gather that this could be the case, and please I mean no harm in saying that.
It's never easy to tell a child that one of their parents is unwell and may pass away, because it comes as such a shock, we always think that our parents will stay alive forever and will always be looking over us, unfortunately this won't happen.
I also wonder whether she is religious and if so this could help, but what I would do is to talk to your partner about the life her mum has lived, especially the good times, and then slowly bring in the bad times, where pets may have died, the ones you all loved, so the good and bad times should be mixed up, and say that no one can live forever, that one day you will pass, but as I say the mix has to be good times compared to the bad times.
Her doctor is always the best way because he/she are professionals and patients do what they tell them to do.
When I say to my 2 sons that they can have this painting when I die, or tell who my executors are they always tell me to keep quiet, but it's a reality one day that I will pass away, so maybe I'm trying to soften the blow when it happens, but I don't think so.
You know the longer you wait the harder it is going to be, because by stalling in telling her just adds another layer of anxiety, I'm so sorry to say.
Please keep in touch with us. Geoff.
