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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Guest_1573 Help..what help??
  • replies: 3

I am totally disillusioned and over everything. My teenage son has been wreaking havoc. punching holes in doors, threatening to kill himself. I rang ambulance and 50 minutes they still did not come. He was then losing it more so I took him to my GP w... View more

I am totally disillusioned and over everything. My teenage son has been wreaking havoc. punching holes in doors, threatening to kill himself. I rang ambulance and 50 minutes they still did not come. He was then losing it more so I took him to my GP who I have known for years. He wrote a referral for a psychologist. That was one week ago. I rang today to enquire and apparently he has a two week wait. What is the point? Meanwhile I am suffering severe anxiety and depression....it is ridiculous. There is no help anywhere!!!! The one time I did call for help I got sent off to a revolting hospital where I was treated like a criminal? This world is a disgusting place. I do not want to be here. I do not want to have to deal with my aggressive head case son. Nothing I do for him is good enough. He might be happy when I am gone as he will at least have a lot of money. I have nothing to look forward to at all. Just more and more of this everyday. I know I will be contacted by BB but again it is all lip service. Nobody cares and that is the truth. So...BB...don't contact me because I won't answer your call and I certainly won't be sectioned in a revolting hospital where I will be treated like trash. I don't know the answer by any means but I can truly say that asking/begging for help and being ignored by everybody certainly DOES NOT HELP.

freddofrog Loneliness and other stuff
  • replies: 3

i have no friends and am so lonely, i am 17 yrs old and have dropped out of hs -at the time i dropped out i experienced a friendship group breakdown, my mh has suffered and i have suicidal thoughts everyday -i now work full time at a daycare doing a ... View more

i have no friends and am so lonely, i am 17 yrs old and have dropped out of hs -at the time i dropped out i experienced a friendship group breakdown, my mh has suffered and i have suicidal thoughts everyday -i now work full time at a daycare doing a traineeship (which i hate) due to the fact that i can barely get out of bed -just today at work i was warned about my behaviour on the job which is seemingly forgetful, messy and 'poor', if i get another one of these warnings i could be fired -if i get fired or quit my mum will kill me -i honestly can't see myself lasting till december (when my traineeship ends) -i ultimately have nobody to talk to and am just really lonely and sad -everyday i experience 100000 emotions and find it soooo hard to complete small tasks w/o feeling overwhelmed or breaking down -am also super sensitive which my boss dislikes and i cant control my emotions especially when im about to cry Any tips to combat these feelings and loneliness?

Damon_m Depressed, feeling like it’s all too much
  • replies: 4

Hi all, This isn’t easy but I’m giving this a go. I am 45 and have been struggling with alcohol dependency and depression for many years. I went through a horrible separation 5 years ago, it dragged on for years with a psychotic ex and a long struggl... View more

Hi all, This isn’t easy but I’m giving this a go. I am 45 and have been struggling with alcohol dependency and depression for many years. I went through a horrible separation 5 years ago, it dragged on for years with a psychotic ex and a long struggle with the banks when I had to surrender my house to the bank in order to get out of a mortgage. Somehow I met a lady that had been through similar, she had two lovely young kids, I felt love and hope again and eventually we moved in together and started a life together. We got engaged, had a daughter together (now 2 years old). I loved a drink in the evening, often 5 or 6… for me it was my escape from my troubles, work stress, life’s issues. My drinking was a problem and it was really hard to even have a night or two off. It caused arguments and disagreements with my partner and I often found myself yelling and being super hard on her kids. I was raised that way so I think I parent the way I was. We had our moments but stuck together. In Feb 2021 we bought a house together and this was a massive joy for me as I never thought I’d be in a position again to buy. I worked my ass off at every opportunity to make improvements and build on our investment, to grow our future together. November it all came crashing down and she wanted a break, two weeks later we were sort of back on. By Christmas it had gotten bad again, she wanted a break and space. We are now in seperate bedrooms and under the same roof. I have not been coping with this, the thought of losing the right to see my daughter everyday, not being a part of my step kids lives, losing my house, yet again.. it’s got worse over the last few weeks. She has been spending a bit of time next door with our neighbour, single dad similar age, two similar age kids as well so our kids are always playing with them.. I have been feeling more and more anxious and have started suspecting something. Today a came out and asked, nothing had happened but she said she does have some feelings toward him. I guess it’s a happy change from the current situation here. That moment my heart dropped.. all my hope of trying to get this sorted started to fade. I have been a mess for days, bursting out in tears everyday. Feeling so lost and sad I am at the point I am thinking it would be easier just to end it all. I don’t think I can do this anymore and if it wasn’t for my daughter I’d be there I think.. I don’t know what to do anymore.. just hollow and lost

