Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

[Guest_1643]

Hi mekitty just wanted to say thanks for Ur comment...

I stay here because

- the alternative is scary

- I want to use my pain for good

- growth is possible

- life is unpredictable and more good experiences may be around the corner

- I enjoy acceptance and commitment therapy

- when I write or journal my problems seem smaller

- peer workers get me, u guys get me, others understand

- one person's negative kpinion of me isn't necessarily significant

- the bad in my past wasn't my fault.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Sleepy,

These words of yours are powerful words. There are people here that you get, far more than I do! I've seen how some people respond to you, & clearly, your presence here helps them as much as they help you. I also like that you recognise that growth is possible, & life is unpredictable, good things can & will occur in your life, & I want to add, you can & have created much goodness here.

Absolutely, the bad in your life was not your fault. Can you se how much you have already used your pain for good? You have helped so many people.

I'd suggest, copying your own words & printing them out & sticking them up on your wall/s to see evry day.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

[Pandemica]

I was once a musician for my church many years ago. I remember one time I played for a funeral of a boy who died by suicide. I still cant get the image of his mother out of my mind. She was just screaming and had to be physically held up by other members of her family. Every time I get close to suicide, I think of that lady who lost her child, then think of my own mother and cant go through with it.

[golden82]

Hi Pandemica,

You are fortunate then to have a mother that cares. And have a good reason to stay here. For me, my mother is not in my life for years and never really was.. it is a pain so profound and an emptiness where i search for and seek out something but it is never it. I am always searching but what i really need is the love of my mum. I am broken, empty, feel defective and lost. Not having a relationship with my mum is one of the reasons to not be here So for me it works in the reverse.

[Pandemica]

Hi Golden82,

Thankyou for sharing that with me. A good reminder for me also to be greatful for what I do have. I don't feel that I have a close relationship with my mother, I mean I can't talk to her about anything deep and meaningful and all our conversations are on a superficial level only but at least I know that she does actually care. I guess just being a baby boomer she like many others her age are unable to express how they feel.

I think that my dad is much the same, but you are absolutely right. I do have parents who do actually care, even if they can't say it or show it. I am still lucky to have them.

[golden82]

Hi Pandemica,

Of course:) Thanks for your understanding and also it is great that you can appreciate what you do have with your parents.. I think that is a great trait to have. I hope you are okay.. i read on your thread you are struggling with drinking. All i can suggest is to take one day at a time and be kind/forgive yourself. You are doing the best u can right now. I've been struggling with binge eating these last 6 months. I read u said you failed. I feel that way too. But we are just trying to get by with cptsd etc. Need to go easy on ourselves. Take care 🙂

[Pandemica]

Thanks Golden,

I have in the past fought an Eating Disorder. I am lucky that I no longer have issues with ED but unfortunately have replaced those ED Behaviours with drinking.

I am constantly hoping that I can overcome these issues but feel that my only hope might be an inpatient admission.

I, like you, don't feel that I have any friends or family to support me.

[mocha delight]

No idea on what is

[needhelp__2]

honestly i don't know at this point. i keep thinking of how it would ffect people and then i realise it wouldn't affect anyone because no one cares anymore. they didn't even notice when i was struggling and when they did they dint do anything to help. i have no one.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear needhelp 2...

Im really sorry your feeling as if no one cares ...I care, and would like very much to get to know you better...that is if you want too....no pressure at all...

Have you thought about starting your own thread on Beyond Blue...that way we can help try to support you through this hard patch your going through...

If you do decide...(and I hope you) to start your thread..please pop in here and let us know the title you have named your thread...

We have really caring trained counsellor you might find comforting and helpful if you want talk things through..the number is..1300 22 4636...and they are available 24/7..

Hi mocha delight...sending you a gentle hug and a listening ear if you feel to talk....

My kindest thoughts dear needhelp..2..

Please be gentle and kind to yourselves...and it’s not just words when I say...We care...it’s genuine 💚

Grandy..