??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest,

It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed at the moment. We're so sorry to hear that it's such a tough night. We are concerned about you and getting in touch with you privately.

Please remember that if at any point you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should contact 000 (triple zero).

Feel free to keep talking here if it's helpful for you.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Guest_4593

I am so proud of you for letting us know how you are feeling and how last night was playing out for you.

How are you feeling this morning? I am wondering what you were able to do to make it through the night and get some relief and to make it past these feelings that I have no idea how they must feel for you. I am so very sorry you are going through this and I would really like to chat some more to you and talk about how you are going today.

Sending you care, hugs and support

Sarah

[Guest_4593]

Please i need help.. i can't live like this anymore. I can't ask for help, i can't tell my family im stuggling.but. I can't keep self harming  , saying everything is fine, nothing is fine. And i can not help myself

[Sophie_M]

 
Dear Guest 4593,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you. 
We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
 
 

[smallwolf]

I noticed that Sophie-M replied and from your post you are really struggling at the moment. I also recall from your 1st post in this thread you have a 2-3 people you felt you could talk to. Is this still the case?

The other thing(s) on my mind is/are ... (1) what things give you enjoyment? I was wondering whats on your mind if you want to talk about some of it here?

This is a safe and non-judgemental space for you to chat.

[Guest_4593]

I have talked about my mother before she is a attention seeker everything is always wrong with her but never anything wrong with her. She hears symptoms she suddenly has than someone hurts there leg next day she will have a bandage on hers.

I s/h on 1 arm i hide it from everyone month again i got drunk and showed her i dont know why, i was angry and wanted to show her hey everyone has problems today i saw here in a singlet she has the exact same new marks same arm same place i dont know what to do with that i feel so angry like she has taken something personal of mine and turned it into her own problem.

I just feel like i can't deal with her anymore and i dont know what to feel about her now with the same marks openly telling everyone that she harmed her self

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_4593,

We're sorry to hear that your relationship with your mother has been strained and that you have both been self harming. It's a complicated situation and it makes sense that you're not quite sure of what to feel about this. The community is here to listen and support you, and we hope you find some comfort here during this time.

It sounds like you might not be feeling supported in your relationship with your mother. If you think it could be helpful to yoy, you could get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.

More immediately, we would recommend that you find some support for yourself. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided: https://kidshelpline.com.au/  

Please feel free to keep us updated here to share what you are going through.

[smallwolf]

Saddened to hear about the relationship with your mum. Sophie_M has already provided you with some links to follow up. I can also see why you might have showed your mum your arm - you recognised it might not have been the best thing to do but hey.... you were angry about something and that was how you reacted.

You dont have to answer this here, expect curious what drove you to drinking and then to show your mum? Do you have friends that you can talk to when things get stressful for you, as a way of getting the feelings out and not running around in your head? My last thought is whether you have looked at the web pages on the beyond blue web site about self-harming.

You are a special person in this community and I hope you will come back to chat some more.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you.

[Guest_4593]

My need to s/harm is strong tonight. Long story but i feel that need, the pressure the desire to let go and lash out relieve my stress i tryed exercising and nephew has broken brand new treadmill which is adding to my mood at the moment last stop at distraction here

[Sophie_M]

Hey Guest_4593,

Thank you so much for reaching out tonight and keeping the community updated on how you've been feeling. It sounds as though you're trying your best to keep distracted by these thoughts, and we understand how tough it can be when these self-harm urges return. We're really sorry to hear about what has happened to your brand new treadmill which has added to your low mood, and we think you've shown a lot of strength in posting here tonight to help keep your mind off things as much as possible. We also just wanted to let you know that we're reaching out via email to check in and offer some extra support for you tonight.

Please also remember that extra support is always available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service (1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). Sometimes it can be really helpful and grounding to talk these feelings through with an understanding and empathetic person on the other end of the phone.

We're all here to help you through this, and we'd urge you to reach out to these extra supports whenever you need.