Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Don’t want life to end but keep thinking about it ??

replies: 8

Hi, I'm currently really struggling I’m not sure where to start… Yesterday I was supposed to have my first psychologist appointment but I accidentally overslept and missed it and I was so upset I felt so stupid like how did I let that happen and it really tipped me over. My sleep schedule is beyond repair, my bedtime is 6am and all I do is cry when I think about sleeping and then having to wakeup. I have a casual job, it’s not hard 3 times a week really easy stuff not stressful but every time I think about working or having a shift I get a dreaded feeling in my stomach and don’t want to go, I also go to uni 2 times a week but I’ve missed 3 weeks worth of class because I can’t wakeup, can’t get out of bed I have panic attacks thinking about needing to work and go to uni, I feel stupid, when I do go I’m exhausted I’m on the verge of tears all day in class or through my whole shift. All I think about is going home and I’m checking the time every minute wishing the day was over. I did really love what I was learning and I want to continue uni and I have friends there but for some reason it’s just so exhausting. ive been hurting myself, and recently I’ve been daydreaming about everything ending? I don’t want to die. I don't know what to do, I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me but I can’t keep dumping my thoughts onto him, I feel like the only reason I havnt hurt myself really bad is because I have him. Sometimes I think to myself though, how can I can get a valid break from everything? I also don’t have an appetite I think it’s because I sleep all day and when I’m awake I don’t have the energy to make myself food so I just don’t eat, I did have a meal today when my boyfriend was over but other than that not much, and now I have a raging headache. it feels good to type this out, I haven’t been this honest with anyone because I feel guilty and embarrassed ….. I'm lost please help

High functioning suicide

replies: 5

Hi, I'm in my 30s with great two kids and meaningful career. My marriage has emotionally ended but we are together so the kids can finish school in peace. When our youngest was born, I fell into a deep depression and attempted suicide. Eventually, I got to a better place. All those close to me, don't seem to have a clue that I think about dying constantly. I live a normal life. I do the things that are meant to keep me well but life is pain. I don't mind my marriage ending but I plan to end my life after the kids finish school. I can't keep living but I've survived this long, I can do a few more years. Does anyone else have this kind of high functioning - long term depression/suicide thing?

Everything is just going in circles

replies: 4

Hi, I just need to vent for a bit Im in the middle of my uni but everything is going sideways. Im an international student but I failed my course. Im trying to talk to someone in my uni to help me to go back and finish my course but I cant even go out of my house. I kept trying to schedule a meeting but something always happens and i keep canceling my appointment. I failed because for the last semester I wasnt able to do anything. I got scared of going out. Im having a hard time to talk to other people (strangers mostly) face to face. Its more like Im afraid of trying to start up a conversation with them. I dont know why but when Im outside alone I get really anxious/scared. And in my mind i keep talking to myself to keep myself calm. Now because of that, I just keep procrastinating everything. It now led me to failing to extend my passport, fix my visa, fix my uni, fix my life. And i just keep lying to everyone i know. I keep telling them everything is okay, but for real i cant even live properly. Its not like i dont want to fix my life, but everytime I start to think doing something about it, i will feel really anxious and really disturbed that i will not be able to do anything. And it just repeats everyday. Have problem, be bothered by it, be depressed, calms myself, tries to think/fix it, more problems, be anxious again, depressed, calms myself again and so on. Plus i have social, personal, academical, financial, emotional problems and compulsive liar. And then now I got covid which really dampens everything again. Most of the time i think about the s-word and there are times i tried it but never really finished because i know what will happen afterwards. But you know sometimes it feel really pleasing to my mind. Like boom. Done. I feel really pathetic thinking and writing all of this. i just dont know anymore. I just want a way out of everything. Run away from all responsibilities and the rest. Its a life I did not even want and it just seem endless. But thanks for listening, its my 1st time sharing this and Im not sure if i posted it at the right spot.

Getting past having no purpose??

replies: 6

Hi How do you get past feeling like you have no purpose? Everything just seems way too hard and each day I wake wondering why I am still here. Nothing interests me anymore, I'm already on high dose of antidepressants and still struggle with wanting to be here I've googled how to find purpose and want to be here but that hasn't helped What have you used to keep from slipping through the cracks I've been feeling this way for months and each day is a battle Thanks

Reached out to someone for help - ended up being blocked. Now I feel like some crazy loser :(

replies: 5

I have gotten into a really bad headspace recently, just getting really worked up about what is going on in the world with the pandemic, WW3 about to break out, Freedom protests etc. I have been having very strong suicidal feelings because it's all too much for me and I'm terrified about the future. I saw some Youtube videos about what the people in charge of this world have planned for us (digital ID, social credit score etc) and I'm really scared. I showed the videos to my family back home to try to warn them and I still get called a conspiracy theorist even though it's the actual World Economic Forum leaders themselves explaining what they are doing. I feel like I cannot get through to my family, and I'm scared about what is in the vaccines. This is a really scary time to be alive. When I get into this weird headspace I find myself crying uncontrollably and feeling a sense of panic. I just want to go back to the 1990s when things were normal. I get really upset when I think about where I would rehome my pets I've also been sexually harassed and bullied at my work amongst other things - there is a lot going on and it's all getting too much. I can't go back to my home country to see my family and they wont come over here to visit me. So I'm here alone and it's not mentally healthy especially during the pandemic. The other night I got to a crisis point and decided that I needed to get help. I have used professional help in the past but I always feel pathetic and I prefer talking to someone that I know. But who could I talk to? I decided that the perfect person for me to talk to was someone I knew that works in mental health. I used to have a crush on this person (which they knew about) and I explained to them that I wasn't trying anything, but was just looking for help. So I told him everything, but it sort of came out as a bit of a ramble because of my neuroses and I think this made them a bit freaked out because the next day they said, in the nicest way possible, that we should go our separate ways. He offered advice on seeking help, diet+exercise etc. I apologized for my ramble and said goodbye. But then later on I sent a reply asking if we could talk at the end of each month, via chat. I said this would help me greatly. Instead of a reply I was instantly blocked. I was devastated, especially as I was in such a fragile mindset. I have been incredibly depressed since and i feel like like a crazy loser. I now feel like I can't talk to anyone

