Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

replies: 2

About 4 years ago by closest friend decided to stop talking to me, the reason has never been told then About 2 years ago I found out my husband has had many affairs. This information destroyed me and made me feel like a big chunk of my life was a lie. I however never left him. My then close friends decided to wipe their hands of me because of this. during this time 2 years ago I had suicidal thoughts. I was so depressed that I just didn’t want to be around everyone anymore. we are going on 2 years later And I have major worthless feelings about myself. I am still with my husband but everytime he gets angry at me I have these thoughts again. I’m not depressed like I was I am just not coping with the situation and I want everything to stop. tonight was one of those situations and I did something I so badly regret doing. I am safe but I feel ashamed of it. I don’t know how to stop the overwhelming feeling of being worthless in that moment. I am seeing a psychologist who has been a major help but I am ashamed to tell her this. I am so over feeling like I am alone in this world and like I am The odd one out because my brain works differently. Everyone seems to either walk out on me or hurt me. I have no friends left and I am too ashamed of myself To try and make friends as I feel they will walk out on me too. please tell me I’m not alone. If I’m not depressed then why am I having these thoughts and feelings?

Down the rabbit hole....again

replies: 5

So I'd been doing really well (for nearly 12 months) and then all of a sudden I'm struggling to stay afloat - to survive. The thoughts of harm are creeping back, I'm paranoid, overwhelmed, exhausted. In a most bizarre situation yesterday, a Manager of a drive-through store took it upon herself to verbally abuse me. There has been a bit of an ongoing minor saga over something petty - my store 'membership' number. I'd been putting it down to her having a bad time, struggling with something, etc - I don't know. Until yesterday when she went off! I've never been rude to her but she doesn't believe me that the app doesn't work on my phone. So I don't handle confrontation well and now my brain is telling me I need to harm myself - I haven't harmed myself in over 6 years but now I'm feeling on the edge. I hate that she is stuck in my head and they am doubting my own character - having lived through domestic violence, the confrontation has triggered the self-doubt and self-flagellation. Why do I always come back her?! Despite what people say, it's harder each time not easier (just because I've pulled myself out of the rabbit hole so many times before).

New here where do I start..

replies: 3

2020 was the worst year of my life. I have been separated from my son for over a year now. He is only three years old the emotional pain of being separated from him is unbearable. I managed to visit him just as COVID hit. During our time together he accidentally scratched my eye and I developed a condition called recurrent corneal erosion syndrome. It is an extremely painful condition and it ruined my life. I couldn't sleep I was in just constant physical pain on top of the emotional pain. I dealt with everything alone being separated from family and friends. That I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I couldn't work out why I felt sick all the time, and was on so much medication for pain and mental health it literally was destroying me. Then I turned to alcohol as a way to cope and that just made everything worse. I start to feel better going to all these psych appointments but i self sabotage everytime. I'm sick and tired of constantly battling. I tried failed my suicide attempt you would think that would be a wake up call and try to get my life back on track. But I'm sitting here wondering i can't even cry anymore.. I feel nothing anymore.. just emptiness and numbness. I don't know why I keep trying knowing full well I will fail again.. I feel like I will always be battling What kind of life is that. I'm 29 and I have been struggling with mental health issues my entire life. I can't remember what it means to be truly happy anymore. The person I see in old photos is dead and gone.i don't even recognise myself anymore

How to stop/hide self harm

replies: 2

Hi all, Recently I have got into self harm. I want to know if any of you guys have tips to prevent this. Everything is appreciated, so please leave tips below. But for more immediate matter, does anyone know how to hide marks on arms? It would really help me out at school. People sometimes bring it up so I try to dismiss it and/or make up lies. It would be great in the weeks to come if I could try to get out of self harm and hide my current marks. Thanks

26 year old and life filled with regrets, want to quit university

replies: 2

Hi, A bit about myself. I started out studying environmental science at university, did that for five years. I haven't made any friends since high school because of long term social anxiety and depression. I finished my Master of Environmental Science and spent a year looking for jobs with no success, so I spent most of the time working for my parents' business. Over that time I forgot almost everything I knew and I had no notes to fall back on. I eventually decided to take up a bachelor of business (accounting) and I'm in the second semester of my second year. Halfway through last semester I lost any and all interest in my subjects but I pushed through it because my parents said I would be wasting all that time if I quit then. So here I am back at uni and I feel no motivation, no energy and without the ability to study for more than 30 minutes without checking my phone or anything else just to take my mind off study. I have a work placement year starting next semester for which I will soon need start applying for and working on my resume, interviews, etc. I just hate myself for making so many stupid decisions and I just want to quit everything because the anxiety and depression is overwhelming. I have no passion for what I'm doing, I've lost interest in my hobbies and I feel like I'm only living for the sake of it. Even if I wanted to see a psychologist, the wait times are at least a month for every place I've called, many of which don't even do face to face appointments anymore. I feel I won't be able to survive that long with every day bringing non-stop stress to me thinking about assignments, tests, and my future, day and night. I wish I could keep working for my parents business and help them out that way, but the future prospects aren't looking good. Looks like I'm just going to have to live with doing a course I don't care about at all and I'm struggling to remember the material for because my memory has gotten so bad, or I try to change my study to something else and live with the guilt of having wasted 8 years of my life going nowhere. It all feels equally shitty.

