Caring for socail anxiety

SharlosDad · ‎25-07-2015

My son has had social phobia for 20 years. He lives with his mother and me. The diability pension is far too little for him to have his own home. He relies on us for a lot of his business dealings - interacting with Health Funds, Centrelink, etc.

My wife and I are getting old and I want to try to teach my some how he can manage all his transactions by himself. I have searched high and low for literature on how I can train him to look after himself, but I cannot find much. Can someone recommend something, literature, a website anything that will help me?

geoff · ‎26-07-2015

dear and thanks for posting this rather difficult post, well it's not really, but then it is, sorry to confuse you, but for a grown adult still living at home, and has a fear of branching out on their own is a big step, as it would be much easier if they had a girlfriend or boyfriend, but in this situation it doesn't appear to be, and please it takes a great deal of confidence, especially when you and your wife have been doing everything for him.

Social anxiety is a huge problem, and it's not overcome easily, but can I say that what you both have done you should be proud of.

If you google this long search item then it may provide you with some information 'how to get someone to look after their own finances in Australia', as well this 'overcome social anxiety online'.

What he needs to do is to research social anxiety, because there will be a day when he has to do something, which you know, and please I mean no harm in saying this.

Another alternative is to seriously look at desensitization, as it's way for people to overcome any phobia, or to slowly get him out of the house, it's a great program, and really interesting to read about, so see how you go, but I'm sorry it's an enormous job for you to try and achieve, and the effort has to come from him.

I would also like you to order 'all the printed material' which under the tab 'Resources' at the top of this page, it's all free, and BB will send it out to you by mail. Geoff.

SharlosDad · ‎27-07-2015

Dear Geoff

Thank you for your response. I will start looking at your suggestions.

romantic_thi3f · ‎30-07-2015

Hi SharlosDad,

Thanks for reaching out to the forums and it's great that you want to help out your son.

I want to ask is your son seeing a counsellor or psychologist? If not I would really recommend it, because as with anything the best way out of it is to start really small and set small goals.

The one organisation that I would really recommend is MIFSA. Their website is http://www.mifsa.org/ (Mental Illness Fellowship of South Australia). They can have support workers that can visit your son at home and set goals with him to increase independence. They work completely at his pace so there's no pressure but their primary goal is independence so will work with you to achieve this.

The other thing I can suggest is seeing a psychologist or social worker yourself to try and get the techniques. It might be something really small like being on the phone on loudspeaker together or pre-rehearsed lines "Hi, I have an appointment at 10.30". It might start of with you being next to your son as he says it and then working towards him going in on his own. Of course this depends on where his at right now with his confidence.

I also know that lots of local libraries often have information and training sessions about using the computer for MyGov (Centrelink online) so this might be worth considering too.

I hope this helps. Good luck.