helping my depressed 'internalising' partner

[fatima]

I am struggling how to help my partner. Sorry if this is a long story, will try to keep it down.

I myself unfortunately know well how depression and anxiety feels and I have only just reached a ‘fragile equilibrium’ after several very
dark months. My partner suffers from a more lingering style of depression; more a continuous unhappy disinterest and he keeps dwelling on the past.

My recent bout of panic attacks (related to fear of losing my job) has pushed him into a new episode of depression regarding his own
joblessness. Long story but some very unhappy experiences. I have tried to give him space and let him just ‘hang around’ but that seems not to help as he is angry with himself for not doing anything but can’t lift himself into doing things. I then tried to drag him along to do fun things but as there isn’t much that he considers fun, I have not been very successful with that either.

I have asked him multiple times to go see a doctor for help but he is not willing. So far his experiences with GP and psychiatrist have not
been very good so he is very reluctant saying that he will go if he doesn’t get better. I think he doesn’t see that he is actually sinking

Does anyone have any recommendations? If I am honest, I struggle with my own difficulty to ‘stay positive’ and work exhausts me so I
have not much buffer to be the driving force in his life. How can I get both of us out of the negativity spiral and get us from having ‘glas half empty’ to being ‘glas half full’ attitudes

[white knight]

Hi Fatima, welcome

Rather than repeat a lot...you can google the following articles I've written on motivation. Type  - Topic: then the subject -beyondblue    I've written the first one fully for you to google that do the same for the others...

Topic: Does stubbornness have a place? - beyondblue

Festering issues or moving on     eg this will be googled as "Topic: festering issues or moving on- beyondblue"

Depression– a ship on the high seas 

Feeding your brain

Getting depression into perspective- Please read this, it might help YOU

Who cries over spilt milk? 

What life can be like at the end of the tunnel

Do YOU RAMBLE ON? A talker of mental illness all the time? 

HOW TO BRAINWASH YOURSELF

Being positive – what’s the secret?

Boredom the closed door to fun?

MELTDOWN –back to basics

Bullying

Meditation – words of wisdom –it helped me for 25 years

DEPRESSION  – is there any positive? 

Can you force people?  

30 minutes can change your life

The best praise you’ll ever get

.............All these will take time for you to digest but it will make a difference. Good luck

Tony WK