Suicidal idealation

[AnonymousID]

The suicidal thoughts are non stop. I have come close to death several times, which was scary but not scary enough to stop me from doing it again. I self harm because I think that's a better alternative than another attempt. I've been stuck in this pattern for as long as I can remember and don't know how to get out of it.

[AnonymousID]

I feel like I have hit rock bottom. I have been harming myself in ways that are getting more and more dangerous. I have quit my studies and given up hope for the future. I am getting drunk everyday and doing things I wouldn’t normally do. I don’t really know how to break this cycle.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Anonymous, 

Thanks for reaching out on the Beyond Blue forums tonight,

We can hear that you're in a really difficult spot at the moment. Are you currently accessing mental health support? We understand it can be really tough to cope sometimes, especially if you don't have a lot of support from family or friends. If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. They will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

Please check-in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.

[Guest_1643]

hey anonymousID - taht's disgusting to be told that ur attention-seeking.

they ar missing your reality and truth, which you arebravely sharing. The right doctor will listen and believe. U deserve to be believed, I beleive you, and I hear your pain.
I've had that happen to me on all sorts of issues.... sometimes there's a bias... like if ur young, they think ur problems are made up and teenage drama, they don't listen. They need to do better, not you.

[Guest_4643]

hello anonymousID.

i just wanted to comment saying i agree completely with Sleepy. i have had stuff like that said to me - i'm faking it, i'm making it up/attention seeking, etc. even when I scored a 50 (the highest score) on a K-10 test right in front of this "professional". told that i should go & do something to myself. i'm sorry that was said to you.

Sleepy is right, they need to improve. you're doing your best and it's very hurtful to hear that, i know. i'm still traumatised by what has been said to me.

you're not attention seeking, we believe you. i'm sorry you're struggling and having bad ways to deal with things currently. are you able to stay safe currently?

[AnonymousID]

I can’t seem to use the chat because it keeps coming up with a runtime error. I have been to hospital twice in the past week. I am receiving some support but I don’t really think it’s intense enough for my current condition. I think I need daily support at the moment or be in some sort of program. I really need to interrupt the cycle. I’m really pushing the barriers that, if I keep it up, could be fatal. I am unsure what to do. On the one side I want to get help and on the other I think it’s hopeless

[AnonymousID]

I will be able to keep safe tonight

[Sophie_M]

Hey AnonymousID,

Are you having trouble with the Beyond Blue webchat?

If so, would you please email us the issue you're experiencing at modsupport@beyondblue.org.au

[Guest_1643]

hey anonymousid

i hear u

what sort of support are u receiving at the hospital that isn't sufficient? i've beento hospital before and if u wanted to chat about it, i know different ways of getting support that is more regular. it's very hard to access, but is there. you sound like u are strong and know wht you need. u deserve to receive that....

sty strong

i'll be around here a bit today and tomorrow if you need to chat any more 🙂

[Guest_4643]

hey again anonymousID.

i'm really sorry to hear that. i don't have any experience with hospitals so i can't help you there, i'm sorry about that.

in terms of the chat, that's weird. i hope you can get through to a helpline and it's helpful, if that's what you feel like doing. i'm glad you can keep yourself safe.

could you try Lifeline maybe if you're up to it?