Feels like nobody understands

[Guest_42188175]

This is my desperate attempt at trying to find someone who can understand, i've been in hospital twice and i've felt empty for so long. People get worried and fuss over desperately getting me some therapy or something but all i want is to find someone who genuinely cares and understands, someone who's going through the same thing and knows what it's like to feel like there's no escape.

[therising]

Such an enormous and incredibly warm welcome to you at a time in your life where you're desperate to find someone who can relate to your experiences or how you feel. 

I think 'Yeah, okay' or 'Good' or 'Not so good' can be pretty much the standard reply when someone asks us how we're feeling. I don't think I've ever heard a person reply to 'How are you feeling?' with 'I'm feeling through my nervous system' or 'I'm feeling everything through my current mindset' and stuff along those lines. 'I'm feeling through a sense of no escape' provides so much more insight than 'I'm not feeling all that good today'. When two or more sensitive people sit down to have a conversation about what it is that's being sensed, there can be so much feeling involved. 

I find there can be somewhat of a difference at times between deeply feeling sensitive people and thoughtful people. Thoughtful people, who do genuinely care, may think of all the things we need. Deeply feeling sensitive people can sometimes feel or sense what it is we really need. Whether it relates to them being able to feel though a sense of personal experience, a sense of compassion or a sense of intuition or something else along those lines, 'I don't feel alone anymore' takes on a whole new meaning. We finally have people who are feeling with us.❤️

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome to the forums.

I am really glad you posted. What you are describing, that feeling of emptiness and wanting someone who truly understands, is something many people here can relate to. It makes sense that you are longing for real connection. Being seen and understood matters. If you feel up to it, you might share a little more of your story.

If you do not mind me asking, have you had any experiences with therapy before? Only if you are comfortable sharing.

Listening...

[Guest_76905754]

Hey, 

Please know you are never alone, there is surely someone who feels the same way you do right now in this big, busy world of ours.

I have wanted to escape intense pain most of my life but have come to understand that suicide is not the solution for me. That doesn’t make it any easier to stay and keep living one day at a time though.

For many years I was discouraged to even own my struggles and felt such shame and disgust in myself. I can only share my experience and tell you that things can always get worse (cheerful i know right?) But it was only when I found myself in the most desperate and intolerable positions that I have learned to ask for help. Always for the sake of someone else initially but I must add that over many years I’ve learned that I am worth saving too.

I don’t believe it strongly and still engage in unhealthy coping behaviours (hence what has led me to the forum currently) but I can only try to practice the smarter options.

I still seem to mess everything up and upset everyone I love but they would be more damaged and burdened if I left prematurely.

Please friend, know there are so many of us who fight every moment to stay in this life and work so hard at taking one step at a time.

Thank you for showing your bravery and honesty in sharing. I know that takes strength in a world where it can be easier to lie to ourselves about how we are really doing. Our growth is painful but it leads the way for others xxx lots of gentle love xxx

[CaneNero]

Yes I feel like there's no escape. 

I'm not sure what you mean in your own context. It might be good to elaborate a little more. I think if we understand more you might find more people that understand you. 

I have depersonalisation disorder. It means that I feel dissociated all the time.... I feel like I can't connect with myself or the world. It's a very bizarre feeling and there's no escape because it's 24/7. 

So yes... It's very difficult to have this disorder and I do feel there is no escape. 

But I have learned over time how to cope and minimise my symptoms and gain some sense of stability most of the time. It was difficult over time to do this, but I have nothing better to do haha. Life and time were always going to pass me by anyway - so I thought to myself I might as well start improving things slowly. Time will pass anyway and maybe I will look back and be in a better position in life than I was last year.

Sometimes the people you want to care about you just don't know how to show that they do. And sometimes unfortunately they don't care about you as much as you hoped that they would. Sometimes they're not capable of giving you what you need. 

So you can try for some time, a few different ways to try and have your needs met through them if you wish. For example, perhaps they just need to be told explicitly what you want from them and at the time that you want them to do it. Kindly with nice words of course. It would be nice if they could do it without a prompt, but sometimes people just have no idea what you need, or need many many reminders.

But ultimately if you experiment and the things you try are failing, you might need to seek your needs getting met elsewhere. For example, perhaps finding people that care about you looks like finding more good friends. What perhaps when you're stable it would look like finding a nice partner. Or it could look like finding a pet that you can give your love to and receive love back. And at the very least it can be a support person such as a counselor to help you carry some of the pain and help you manage ways to deal with the fact that the people you care about can't meet your needs. They might have some strategies for you that could help, or maybe just talking to somebody could really help you to vent and release some of the pain.