Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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How do I go on ??

replies: 2

My sister committed suicide in December 2019. It was devastating and I have been struggling so much & tonight I have been self harming to cope. I miss my sister so much. We were very close and I had 2 sisters. All of our lives we have been mentally abused by our "mother". She is a narcissistic and controlling witch who drove a wedge between each of us with a lifetime of lies. I have only just been back in touch with my younger sister after 15 years due to the lies our "mother" created. But when we fell into each others embrace, this January, we went straight back to that beautiful, close sisterly bond we have always had. It took the death of our beautiful sister to bring us together but I know she would be so happy that us "stupid bitches' are talking again. That's how we roll. My ex husband died 2 months before my sister and that was difficult to accept too as even though we were divorced, we were still very close. Now I am alone except for my two little dogs and I feel like my time is coming to an end. Being back in touch with my younger sister is wonderful and I love her so much but she has her own family to care for, she can't take me on as well, even though I know she is very worried about me. I just feel like life is not worth it anymore. My two fur babies keep me going and give me my ONLY reason to wake up each day. Sorry if I have said to much here. Just sitting here crying and listening to songs that have so much emotion behind them as I remember my sister. I don't know why I am posting this.......loneliness, desperation, sadness, devastation & wishing I could phone my sister just one more time to tell her how much I love her.

Why does Australia cease basically all online help at midnight? Poeple stop having problems at that time?

replies: 6

Apologies for all the typos, I’m shaking so badly my fingers are bouncing all over the keyboard. I’m sure there are people willing to text chat at 2am, but I’ve been scouring the web for days, and nothing. I can’t do phone due to crippling social anxiety. I’m under immense emotional/psychological stress from housemates. One is my just-ex of a 15 year relationship, and she knows ever tiny weakness I have, and she’s using them to shred me, (i have several mental ilnesses) I’ve had a box cutter shoved in my face (by her older son by previous marriage) cliched shaved head, works out, nazi tatoos and (supposedly) ceased long term ice habit, who told me ‘I’ll cut you*. I managed a trip to the polie station today with the help of an innaporpriate amount of benzos. One officer was nice, one not ( they play good cop bad cop with victims now?) I was unwilling to get an intervention order,because this guy is not sane, I’ve been around enound to see it make things worse as much as better, even the officer said, at the end of the day, it’s only a piece of paper. Anyway after after i left the station, for whatever bizzarre reason, they decided that the son, being the physical threat, might benefit from a call to his mother, explaining i had concerns. I might be guessing, but i would think that’s illegal, or at least malpractice. As you might have guessed, this helped like dropping a nuke on it, except it didn’t end the war, it made it nuculear war. I don’t get angry or violent. Not that i don’t want to , but any confrontation and my axiety basically makes me shake so hard i can’t hold up a cup. I can’t find any live chat help, especially re: emergency housing, or social housing anytime in the next ...years (i’m on a disability pension). The couple i did see on a page cost $350 A WEEK for a small 2 bedroom unit. I’m currently paying $290/fnght for a 3 bedroom house. anyway, almost emergency housing type things want a police report, ive gone to crazy lengths to avoid that, as all my ex wanted for years was to be reunited with her son. I don’t care emotionally much anymore, but they are still people, and I’m not an complete asshole. but i’m losing it fast, i need to talk to someone, i need to get out of here, and i can’t find ..much at all, the housing web pages are horrible loops that go nowhere, and due to cicumstances i can’t really chat before midnight,when everything closes. any online live help, advice, links, etc, much appreciated. Thanks.!

Newbie

replies: 3

Hi I’m new here and I have not had a good year. I recently received bad news that has sent me over the edge.

Hypochondriac?

replies: 2

Hi, just joined the forums trying to get some help as I’ve struggled with this for probably over 10 years, recently gotten a lot worst. I have always been concerned about my health. Convinced myself I’ve had every disease possible. However recently I had a massage after the massage I convinced myself that if the masseuse had blood on her hands/fingers and the blood got into me I contracted hiv. I have put my life on hold whilst waiting to get tested (6weeks) some people call me delusional and I wonder if I am, is this just a fear or am I actually psychotic? i get to the point some days where I just think ending it would be so much easier then dealing with the constant thought process. I can never find a doctor who can help or find any treatment as for me I believe 100% atm that I have hiv

When all is lost....what can you do? Be radical (Part 2)

replies: 18

In part 1 I raised the notion of being radical, indeed any action at all, in avoiding suicidal thoughts or plans. It is 24 years ago I made my one and only attempt on my life, one of my siblings suicided as did an uncle and my sister had an attempt as well. I recall vividly that I had zero vision of anything other than escape. Now, much wiser, more aware and in 2008 a diagnosis of bipolar I’m able to see the warning signs. But there is two assets I possess that will guarantee I will never fall into that well again, they are- 1/ Positive thinking. I’ve attended motivation lectures, read books on how to transform from negative thinking to positive etc. Positive thinking won’t prevent depressive cycles but will help you kick start your life when coming out of those periods. Being a positive person makes recognising negative people easy and one feels sorry for these sad souls that simply don’t enjoy life. 2/ A safety plan. Your own safety plan can be as simply as being radical in actions providing of course you let loved ones know you are ok. A change of immediate environment is a good concept. A walk or if you are ok to do so, a drive to a beach or attend a movie. It’s all about having faith things are bad for a short time only. Once you’ve accepted same and your depressive cycle begins (or triggers), then you’ll be aware of such steps so you can avoid the suicidal path. All this seems ..well, logical but we aren’t logical when on the way to self harm. Now, imagine you are stranded in a small island alone. What would you do in the first 48 hours? Write SOS with rocks on a beach? Make shelter? Find water, food etc. That’s logical yes? Then such survival instincts are automatic- but instincts are absent in us when we are deeply depressed hence the need for a plan. What do you think? Do you have a plan? Does it include important contacts like lifeline, Dads in distress or Beyondblue? Or is it worth avoidance strategies as I’ve mentioned? TonyWK

