Suicide

[Staxcit]

Im No-ones favorite and whatever group i try to join i am not wanted and told to leave  and i dont fit in anywhere maybe i wasnt meant for this world

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_86775414, 

A warm welcome to the forums. 

We appreciate you having the strength to reach out and thank you for sharing your story here. We can see how hard it's been for you, feeling like you don't fit in. 

Please know that we and the community are here to support you as best we can.

We noticed you mentioned feeling that you're not meant for this world and we wanted to check in with you and provide you with additional resources to keep you safe from suicide.

Here are some resources and 24/7 crisis support options: 
-Kidshelpline 1800 55 1800 
-Lifeline 131114 or for suicide support via chat contact 24/7 Lifeline Crisis chat here https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/. 
-Contact emergency services on 000 or via this free app which will allow you to contact emergency services without a phone https://www.emergencyplus.com.au 
-Suicide call back 1300 659 467 www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au 

If you'd prefer to reach out to us, you can call us on 1300 22 4636, or you can use our webchat here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/

If there's ever an immediate risk of harm, the number to call is 000 (triple zero).

Thanks again for sharing. We hope you'll hear back from our community in response to your post soon and that there's some comfort in that for you.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in giving you a warm welcome here. I'm glad you came as you sound  very unhappy and alone.

I've been suicidal, and acted on it, so I guess that gives me an idea of how you feel right now. I can understand that feeling of being excluded and alone.  The worst thing about that is it makes you doubt yourself, you end up feeling if the people you've tried to be with reject you, then there must be something wrong with you.

You really are wrong if you feel this way, and no, it is not a matter of things are not meant to be. You a human being with you own personality, likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths.

I suspect, if you are like me, there is a strong impulse to try to fit into what others want, which really may not work. I'd suggest you may need to put to one side for a while trying to be part of a group.  Instead try to develop your own likes and needs, do things you are good at (even if they are small things), see yourself as a worthy person who will be of interest to others.

I don't know what your likes are, mine are movies and books, and I find even though they are my interests there are others who are the same and can have long productive and interesting conversations.

There are a couple of things that probably apply, firstly you have chosen groups who are not the right ones, in fact when you are confident about yourself and what you have to offer then reaching out in face to face or on social media you may find others who are like minded and can find enjoyment with you , as you will with them.

The second is you are only human and being rejected makes you fear the worst in future attempts to join, maybe giving a hesitant and unsure impression, not one others a comfortable with, it comes to be self-perpetuating with you feeling worse each time. That is why I say putting joining to one side for a while until you have gained your confidence by doing what you like and need.

There are all sorts of people in this world, and many will be like you, you just have not met them yet.

Coming here to the Forum was a good idea and shows something about you, that you are sensible enough to seek assistance when life is rotten, not something everyone can do. 

You will always be welcome here whenever you wish. If we do talk again I would be very interested in knowing the things that have given you pleasure, maybe even have made you amused in the past.

Croix

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at a time in your life where you're wondering where you fit it when it comes to this world.

It's definitely hard to know exactly where we fit in at times, especially if we're going through a transitional period in our life while questioning so much. I think there can be a whole number of reasons for not fitting in, including

• trying to fit in amongst the wrong groups of people who are not all that good for us and our growth
• trying to fit in while needing to work on self development of some nature (which I'll touch on a little more)
• trying to fit into a group of people who are not up for new members and are rather closed off and set in their ways
• trying to fit in with general types of people when we have very specific interests or ways of thinking

and the list goes on.

Regarding the self development angle, if we're trying to become a member of new groups of people and everyone's rejecting us, the question can become 'Is there a part of me I need to develop in order to get along with others?'. For example, if I'm the kind of person who says whatever I want, do I need to develop a part of me that helps me manage not saying absolutely everything that comes to mind? Or if I'm the kind of person who's seriously shy or introverted, do I need to develop a part of me that encourages me to manage more conversation or a part of me that encourages me to manage greater levels of confidence? Taking time out (from finding your people) so as to discover more about yourself can be time well spent. If any of the groups you've tried to join have provided some sort of feed back, feedback can sometimes offer hints when it comes to where we need begin looking at developing ourself. It's not about working on becoming more of a people pleaser, it's solely about self refelction and personal development.

As mentioned, it can be about having found all the wrong groups so far and being yet to find the right one. The right group for us can depend on our interests, including areas in which we're interested in developing our self. Sometimes too it can be about looking for the same types of groups when the group that would best serve us can be a little outside our comfort zone.

Sometimes it's true, we're not meant for this world of people who have a particular type of nature but we are meant for that world of people who have a nature like ours. Finding our people can make a world of difference to us and them.