Hi lostinparadise. Having your parents divorce when you're quite young, can be fairly traumatic. Being at boarding school, then coming home to find mum and dad divorced would have still been a bit of a shock, even if he was forewarned. Being away from home, makes whatever happens at home, seem like it's in another world. He would've been taken aback to arrive home to find one of his parents has gone. Knowing it and seeing it are two different things. Perhaps he also was unable to discuss how he felt about it with the custodial parent. He's had to bottle the resentment he no doubt feels over the divorce. Maybe he feels partly responsible and has never been able to talk about it. You mentioned his mother is a 'high achiever', has she ever indicated she was disappointed in him for not following in her footsteps? If she hasn't, again he needs to tell her how he feels about his (to him) 'shortcomings'. If this is in his mind, his mother needs to know so she can explain she accepts him how he is. If she is disappointed in him, this, too needs addressing. There's no shame in resigning from a position if you're unhappy. Perhaps if your MIL could visit him so they can talk, he could tell her how he feels about everything that's happened. Maybe he should try explaining to his her that if he does stay put for her sake, he's staying for the wrong reasons. This situation can only be sorted out between them. Perhaps you could be there for support, but let them do the talking. See if you can talk this over with him, get his feeling about whether he's agreeable. If he is, then let him contact his mum.
Lynda.
