The only way to win this game is not play at all
I honestly feel like that at the moment.
I started to feel like things were getting better, started trying to make the small victories important, trying to make the most of every day. I made career change, started making new friends and started trying to be a better version of myself one day at a time. But I just feel like it's for nothing. Between the cost of living stuff just grinding me down, the lack of any hope for the future and now all the stuff with gas and interest rates and all this financial crap, I feel like there's no point to living. I had a call centre scam call me this afternoon and it sent me into such a rage that I just hate this world. I feel like life is a game and I no longer want to play anymore.
The only value I have in my life is caring for my parents. Otherwise my life is nothing more than making rich people richer and I was a fool for thinking I could make it better. I won't do anything, I wouldn't do that to my folks, but any progress I'd made over the last year seems for nothing and I just need to vent it out and I don't want to bring down any friends or family.
Thanks for listening for what it's worth.
Hello Black Bubblegum, hi and welcome to the forums, although I see you have posted before, and what you have described to us could well be a trigger for a relapse, although I can't qualify this as I'm not a doctor.
Parents as we age, truly need and certainly want the help of their siblings, I know I do as what we were able to do years ago, simply becomes harder as we get older, so I'm sure your parents really appreciate the effort you put in.
What you have done with a career change, making new friends is always a suggestion we make to help you overcome being a very difficult situation, so take great pride in doing this.
Your parents may remember when interest rates were 19%, which broke many business's and it's where we bought another home, that was really tough going as well as my MIL lived in another spec home and paid no rent.
Can I ask what your current situation is at the moment, are you living with your parents which may help ease this burden.
You need to cope with your own concerns because there may be other alternatives that may benefit you and I want to thank you for looking after your parents.
We would like to second Geoff in highlighting all the positive accomplishments you have made and hope that you can see that it has all been for ‘something’, despite how you are currently feeling. Society has been faced with multiple hurdles recently and many of them have had a dramatic effect on the stability of people’s lives and finances. We want you to know that you are not alone with your struggles and if you wish to talk through any options available, please give Beyond Blue a call.
We can hear your frustration at the “game” and genuinely hope that you can recognize the strength and perseverance to make positive changes despite these negative thoughts. It is wonderful that you have such a loving relationship with your parents, and we are sure they appreciate all your hard work and effort to support them.
We are always available and here to talk if you feel overwhelmed by the negative thoughts or need to vent, please remember you can contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
Your topic reminded me when 24yo (I'm 66) my brother took his life. I worked at a major jail as a warder. I said to myself "if you can't beat them, get away from them." Meaning- if I can't overcome city life or evil prisoner taunts or the effects of a concrete environment- move to the country. I did and never returned.
That move was only one of many changes made after the peak of my anxiety in my 20's. Others were- removing toxic people from my life, career change, from full time to 2x part time jobs, addition of hobbies and sport, a sleep study found I had sleep apnoea and expansion of my poetry.
All the above is achievable, it just takes planning. Eg employment be an issue.
Therapy was great at the time. Among many teachings I received was - "when you react to something ask yourself am I being realistic". Your scam caller is a perfect example. Your reaction is the issue because evil will always remain. If you took steps to counter that call then it is not dissimilar to me escaping my jail job. Eg any call you get that you don't recognise you don't answer. Then if that was an important call they'll leave a message. If they don't leave a message then google the number and it could list it as a scammer.
I recall driving 80,000km a year. I used to get so upset when innocently going over the speed limit. So- 1/ installed cruise control. 2/ accepted that I'll receive at least one ticket a year thereby not get upset when I do 3/ say out loud the speed limit when I see it.
Becoming realistic is a form of acceptance. Eg feeding rich people your hard earned money is simply how the world operates. Sit on a hill and watch a sunset so still when a bird lands on your shoulder you a far richer. Try changing your perspective.
We are human, we make mistakes, we have different tolerances, we need to care for ourselves more than we do.
Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get
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Maharaji prem rawat sunset
Beyondblue topic meditation, he helped me for 25 years- maharaji
I hope they help
I don't know if this is something you can relate to... or whether i am going in the wrong direction here ....
when I have questioned the point of life, part of this came from a divergence with what i was going vs my core values and beliefs - making other rich (as you said), destroying my sense of self-worth and becoming a viscous circle. There are other things that contribute to this such as frustration, that what I did/do became all consuming and take away from family time. Contrast that with things that reflect what I values give me a sense of hope.
I am not suggesting this is your situation, that you need to consider this and change up what you do. Or is it easy to ask what things do you like ...
more importantly, it is OK to vent, to talk about what is going on, and sometimes in that moment you may find the answer you were also looking for? Or allows for a time of reflection.
beyond blue also has a safety app you could look at.
and I want to you know that you are deserving of support and worthwhile...
.. if you want to chat about of the ideas here, listening to you