Help needed

[Unsure77]

Hi

i recently walked out on my bi polar fiancé as it got abusive and nasty. I wish I had read Tony's post about the cuppa before doing so, I'm not a confrontational person at all, the is sure I cheated on her which I didn't as she contacted the person and was told the same thing, but still didn't believe either us. She told me she loved me and things would change every time I went back but never did. The last time I went back she hit me again so I walked. It's been nearly three weeks now I haven't heard from her. Her family hate me as they all think I cheated on her, she has told them I am a compulsive liar. I love and miss her so much.

have I made the right decision by leaving, not that I think I will ever see or hear from her again. She is all I have thought about since I left.

[Unsure77]

I will probably be told I am emotionally manipulating her even though it's honestly how I feel about her. I sent the message so what ever happens from here happens.

i said I sent 100 yesterday it was the last of what I had and I miss and love her much.

[Unsure77]

We'll i m sure she will say emotionally manipulating her. I sent the message say I sent her $100 yesterday was last of what I had and I miss and love her so much. I guess wait see. What happens from here happens

[Guest9337]

Technically if we offer people options along the way, including the option to make their own options, then we truly aren't manipulating them.

Ok, so plan on that response then.

You reached out an $100 olive branch and the response from SHE is something like : you are manipulating me, stop that.

So you stop that and have your surety.

or SHE says, you are manipulating me, why are you doing that?

So you tell her. I've told you already, I love you, I miss you I want us back together, but I need to be safe and I need to connect with my kids and keep them safe.

or SHE says, honey that's sweet lets get back together come around right now. (Whilst planning a trap)

She might say, wow, that's really honest, __________...

She might say, you're manipulating me but I need another $100!

She might say....

[Unsure77]

At a guess it will be your manipulating me why are you doing that, especially when I say that she needs to be back on her medication for us to be able to move forward.

[Guest9337]

So whilst you are waiting for contact think/feel about the likely responses...

If She says I am manipulating her after giving her $100 and making conditions for us to get back together that include my safety and connecting with my children and HER taking medicine. then...

I might say, You can spend that $100 on whatever you want, that's fair options for you.

I might say, You can choose to not take your medicine, and the consequence of that is I won't come back to you.

I might say, You are saying I am manipulating me, how can I say that I need to be safe without manipulating you?

I might say, What is manipulation to you? I don't think I'm being manipulative because I am giving you plenty of options and speak to me about more options. What do you want to do about my alleged manipulation?

[Unsure77]

That's right if she isn't prepared to take her medication and speak to a therapist I won't be going back, but I will know I have done all I can to mend this

[Guest9337]

Sorry there is a few errors in that last post. but I think you get it.

I have the tour de france on now.

Can I feel ok about not replying any more tonight?

You ok with that?

[Unsure77]

That's fine and thankyou very much for your support today

[Guest9337]

Sweet mate, I'm gonna party hard a little bit now. Love ya.

[Guest9337]

Good morning/afternoon/night my friend who is Unsure77.

I am slowly feeling the waxing of my awakeness, so I reach out to say, my soul mate will awaken soon.

I must find a w_y to make coffee silently.

party hard.