Suicidal idealation

AnonymousID · ‎30-11-2020

The suicidal thoughts are non stop. I have come close to death several times, which was scary but not scary enough to stop me from doing it again. I self harm because I think that's a better alternative than another attempt. I've been stuck in this pattern for as long as I can remember and don't know how to get out of it.

AnonymousID · ‎05-04-2021

I feel trapped like I have no way out. I tried to help myself and fell back into my old ways. I find myself researching again and not caring anymore. I feel like I am a horrible person. I don’t wanna be that person but I find myself turning into that person despite everything. I am getting desperate

Sophie_M · ‎05-04-2021

Hey AnonymousID,

We're so sorry to hear how much pain you're in right now, but you have shown so much strength in reaching out here for support. We are so sorry that you are in such a difficult space right now, but please know that you don't have to go through this alone. We'd urge you to reach out to the caring, friendly counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are always there for you to talk these feelings through, as often as you need during difficult moments like these.

We are also currently reaching out to you privately as we are worried about you.

Please know that you are a worthy, valuable person and an important member of our wonderful community. You have been so strong all along and we are always here for you.

AnonymousID · ‎05-05-2021

I had a ptsd experience. I rang up a mental health nurse and they assured me it's not real. But it felt real, now I'm scared. It really shook me up. I was in bed, I was awake, aware, and my eyes were open. But I was being stroked from behind and in places that were inappropriate. I could hear the blankets moving. I was too scared to move for a long time. I haven't coped with it in very positive ways. I'm sorta struck with fear and I can't shake it

Sophie_M · ‎05-05-2021

Hi AnonymousID,

We're so sorry to hear that you've had this distressing experience tonight. We can understand why such an experience would leave you feeling so afraid. Please know that you don't have to sit with this alone.

It sounds like it was helpful to reach out to the mental health nurse this evening. If you're still feeling afraid and not able to reach out to your own support team, please remember that you can always call Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14.

Thank you for reaching out here. We hope that you can find some comfort in these forums.

smallwolf · ‎05-05-2021

Hi AnonymousID,

I watched (a while ago) a TV show about ptsd and the person said something triggers them and they can be transported back in time in their mind etc. I am quite sure this would be a nerve wracking experience for you. Was writing it on the forum here helpful for you? I am unsure of what you can do, but I can listen and support you in this time.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you.

AnonymousID · ‎06-05-2021

I didn’t exactly use positive methods of coping and it has made everything worse. I feel like I may have overreacted but my feelings were real at the time. Because of my actions last night I also feel bad physically now as well.

AnonymousID · ‎06-05-2021

I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m not eating, drinking water, or sleeping. I am just smoking cigarettes one after another. I kinda just want to pass out

AnonymousID · ‎14-05-2021

I’m getting sick of doctors calling me an attention seeking when I have been trying to commit suicide. I’m not going to do anything tonight, I don’t have the means. People say how my problems seem small. But they are real, they are intense to me. Plus I know they haven’t gone through the same thing so they don’t know

Sophie_M · ‎14-05-2021

Hey AnonymousID,

We're so sorry to hear that you've been feeling such intense thoughts and feelings and understand that these suicidal thoughts must be so difficult to cope with. Having doctors make such comments must be so hurtful and painful, and we are so sorry that you haven't been supported by those around you. No one should ever be made to feel like their problems aren't real, or significant, and we are so sorry that you've felt others have dismissed your problems as small without understanding the real and intense effect it has on you. Please know that our community are here for you through this, and we are also currently reaching out to you via email with some additional support. We'd urge you to keep reaching out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), who are always here for you. We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

Ggrand · ‎15-05-2021

Hello Dear AnonymousID,

Sorry your struggling so bad...No it’s not fair that the Drs are saying your attention seeking....Some Drs..Do not understand mh issues and some do....I am very grateful that my Dr. does...Is it possible for you to find another Dr..

I have PTSD and can relate to you feeling like your living through your trauma when something triggers you back to that time.....It happens to me, and has put me into hospital 3 times.....

Are you on any anti depressants?..I ask you this because even though the can take the edge of our SI thoughts...it’s not a magic pill....no anti depressants are...we still have to help ourselves...even though we don’t want to..it really is a must do...if we want to get well...

My counsellor has told me many times when I’m into a PTSD episode to tell myself...I am safe..this is not happening now...He..( my abuser) cannot hurt me anymore...and by saying these things it does help in a way...

Also dear Anonymous....even though it’s really hard to do..I try to bring me back into the now...the moment I’m living by doing some mindfulness exercises...and talking positive thoughts to myself...PTSD isn’t really a chemical imbalance...it’s caused by our trauma putting us into a flight, freeze, fight mode..that our brain is stuck in...and we have to try to retrain our brain into knowing that we are now safe...and our abusers cannot hurt us again...That’s done by positive thinking and mostly living in the moment we are living in....Distracting our brain away from the thoughts of PTSD induced downers is I find the best way to manage my mental health....

When you’re thoughts are negative ones..find something that you like doing..listening to music and singing along with it is a good way..there are so many other ways as well...Check out the thread...”Grounding ourselves what is it and how do we”..There are plenty of good suggestion in that tread...

My Kindest thoughts dear Anonymous..

Grandy..