??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[Guest_4643]

Hey Guest_4593, sorry I'm just seeing your thread now.

I hope you're ok, I'm always here if you need someone. I'm sorry you deal with SH, please try and keep yourself safe. I did read your first post on this thread, I'm not sure what to say but I do care and I'm here for you.

[Guest_4593]

Thank u . Hope everyone is well .im ok just having another few struggles this week .. works been a little challenging this week ..i seem to always struggle around death of children.( Apologies for people who are not familiar with me )

on the upcoming anniversary of my first tragic death...Today a shift i was called in as a extra to work i experienced those feeling all over again... mixed emotions. Sad, angry, confused, upset. And disbelief in this world of cruelty pain and suffering .i can't understand why the world is this way and people are the way they are. Everyday i just find myself completely disgusted by what people call life. I call it hell

[Aaronsis]

Hey Guest_4593

It is so wonderful you have reached out to chat some more, not so great that things are tough for you at the moment, I am so sorry to hear that things are not going so well for you, especially that work creates so many emotional situations for you that must so very hard to have to work with let alone manage from a mental health perspective.

It is hard on forums to have the need for an instant response and someone to talk to "right now". While sometimes it is the case and you can get a response from someone instantly, but mostly it is not and that is hard when you want to chat and have someone hear how you are feeling.

Please consider the awesome phone chat services too, I know it is sometimes hard to chat on the phone but even a small chat to get what is hurting out and off your chest might just help.

I hope that things are better for you today, I am around if you would like to chat some more.

Hugs

Sarah

[Guest_4643]

Hey Guest_4593.

I'm really sorry to hear all of that. Grief is a difficult part of life. I'm thinking of you.

[Guest_4593]

I try so hard. I don't know why I bother .its all pointless. The harder I try the worse i am

[Sophie_M]

Dear Guest 4593,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 

[Guest_4593]

I need help

[Guest_4593]

I can't do it myself . I need help

[smallwolf]

hey 😞

what happened? do you want to talk about it?

or we can talk about something else if you want that might act as a distraction?

for example, what sort of things interest you? games?

Lets chat?

[Guest_4593]

Thanks smallwolf. I can see u and a few are selfless heroes here. I know everyone here has problems but u and others try the hardest and speak up the most ... please know while ur all responding to everyone. And i also see all ur posts .. appreciation for support may go unsaid but there not unrecognized ... so thanks for everyone that helps here . I wish the world for all of you.. thanks