Ive been dating my partner for >1 yr now. Im in a program that requires me to go abroad at the end of this year, for a min of 2 years. Ive always been up front about this. It was not an issue until Dec 2014, when he told me that he is not willing to lose me, and that he'll come with me when I leave. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I'd be taking him from home, but he was adamant. I slowly, with many times of needing reassurance that he was SURE, got used to the idea.
He figured the easiest way to come with me was on a study visa, so he applied to a Uni close to where I'd be. We figured out finances, living situations, and logistics. The last piece of the puzzle was to get the visa before he was due to begin school. Then all hell broke loose--his visa was denied.
He didnt tell me right away because I was in the middle of exams. I eventually got it out of him because he was acting oddly. He broke down and told me that he didn't think it would work and left. He avoided me for 2 days and then came over and broke up with me, sobbing and shaking. I pleaded for him to at least talk to me about it but he refused. My last request was that he go see someone for help. He is a worrier and has a long history of anxiety about leaving his parents due to a horrible event 2 years ago-- long story.
I tried to mend myself but the next day he called me and told me he made a huge mistake. He asked me to come with him to the GP and I accepted, for I was concerned about his well-being. The doctor diagnosed him w/depression and gave him meds. He began seeing a psychologist.
I've had trouble trusting him since. He is my best friend and I truly thought he was the one for me. But for him to turn on us so quickly scared me. I'm getting over it, but he makes it so hard. It's been a month, and while we are back together, it's not the same. He gets days where he is sad and laments the days before we started dating where he could be "carefree." I've told him I miss that self as well, and I want to help him get it back. He tells me things like how he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me, but he is so stressed about us. I admit, neither of us has been very happy for the past month; Ive been looking at it as a bump in the road. He looks at it like the end of the world. And the worst part is, I leave in 5 months and I don't know what to do. My heart aches for him and I don't want to lose him, but I'm at my wits end. How do I help him get out of this cycle?
