Hurting to deal with hurt and shame

[StrayDetective]

Hi everyone,

I started on medication for OCD recently and began starting to really beat myself up about mistakes I made. I have always held myself to a really high standard but now whenever I make mistakes I feel really horrible about them. Some of them it is perfectly normal to feel bad and I have apologised profusely to my friends to which they have accepted and I’ve tried to move on but I just can’t. The guilt is consuming and I urge to harm gets worse. Now I have to wear leggings and long shirts all the time otherwise people will see. I can never seem to forgive myself and it really sucks.

[Sophie_M]

Dear StrayDetective,
We are sorry to hear that you have had such a rough start to your new regimen, have you spoken to your treating professionals about what you have been experiencing?

It certainly sounds you are struggling to avoid being hard on yourself, Self-forgiveness can be a real challenge sometimes, but we have noticed from your post that it has been hard to receive it from others too?

There are options for OCD and its impacts in every major area of Australia  - please reach out to us so that we can talk you through some: as always, we are here for you 24/7 - consider calling on 1300 22 4636, but if it would be more comfortable, please start a webchat with us!

Please remember to keep in touch with your doctor and psych to keep them in the loop with what is happening, and please keep in touch!

Regards,

Sophie M.

[blondguy]

Hi StrayDetective

Welcome and thankyou for being a part of Beyond Blue...It takes a huge courage to post...you are strong

SophieM has provided valuable help above in her post..." have you spoken to your treating professionals about what you have been experiencing"

I understand what you are going through especially with 'beating yourself up' I used to do the same

I really hope you can talk to your doc/GP about how you are feeling StrayDetective...this is important as it can provide you with some peace of mind. Im on meds for long term anxiety issues

you are not alone....there are many kind people on the forums that can be here for you 🙂

any questions are always welcome

please be gentle to yourself

Paul

[Petal22]

Hi StrayDetective,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I also suffered with OCD……….. when I first started on medication things got worse before they got better.

I would talk to my gp quite often about the side effects I was feeling…… I recommend you have a chat to your gp about the way you are feeling.

Have you started any type of therapy for your OCD?

I understand what you mean in regards to mistakes we have made…… when you are in the grips of OCD our anxiety can be quite severe so any mistakes we feel we have made in the past seems to be magnified inside of ourselves due to the anxiety we are feeling.

We feel the urge to apologise for these past mistakes in the hope by doing so it will bring our level of anxiety down………. It does come down but only for a short time because we then think and obsess over another past mistake and the vicious OCD cycle starts all over again……… it’s exhausting……. I understand….

When you have these thoughts from past mistakes try to re direct your attention on something in the present moment…… keep redirecting your attention every time your mind wants to fixate on a certain thought……. It takes practice…

Try not to obsess over the thoughts just let it be there and then float away…

Try not to question or analyse the thoughts…

Meditation for learning to watch your thoughts is very helpful.. it takes practice

Ive now recovered and you can to with the correct help.

Im here if you want to chat