So sad, then invincible, then sad again

replies: 3

Hi I’m here because I wanted to end my life today. I’m 49, female with no significant other. I work hard every day alone so I have a lot of thinking time. I’m in sales and drive a lot then pretend I’m happy to my customers. I come home and have no one to really digest my day with. So my wounds, faults, errors and failures just process to the next day. Im scared of life. But what scares me more is that I don’t feel happiness anymore. Most people would say I have the most beautiful smile, but I don’t feel it. I’ve lost my personality, I’ve lost me. So saying that, I don’t want to be alone anymore, but am so broken nobody will ever want me. So that puts me in a terrible predicament and gives me no reason to keep going. I want someone to just be there and hold me. Tell me everything is going to be ok and we can do this together. But that’s just a fantasy that will never come true. I just want to be heard and understood. One day I’m just going to end my pain. I don’t want to be that girl that gets ignored because she is too much, or too boring, or not the one for me. I just want to feel like I have a safe, loving place to call home. I don’t know if I’m fixable. I don’t want to be old, alone and miserable anymore. I just don’t know.

Not sure

replies: 2

Not really sure what to ask but I guess i just want to know if I'm 'normal'. I've read all the 'signs' and they're very much about seeing this and hearing that. I'm a very outgoing person and would never let people know I'm struggling. But inside it's a bit of a mess. I don't feel like I fit in a category and I don't know who to talk to. I guess I just want to know that if I don't meet all the 'normal sign's' of someone I.e talking about it, trying it, etc does that make it different? Does it make it less real?

Nothing good has happened for 2 years and I’m done

replies: 63

Hi, since finding out my husband of 12 years cheated & lied to me for the whole relationship yet portraying himself as a champion of women & a totally devoted empathetic husband my life has gone from one disaster after another. My 21 year old son had seizures & was in icu in feb. Unknown cause & he still can’t drive, still going for lots of tests & specialist appts, my 2 cats died in the last 6 months. I had to put my beloved horse down last Friday. My job ends in 2 weeks & I don’t have another. And my now ex is being horrendous about the property settlement. I’ve had to hire a lawyer at $500 an hour to even get just 50% which the ex is only conceding to give me 44%. That’s the measure of his fake remorse. They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Bullshit. There’s only so much you can take before your permanently damaged. I had an ultrasound to check a cyst yesterday & was disappointed to learn the cyst has shrunk. Ovarian cancer would have been a graceful way out of the shitstorm that is my life.

Work related

replies: 4

I’m not gonna lie . I never thought I’d be here . But I suppose I should start , a week ago , there where some pretty shitty rumors spread around my Workplace that revolved me and another female co worker, and i don’t know what to do . It’s gotten to the point where I’m really messed up . I don’t want to go to work because it seems that everyone just looks at me and starts more shit . I have been thinking of it , It being suicide . I just want things to stop , I hate feeling like absolute shit . I hate the feeling of people staring at me and I have people thinking something I’m not . So idk what to do , I don’t know if I should just say screw it and quit work or go on a stress leave for like a month or just ending it . I came really close two days ago . I kept getting msgs and I was pretty much on the verge of it . I wanted it to end right then and there . I want it to stop but I don’t know what I can do .

I am trapped inside a box with no way out

replies: 2

I was diagnosed with MDD and GAD roughly eight years ago during middle school. I have been to 10 or so psychologists in my lifetime and have struggled to connect with them; much life other people. I feel that my interests and values are too esoteric from the norm for someone my age (M/23). I experienced by first relationship in 2018 but due to the impact of my antidepressants I was unable to fully connect to them due to sexual dysfunction (caused by the medication). I have trialed six or so antidepressants to try to find one that doesn't have those side effects and helps me to feel more stable, but my psychiatrist wants me to continue on these ones for another month to see if they get better. The problem is that I will never accept them even if they help me feel better as I will always be missing a part of me that helps me to connect to a future partner. I have violent mood swings where I enter a deep depression and say hurtful things to my family. I think that I'm punishing myself by trying to push them away further and further. My psychiatrist offered a plan b if the current antidepressant won't work and that is to consider mood stabilisers. Since I learnt about them, I have been obsessed to read about them and I have absorbed multiple journals of information about their efficacy and lack of sexual side effects. I really don't know what to do because I emailed my psychiatrist to ask if I can consider jumping straight to the stabilisers but I haven't heard anything. I just really want to feel some relief and stability and I feel this is something I can only achieve with a more powerful medication. I don't have many options except go to the hospital or call 000. I have a psychology session coming up, but I really struggle to connect with others so I am not sure how it will go. Meanwhile, I was prescribed some muscle relaxants to take when the anxiety consumes me. I have been limiting them to two a day. One when I wake up so I can cope with work, and one when I go to bed at 6. I don't know how I can have a normal life. I fantasize about the life I could have the how I could be happy (I nearly have enough money to buy a house, but it becomes worth pushing through less and less each day). - Justin

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

How do I go on ?? replies: 2

Why does Australia cease basically all online help at midnight? Poeple stop having problems at that time? replies: 6

Newbie replies: 3

Hypochondriac? replies: 2

When all is lost....what can you do? Be radical (Part 2) replies: 18

So sad, then invincible, then sad again replies: 3

Not sure replies: 2

Nothing good has happened for 2 years and I’m done replies: 63

Work related replies: 4

I am trapped inside a box with no way out replies: 2