Carer

[Etta]

Hi every one I'm a full time carer for my mum who is 73 she has a range of mental issues as well as health issues I just don't know what to do any more I feel lost I have no life I go no where with out her I do nothing with out her She constantly tells me I don't do anything for her and I feel everything I do for her is unappreciated and never good enough. I have no friends left because they all gradually went away because of my mum. I feel worth less and and depressed all the time I have 3 other sisters and one brother and not one of them ever help in any way but they are constantly telling people that they do help and even have the Gaul to tell people there helping me as well . Some times I just wish I would fade away but I have a 21 year old son who loves me and needs me so I stay strong for him but I don't know how much longer I can put up with this life and even if I still want to 

 

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. 

 

[white knight]

Hi Etta,

I hope others chip in here with their ideas.

I would put it to all your siblings that you need 2-3 days off each fortnight over a weekend. This would allow you to have a social life or even go away for that time to be apart from your mother.

Once you put it to them they can do all the consulting between them as to with which son/daughter your mum goes to. They can make up a roster. But it should be them doing the planning not you. You have already taken on enough responsibility.

So whether you do it by letter or phone call or preferably a meeting, it has to be done.

Also include in this plan extended time during the xmas/January period to allow you to go on an extended holiday...just like they do.

Tony WK

[Etta]

Hi tony 

thanks for your reply I have already tried that and had them promise they would look after her and it never happened. I have had enough of my whole family I just want to go away and never come back and then they would have no choice but to look after her. I feel like I'm screaming for help but no one listens to me. I am so desperate that I have actually hoped that I get sick or have to go to hospital just so I can have a break isn't that pathetic. any way I guess I am stuck with this for a long time to come yet. Thanks so much for your reply