Confused and worried

[Kz30]

Hi I have been In Victoria for the last 2 months as my sister who is 52 has been diagnosed with throat cancer for a second time, I can see she is struggling with what maybe the outcome for her,

my worry and confusion is that we lost our eldest sister she was aged 49 in 2014 suddenly and I found her, I’m trying not to compare the 2 but it is hard when they look and sound so much alike, my husband and family are all in qld he does not understand the impact of what is happening nor do I feel he is willing to try and understand

my sister and I are best friends and I can feel myself slipping into a bad depression ptsd state if I’m not able to get on top of it

I feel like I am grieving again but for both sisters, I practice mindfulness everyday and grateful to be here with her

I just really needing somewhere to off load we’re I don’t feel I’m crazy

hope this makes sense

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Kz,

I felt your grief, fears & deep sadness. You sound like you have such a beautiful bond with your sister (& late sister too). True love comes in many forms...

I‘m deeply sorry for the loss of your eldest sister in 2014. You must have been devastated & heartbroken....

I think losing your eldest sister has made you aware that life can be very fragile. So the uncertainty of your other sister’s outcome must be particularly frightening & stressful now...I really feel for you.

I’m glad you have reached out here though. It sound like there isn’t much support from your husband & family at the moment. I feel that makes you feel very alone in your sadness. But I want you to know that at least here on the forums, you’re not alone...

Write in any time to unload your feelings or thoughts if you like. There’s no pressure of course, but we are here & we are listening...

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Kz30]

Thank you pepper

yes I do feel very alone at the moment trying to hold it together for my sister I see the fear in her also knowing that the out come may not be what we want however time what we have even though she is classed as terminal there is no time frame we support and love each other very much, she is actually the one who suggested me contacting beyondblue as she can see I am struggling with my own health

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Kz,

My heart breaks for you & your gorgeous sister. I felt your love for her through your words. That unbreakable bond & friendship...true love really does come in many forms...

Not knowing how much time she has left must be so scary. She sounds like an incredible sister. So loving & thoughtful. Even during this painful time, she’s still looking out for you & asking you to reach out...

I’m very glad you’re reaching out here & talking...thinking of both of you. There’s no pressure, but please don’t hesitate to write as often as you like...we are here.

Kindness and care,

Pepper