clawbia I'm just curious.
  • replies: 3

For the last couple of years, I've been getting impulsive(?) thoughts about me wanting to 'make myself blind' in a sense. I don't have any reason to do this, it's not like I want to be blind or anything similar to that, so I don't why the thought eve... View more

For the last couple of years, I've been getting impulsive(?) thoughts about me wanting to 'make myself blind' in a sense. I don't have any reason to do this, it's not like I want to be blind or anything similar to that, so I don't why the thought even crosses my mind sometimes. I often times envision what the future would look like if I were to do this, I feel like there's a common thread of me just wanting to seek attention, but those are usually irrelevant(just extremely common with my anxiety and such). What's more important than thinking about the future, is what would happen while I was actually to go through with it. When I think about that, I do in grotesque details; like how it might feel, how it would look, would I regret it, etc. but that doesn't deter me from ever thinking about it again. So I was curious if this is nothing but a strange fixation, or may be a part of a larger problem.

imtrying_ I think I'm addicted
  • replies: 4

I've been self-harming semi-on and off since 2018. Over the past year and more specifically the past few months, it hasn't stopped. I still don't know why I do it. Life's just gotten so hard because there's so much pressure for me to do well in year ... View more

I've been self-harming semi-on and off since 2018. Over the past year and more specifically the past few months, it hasn't stopped. I still don't know why I do it. Life's just gotten so hard because there's so much pressure for me to do well in year 12. People don't care anymore. Whenever someone notices they'll say something like 'not again' and just roll with it when I laugh it off. Maybe they just don't know what to do. The scariest thing is sometimes I do it even when I don't want to. Like, the other night I was in bed and I just started and I wanted to stop and I couldn't. I can't tell if I'm going to kill myself or not. I can't tell if I want to. I don't care about anything anymore. I use to care so much about the people I would be leaving behind. Now I just can't bring myself to care how they'd feel if I did go through with it. I probably won't. idk. Every single day this week has been depressive episode after anxiety attack after self-hatred. I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this for much longer. I'm not good at school, I can't bring myself to study and every time I try I get distracted or just stop out of nowhere. I'm going to fail everything and it's my own fault because I have no motivation to ever do anything. And everything I do do is wrong and bad. I keep getting conflicting advice. 'your atar won't matter, it's just a number'. 'it's going to get harder and you need to try harder'. 'you don't have to get into a uni'. 'just keep going a piece at a time and get things done'. I'm not good at this, and I can't get better at it. last night I was so tired that I passed out before i could self-harm. I still want to die. idk how to end this.

Neeky Keep wanting to be alone
  • replies: 4

Hi, This is the first time posting. Three years ago I tried to take my life due to depression which I tried to ignore since 2010 after my Dad died from cancer. My husband children and family were shocked and angry which was to be expected. It took a ... View more

