What to do?

[dunno66]

I’m sure this is a common theme on here and I am sorry for adding to the repetitiveness.

But what am I supposed to do? As in with life? I feel no one wants to me around me, have no friends and no sense of life - I feel I have never fit in anywhere and just don’t know what I’m supposed to do?

I work, but don’t really enjoy it. Have pets, but feel that they would be better off without me/feel like it’s too much to care for them.

I have a partner, but I seem to just make his life harder and bring him down.

I really don’t have much to look forward to and what I do have it seems like then what? So I get X - then what? The world is still a difficult place to live and everything is so uncertain - nothing seems to work out for me in the end - so why bother?

I stick around for my kids and partner - but they don’t want anything to do with me.

I just feel like I am a burden to everyone.

Others who have found themselves in similar situations - what can I do?

I have no idea what interest me, no hobbies and no drive for hobbies. I’d like to have a friendship circle, but never really make friends. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey dunno66, 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery in sharing here. We can hear you’ve been going through some really difficult things for a while. We’re really glad you could come to the forum to share this with our community. We know it isn’t easy to share something like this, but we think it’s a powerful step and we really appreciate your openness and bravery in sharing.  
 
We’ve reached out to you privately to make sure you’re ok. If you want to reach out to our counsellors to talk this through, we’re on 1300 22 4636, and you can reach us online here. There’s also our friends over at the Suicide Call Back service on 1300 659 467, or Lifeline on 13 11 14. 

If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call 000 (triple zero).  

We can hear your love and care for your partner and pets shine through. We are sure they appreciate and love you. We recommend going to your GP and updating them on how you feel and perhaps setting up a mental health care plan. Have you tried sharing your feelings with your partner? We’d love to hear if there’s anything coming to mind as to what you enjoy.   

We’d really recommend having a look at the Beyond Blue safety planning app, Beyond Now. You can read about how it works and where to download it here. You can even call Lifeline and compete it with one of their counsellors over the phone if you'd like. 

Please keep sharing your words on our forums. Many forum members may have experience with some of the challenges you mention, and we think they will find great value in your kind and courageous words.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[smallwolf]

no need to apologise. No stories here are repetitive ... each story is unique based on own experiences and the way others interact with us. A couple of years ago when I was at my lowest, I could not get excited by much at all. At that time, I had leave from work and spent much of the week at a library and I also had apps on my phone to help get through the dark periods. The things that you mentioned in your post where you feel like a burden to others, and nobody wants you is how it can feel. 

You said your family don't want anything to do with you. I am curious if that is something they have said to you or how you think they feel. I am sure you are a good mother and wife, cook etc. And you are going through a challenging time at the moment, and deserve support.

So I hope you will forgive me if you have done this already .... 

have a chat with your GP about how you feeling and hopefully get a mental health plan for professional help. You could also try the K10 test here ...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10

You deserve a happier life. If you want to chat more here .... Listening.