thinking about how i will never be loved by any girl

replies: 8

i just want to start off to say that ive been going through alot after being abused at school by teachers thinking i cant academically perform causing me to leave the school and loose all my friends ive been disconnected from being social i dont know how to socially interact so therefor its taken a toll on my love life no girl is ever interested in me i feel like ive become a lost cause no girl seems to be interested in me genuinely i feel like im hopeless ive been told after attempts that im boring to talk to or that im just not good enough for her or im not her type no girl will ever give me a chance i feel like im a failure im 22 now and i feel like nothing is ever gonna get better i feel like maybe there is no point in living anymore im not gonna be loved i feel like maybe its my autism letting me down or its my body or the way i talk i feel like girls these days are not giving any grace to a guy like me i have flaws but why cant they see past that and see that i am a loving wonderful person i feel like i will be alone forever i feel like i wont ever get help cause of what happened in my past i get ptsd flashbacks about how i was abused one day by a teacher i reckon if i stayed in college maybe i would of found someone i wouldnt be so socially awkward as i am now all i can think of how much im a failure ive tried ending it in the past but my feelings and emotions are overwhelming me in terms of my autism i feel overwhelmed cause i feel like no girl will ever give me a chance theres no chances or graces to see how much of a person i am alot of people have told me that girls cant make you happy and that i dont need a girlfriend in my life but i feel like being together with someone would make me feel like i am loved and that i am worth something but if i get ignored its like the exact opposite i feel like no girl wants me or will ever give me grace i feel like maybe i should give up on living i just want this pain of lonliness to stop i feel like maybe they reject me cause its all my fault i feel like i make so many mistakes that its something i cant go back to fix its hard i just dont understand the thing is i am hurting really b adly inside i have pains in my chest of like deep sadness and its a pain that doesent go away cause im never told by anyone that things will be okay cause i feel like it wont.

life atm

replies: 1

I have recently been told I have social anxiety and depression right, and I have a mental health plan and all of that and I'm currently changing phycologists because I didn't like my old one she was kinda like a mum and would like talk at me and I know I'm not much of a talker and that's probly why but I felt like I was being mum'ed by her. but problem is with trying to find a new phycologist is that the wait times are really bad. I don't get to see my new one until March. I am in my 6th week of this year at high school and its really stressing me out. there are all these tests and I'm like trying to pay attention and focus but like nothing sticks in my brain, and especially for science I like remember it but use the wrong words and because I'm doing ATAR than its deemed as wrong. I am doing 5 ATAR subject and a cert in sport and rec, which is my favorite class because there is no stress or worry. I really enjoyed dance in my younger years of school and i wanted to do dance ATAR but the only was I could do it is if i skiped straight to year 12 and like its fun and all but 2 lessons before my contemporary technique class I had a panic attack in the middle of class because it was all so much, and then the next day in the afternoon I was practicing in my room because I missed out on leaning something because I had a panic attack I had another one. my parents don't know about any of this I try and hide it from them, I mean they know that I have anxiety and like they take me to my appointments but I don't tell my mum anything, I actually don't really like talking to my parents at all like I kinda wished they didn't care about me I know it seems silly and like why would I say that but I generally don't feel a connection to them anymore and like I don't need them or want them. Another horrible thing that happened is because the first few weeks of this year where really hard and stressful I relapsed with my self harm again. I was like nearly a year free I'm pretty sure, I'm currently 4h and 37 minutes free. This is my way of coping, but if I don't do it than everything will fall apart again. I also quit gymnastics which I had been doing for like 7 years and I don't even really know why but all I know is is cant get myself to go anymore and its been 6months since I last trained.

self harm is getting out of control

replies: 3

whenever i’m sad or anxious i self harm but at the moment i have been self harming for weeks on end and i don’t know how to break the habit, i’ve done every other trick under the sun to try and stop and all the other methods to try and stop but i can... View more

The advice is to talk…

replies: 16

It annoys me that the advice is to talk to someone but honestly it just seems pointless. There is too much to talk to anyone about, and when you voice it, it seems lame anyway. Especially compared to people going through war, flood, fire, cyclones et... View more

What do you do when you don’t want to get better?

replies: 5

I’ve had emergency services called on me three times recently, they want me to go to the hospital. But I just don’t want to take any effort to change because life doesn’t seem worth it at all to me. I just end up lying so I don’t get taken away.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Don’t want life to end but keep thinking about it ?? replies: 8

High functioning suicide replies: 5

Everything is just going in circles replies: 4

Getting past having no purpose?? replies: 6

Reached out to someone for help - ended up being blocked. Now I feel like some crazy loser :( replies: 5

thinking about how i will never be loved by any girl replies: 8

life atm replies: 1

self harm is getting out of control replies: 3

The advice is to talk… replies: 16

What do you do when you don’t want to get better? replies: 5