Hi, This is the first time posting. Three years ago I tried to take my life due to depression which I tried to ignore since 2010 after my Dad died from cancer. My husband children and family were shocked and angry which was to be expected. It took a long time before my husband felt comfortable enough to go away with his friends and leave me home alone due to not trusting me to tell him truthfully how I am feeling. He has been very supportive and is a Great husband and father. I feel that I don't deserve him or my children . I have this overwhelming urge to pack up and go find a place somewhere away from everyone and everything. I've stopped talking or contacting friends because I always feel I'm the one reaching out or making an effort to see them. I feel people don't really like me. I don't like myself and can't blame them really. I've always struggled with a low self esteem and have tried so hard to like or love me but just lately I've really given up. I'm tired of being disappointed or let down. My husband has a great circle of friends and so do my children. My son and his partner live in the same city but we never see them. My daughter lives 5 hours away with her husband and children and we see them occasionally. What I'm trying to say is that they would all miss me for a little while but things would get better for them and me. In the past I have tried to encourage my husband to find someone else but he always says I'm the only one he wants. I feel like he is the only thing keeping me here stopping me from going away as i dont want to hurt him again like i did 3 years ago. Don't get me wrong I would not try and take my life I just want to go somewhere isolated away from everything.

misties Not good enough
  • replies: 7

Here goes, not sure where to start. I am 69yo been married to the most amazing man for 16years but I am jealous when he looks at other women. I feel I am old wrinkled and not trim taut and terrific anymore, he does not understand these feelings as he... View more

Here goes, not sure where to start. I am 69yo been married to the most amazing man for 16years but I am jealous when he looks at other women. I feel I am old wrinkled and not trim taut and terrific anymore, he does not understand these feelings as he tells me all the time I am gorgeous. I have also told him that I do not mind him looking at other girls and I even point them out to him but the other day we saw two gorgeous young girls and I swear he was drooling and he muttered under his breath nice. I was so upset that I got angry he didnt understand what he had done wrong, and I cried for two days. I now find myself covering up I dont want him to see my ugly body. When I get like this I think of killing myself so that I can free him, I feel that maybe I have trapped him somehow... Sorry if I am rambling a bit. thanks for listening

Robert225 Helping
  • replies: 1

I’ll start by introducing myself. Robert, 24 years of age from a small country town in regional Victoria. like most of us here I’ve been battling for some time now, only recently spoken freely about my battle, being an empath my calling is to help pr... View more

I’ll start by introducing myself. Robert, 24 years of age from a small country town in regional Victoria. like most of us here I’ve been battling for some time now, only recently spoken freely about my battle, being an empath my calling is to help provide others with help which most of the time ends with me feeling overwhelmed and requiring help myself. I woke up one morning and said it’s time to stop feeling like a sad sack everyday, so that’s what I did I went and got the help I needed, tried to understand why I was feeling this way, how to overcome it and develop from there. battling depression isn’t always going to be a dark path, help yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Gertie12 What helps the most?
  • replies: 10

My husband has clinical depression and anxiety but in the last 6 months has refused to take his medication. Today I found him crying in the kitchen and he admitted to me that he just made an attempt on his life. This is his 3rd suicidal episode since... View more

My husband has clinical depression and anxiety but in the last 6 months has refused to take his medication. Today I found him crying in the kitchen and he admitted to me that he just made an attempt on his life. This is his 3rd suicidal episode since we've met and I told myself after the 2nd time that if it happened again I would call an ambulance and have him placed on a 24 hour psychiatric hold. But now it has happened, I don't want to do that. Will it even help?? I want him to seek help but he refuses. What is the best thing someone did for you after an episode?

Britishinaus I didn’t feel safe today..
  • replies: 5

It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve had a really bad day today (depression) and I was seriously considering ending it today. But I didn’t. I chose to go for a walk with my partner instead of waiting for him to go so I could do it. My partner ... View more

It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve had a really bad day today (depression) and I was seriously considering ending it today. But I didn’t. I chose to go for a walk with my partner instead of waiting for him to go so I could do it. My partner is a psychiatric nurse and is extremely experienced with anything mental health. I told him this evening that I didn’t feel safe today.. was that the right thing to do? I regret telling him and I sort of regret not doing it in the first place. Im so sick of being in pain. Im so sick of being depressed but I know I deserve it.