Tired of fighting this battle.

[Beaser]

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other  forums  but im feeling very desperate lately. 

Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out.  Im lonely and going broke.  I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading      Brett

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

Well yesterday was the day i finally got approved.  What a surprise text on a Sunday afternoon.  It is a a huge relief to have some security . After all my decades of battling i finally feel as though there is some understanding out there .  As you would know its a long and hard process and i feel a bit of a sense of achievement that i managed to get through it myself with my very basic computer skills.  I know i will still have my battles but thats one less i have now.  

Enough about me.    How have you been ? I  know youve had some tough moments of late . I hope that your weekend went ok

Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

I am so happy to hear that you were approved. Just having that understanding of the struggles you have been through is so validating. I know it’s been so hard for you for a long time. It really does take the pressure off and gives you a chance to really focus on your own well being. And, yes, feel proud of yourself because just getting through the application on your own is, as you say, an achievement. I had a similar feeling with mine and I was glad I did it myself too as I felt more in control of the process. I want to give you a big hug! It’s true that you will still have the things you battle with but it will definitely make dealing with those things easier. You can put your time, energy and resources towards self-care and healing.

I’m still going through a pretty rough time with the EMDR side effects. I’m still waking with strong fear but gradually getting used to that. I’m now getting periods of very deep depression. It basically went wrong and the EMDR led to my brain and nervous system being constantly flooded with trauma and strange neurological effects. But I am noticing small improvements and working to stay positive and find a way through. I’ve found many others online now with the same side effects. It’s very concerning to me that these adverse consequences occur but it’s not well-recognised and there’s a lack of support for these people. But I am being as resourceful as I can to try different things to help recover.

I did visit a lovely friend on my way back from the city two days ago and that was very healing for me. I’m finding contact with the right people really helps.

Again, I’m so happy for you. You are such a lovely person Beaser and people like you are of such value in this world.

Big hugs 🤗 

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER

I hope your week has been good.  Im sorry to read you are going through some hard times at the moment. I hope you are finding some respite at times. 

Ive had a pretty good week i think im still on a bit of a high from my approval .   Its great to have at least some sort of security.  

I had a good shift at the hospital this week.   Its very busy up there at the moment and not a lot of beds available for people , There is a bit of covid up there and its striking the elderly a bit. 

Hoping you have a peaceful weekend.

Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

It's great to hear you have been lifted by the approval. I totally agree that having that security is incredibly helpful. It just takes the pressure off. For me it was like I could breathe again. Like you I had felt a lot of pressure beforehand. I remember when I got the news of the approval I felt quite shaky and had to sit down, because it was such a relief.

I'm glad you had a good shift at the hospital. Yes, Covid is still about. A couple of friends of mine just came back from Melbourne where they picked it up for the first time. It's more of a worry with the elderly of course but I hope all the people are doing ok. It seems to be less strong as a virus now from what I understand.

I hope you hd a lovely week last week and that you are enjoying your weekend.

Big hugs,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER 

I hope youve been going along ok.  

Ive been going ok im a bit more settled now that i have my finances  more settled.  I was like you when i got my approval notice i just stared at it and took it in. And yes it is like being able to breathe again. Ive actually made the decision to upgrade my car that ive had for 11 years as  i think it will start to cost me money and im feeling a bit nervous while driving it on the highway. Hopefully im making the right decision i must admit to a bit of anxiety about it. 

Im sorry to read that your friends had picked up covid i hope that it didnt knock them about too much. 

Wishing you a Happy Day.        Beaser.

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you Beaser. I hope you had a lovely day. I’m glad you have been feeling more settled.

I really understand about the car. My car is getting a new radiator and drive belt tomorrow. It’s 25 years old and I’m in a similar situation of trying to balance whether to keep doing work on it or get another car. I’m not sure I can get a new new car, but a second-hand new car. But I find it stressful balancing the cost against the number of km on the clock. I’ve also thought about getting the cheapest possible all new small car but it’s such a huge cut of the money I have left and then I worry about the future. So I really understand that balancing act. I guess one way is to look at what your overall yearly costs are going forward and maybe do a projection over the next few years, then work out the best options for a car. I actually have a small device that I can use to alert emergency services if my car breaks down as I live regionally and I’m often out of phone range. I pay about $30 a month subscription for it though so it still costs money, but gives me some peace of mind if the car does break down out of range. If you can get a new car though it would give you that confidence that it’s not likely to have major issues for a few years.

My friends who had Covid are all good now. They only had it mildly. I’m going to try to visit them in a few days as I’m up in the city at the moment.

I hope you have a lovely week Beaser. Take care and keep warm.

Hugs,

ER

[Beaser]

Thanks ER

I decided to hold off on the car as i think it makes sense to wait until next March when i can then access my super tax free. I think i need to just be grateful for a few months to have a few extra dollars after what weve spoke of.  Im in  a similar situation to you , i dont feel like spending too much on my current car but will have to get it serviced soon.  Thats a good system you have if your car breaks down it sounds like something you would need if you live rgionally in WA. 

Best wishes for a Peacefull Day         Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Beaser,

That makes sense to wait a bit with the car. I think with regular service you can at least have some peace of mind that it’s being taken care of, especially if you have a good mechanic you trust. My car is with the mechanic this morning. It’s a good family-run business who have been consistently reliable. I tried a couple down where I live and had problems, so now make the effort to come back to the city and see the one I find always does a good job and I really trust. He only recommends what really needs doing and will give me assessments about priorities for what is the most important and what can be left for a while.

The device I have I hope I never have to use. But it’s just peace of mind. WA is vast and you can end up quite remote fairly easily. I’ve driven by myself into some pretty remote locations and not always sure if it’s sensible, but I do love getting far out into nature and seeing different places. It really does something for my soul.

I hope you have a peaceful day too Beaser. It’s sort of grey and atmospheric here today.

Take care,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

Hope you are doing well just thought i would check in and say hi.

I have been pretty quiet just doing my footy stuff and hospital work. I gave blood for the first time last week it went good. I now plan to do it regularly also plasma which i can do every two weeks .  I find it another little positive for me.

Ive been going along ok mostly some  days better than others .  

Hope you are going along ok.

Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Beaser,

Good on you for donating blood 👍 It’s something that can really make a difference. I imagine working in a hospital would also be a reminder of how helpful it can be. I’m glad you have your footy stuff and hospital work.

I understand about some days being better than others. I find that a bit too. I try to go for a walk everyday which I know is good for me. We had some really cold days here and I found getting out into it made me feel really alive. I’d had some anxiety but it’s like the cold air gets rid of it and I really feel better while I’m out there. There’s been lots of small hail too.

Do you get to do any walks where you are Beaser? I hope your week is going well.

Take care,

ER