Dear BB, Only 26 years of mental health experience has gone into this thread so if I've missed anything I apologise. I'm selecting these 10 questions from partners of depressed people from about 1,000 I've read with my 2 years responding. Feel free to add to the list if you like adding to lists or feel a bit confronted by the simplicity of the answers. Just saying.
Q1: Why is my partner unmotivated, isolated and withdrawn from the family ? A1: Depression, i.e. sick
Q2: Why can't my partner take some responsibility and sort himself/herself out ? A2: Depression, i.e. sick
Q3: Why can't we go out to the movies and do things like we used to ? A3: Depression, i.e. sick
Q4: Why do I have to do all the kids drops and pick ups ? A4: Depression, i.e. sick
Q5: Why doesn't our sex life shred the sheets like it used to ? A5: Depression, i.e. sick
Q6: Why do I feel like the enemy or the one to blame ? A6: Depression, i.e. sick
Q7: Why does our extended family avoid us ? A7: Depression, i.e. sick
Q8: Why, with the job loss/redundancy or Centrlink are thing so terrible ? A8: Depression, i.e. sick
Q9: Why did David Charles make this brief guide ? A9: Depression/Mania, i.e. fully sick
Q10: So what has the analogy with riding a bike go to do with it ? A10: Depression = riding a bike, i.e. a familiar journey
CONCLUSION:
I hope that clears a few things up. If a partner can't accept that Depression is a valid and life sucking illness to be treated with empathy and support then I think it's all about the partner rather than the sick person. Getting frustrated with a depressed partner, telling them to "snap out of it", being bossy because you are "sick" of it (the irony !) probably won't help in the long term. But in the short term it's a bit like kicking the cat. Only a cat has 9 lives, isn't on meds and looks cute.
Adios, David.
PS I'm trialling a year without the internet so wish me luck. Who knows, it will be like having my mine pumped. I'm aware some partners of depressed people won't accept this black and white position.