Several hospitalisation questions

replies: 2

Two part post, one part relating to past experiences and the second about possible future options. A few years ago I attempted suicide in what one GP called a "near miss." I had intended to jump off a bridge but at the last second called my boyfriend for help. I've had several attempts before this one as well. After this attempt three years ago I got basically no help. I had two GPs at the same clinic who I had been seeing regularly, who were both supposed to be really good doctors and who I would see based on their availability. At the time I wasn't seeing a psychologist because mine had just retired and these two GPs just... Didn't have any recommendations for me to refer to, which was how I found all my previous ones. My question here is, why wasn't I hospitalised? I think I remember saying I didn't want to go to hospital because I'd heard some pretty scathing reviews about the mental health services in our area, but at that point I was stuck in that 24/7 suicidal mindset. I had a plan, and and attempt. I was terrified to be left alone. I don't understand why nothing was done. My second question is about how to know when to take yourself to hospital, and how that even works. Do you have to pay to go to a psych ward? I've been researching inpatient programs since the earlier incident and all of them require payment or private health insurance. Are there differences between emergency hospitals and non-emergency ones? How do you know when to check yourself in? Do they expect you to have a plan, or is just thinking a lot about hurting yourself enough? I feel like I'm stuck in this situation where I'm functional enough to survive each day, but over the past three years my mental health has deteriorated so far I feel like I can't do anything about it. I've seen counsellors and psychologists since then, but due to just a long series of unfortunate circumstances I haven't been able to see one for more than three months before the leave or the funding for their program got cut, or any other number of things. I've been referred and on a wait list for a private clinical psychologist my new, much better GP recommended for about a year, but apparently that wait list still has a few months left to go. I know this is a bit of a wall of text, so thank you for reading all the way to the end. Any advice from doctors or people who've had experiences with hospitalisation are appreciated

How do you keep going

replies: 16

I struggle with complex mental health issues. Lately its been getting worse. My days are mostly spent alone. Im not living I'm existing and I question is it worth it. I dont want to see people. I dont want to go out. I can't stand the noises around me. I'm just fed up, tired, lonely, depressed, anxious and it goes on and on. I find I am thinking more about death and dying. The end of the pain both mentally and physically. My sister-in-law committed suicide, I've seen the fallout it causes. I don't want to hurt my family, but I'm hurting so much and I just want it to stop. I've thought about talking about how I feel, but in the end I don't know how to start or what to say. I see a psych regularly, but I don't even know how to tell him. I'm on meds, I take them as prescribed. I dont like my life, I don't even like myself for having these thoughts. I struggle on little sleep and not eating right. I'm all over the place, mentally I feel exhausted, physically I feel like hell. And I don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.

Feeling lost

replies: 2

I don’t really know how to start this so I’ll just start. I have been struggling with my depression for 7 years. I only reached out for help after attempting to take my own life. I have been simultaneously taking antidepressants and seeing a psychologist for about a year and 7 months. I have had many ups and downs. Each up followed by a down that has left me feeling more devastated than the last. My last appointment was last Tuesday and I scored a 5 on the BDI. My last score was a 27. I shared that I had no suicidal thoughts or any thoughts of self harm. I was feeling normal again. I left my appointment feeling positive and hopeful. And then today, I endured one negative experience that triggered something horrible. It brought back all of the feelings of worthlessness and loneliness. It brought back the thoughts of life without me and I don’t know how to face tomorrow in this state. I don’t know how to face my psychologist because I’m afraid he will be tired of me. Is it normal to take this long to overcome these feelings? What if he gives up on me and I have no one left to believe in me?

On the Fence

replies: 10

I dont know what to do. i cant think straight and all the only thing going around and around my head is how sad i am, all the time. ive barely done any work on my assignments and prior commitments and all that because i was that confident that i was going to do it this morning. I almost did, i don't know what stopped me. this is so much worse than before, when i was so assured that id be dead soon and confident that it was the right decision, but now im not sure. i dont want to live anymore and im trying so hard to hold on but my head is chaos and i dont know what to do anymore. Im just feeling sad and i hate it and im dragging others down with me. i dont even know why im writing this when i dont really want help. i want to die but im scared. maybe i just need to talk? ive tried talking to people but its not working, i feel better for a little bit but it gets worse almost instantly, i need help

Trigger - self harm I suffer from anxiety and depression and struggle living out in the world myself and since i have started to wory about my gf

replies: 2

So my anxiety and depression keep me inside most of the time and usually that's only effected myself as I cannot live my life something I'm sure many of you are familiar with however lately my gf has been going out with freinds and she has a history of being sexually assualted so I'm very weary. When were out I steer clear of most men unless we know them and I don't let her follow random people on social media. I also don't allow her to post certain photos that may be a tiny bit on the strange side or anything that shows off her body which causes fights since she has her own mental struggles such as body dysmorpphia and claims she's just trying to be confident in herself. In the most recent incident it has driven me to self harm since the feeling that I can't do what's right for her and I can't be what she wants me to be and I irritate her and I am far too controlling and she deserves better. Which further continued the arguement since she hates when I self-harm and leaves me feeling more worthless. I know we only want what's best for eachother and I was wondering if anyone has experienced something similar before becuase I really love her and I don't wanna screw this up. Thank you much love and positivity to everyone reading this.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. replies: 2

Down the rabbit hole....again replies: 5

New here where do I start.. replies: 3

How to stop/hide self harm replies: 2

26 year old and life filled with regrets, want to quit university replies: 2

Several hospitalisation questions replies: 2

How do you keep going replies: 16

Feeling lost replies: 2

On the Fence replies: 10

*Trigger - self harm* I suffer from anxiety and depression and struggle living out in the world myself and since i have started to wory about my gf replies: 2