Sick and tired of being sick
Hello. I'm battling multiple auto immune diseases along with chronic pain. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired; physically, mentally, emotionally and financially etc. I've got no partner, kids or family around. And very few real friends that actually bother to check in on me. My shrink retired earlier in the year. I'm on medication but lately my health has once again deteriorated. Including over $2500 worth of urgent dental work with more needed afterwards.
I can't take much more of this. I spoke with a close friend the other day; who I haven't seen for 8 months and although he was kind enough to let me pour my heart out. He couldn't help me. And has other priorities. I feel as though everyone thinks I'm ok.. because I've been through so much that I'll get through this.
I just want it to end. I'm tired of struggling. Every. Single. Day.
I don't want to live like this anymore.
Thank you for continuing in being part of our forums and checking in back with us. Sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you and that you are going through tough times. Just a reminder if you ever want further support you can reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14 as well as chat to Lifeline on https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat.
Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.
Got to bed at 630am instead. Was supposed to get up at 10am. Alarm went off... I closed my eyes and it was 130pm. So I missed my appointment with my GP. Have to travel tomorrow morning 2 hours by train to go to a hospital for pre admission testing for next surgery. Have to be on a train by about 7am. Not sure how I'm going to manage when I'm barely functioning at all.
I am really sorry to hear how much you are still struggling. Its awful that your physical health and fatigue are gettingin the way of you getting help, it all sounds very frustrating. I hope you can get some rest today and can reschedule the appointment.
I hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
If you are feeling low today I would highly suggest speaking to a counsellor on one of those services, its not nice feeling alone in all of this.
Im deeply sorry to hear of your struggling your having to deal with...
I don’t have auto immune disease, but I can hear the pain, hurt and frustration in your posts....I’m sorry that I can’t give you much support along that area...but if it’s okay with you, I would like to be here for you as a listening heart, and hopeful that you would like to chat to me, as I also live alone, I’m 64 and at times the loneliness overwhelms me...
Do you have any pets, I have 2 little dogs, and just inherited a small Quarrien (small bird)...They can give me reason to continue in this universe at times...How about hobbies that you like to do..I try hard to do things..I can start something that I want to do..but alas I never finish..
I am a binge eater, but only when I’m down or can’t sleep...Having no one here with me to give me a cuddle, I head for the cupboard or fridge...I know it’s not good for me..but it does comfort me..until I realise what I’m doing then I go down on me...promise myself I won’t binge again...but promises to myself are breakable...
Im sorry Bbydoll, my post is just a lot of small insignificant talking...I really wanted to let you know that I’ve been listening, but held back posting because I can’t offer you advice on your physical self....and to let you know that I do care, and wish so much that things will eventually become easier for you to manage...and I would love to get to know you better...you sound like a beautiful person who is hurting so much, and would like to be here for you, if you need to chat...
Sending my love, my care and some lovely bear hugs to you..I know that the hugs are not real ones to be felt physically, they do come from my soul and hope you can feel them...If I was with you in r/l..I certainly would be giving you a hug..🧸🤗..
Look after you beautiful lady...your important, even if you don’t think so, you really are..
I slept for about 7 hours but my health is giving me problems and I'm in physical pain; along with the mental pain tonight. I'm roasting up some veggies in the oven at the moment to nibble on later in the week. I also have frozen up some chicken and vegetable soup into individual servings. I did a big shop and had it delivered before the restrictions - in the hope of eating better. Plus I'm going to have about $40 to live off next fortnight after paying off several over due bills.
Grandy; thank you for your kind words and hugs. I don't have any pets. But would love a dog. Unfortunately I'm in and out of hospital quite a bit and it wouldn't be unfair on them, if I got one. I usually enjoy doing arts and craft type projects. Or listening to music. But even that's not enjoyable at the moment.
I did reach out to a friend who also suffers from depression; thinking she'd understand or at the very least let me talk to her. But she always ends up telling me her problems instead of just letting me vent mine. There's only one friend that truly is kind enough and supportive enough for me; but his wife doesn't like me hanging out with him because we are close and I'm sure that she feels threatend by this despite the fact he told her that I'm struggling with my health at present.
Its hard to find things that we enjoy doing when we are down or in pain...I’m so sorry that you’re hurting so much...
I have started so many craft projects, then because I can’t enjoy them, placed them in my spare room..I often say to myself that one day I’ll finish them all..I did complete a life size stuffed doll...that sits in my dining room..gathering dust now..😂..
My choice of music is stuck in the 60s/70s..pop rock/blues...I don’t listen much to music..although I do love lighting my scented candles and putting on a peaceful instrumental while I watch them...the flames can become very mesmerising...I light 8 at a time...all different shapes, sizes and scents...Do you like candles?...
I am sorry your kind friends wife doesn’t like you hanging out with him...and your other friend doesn’t really listen with care when your trying to get the bads out of your thoughts...Please sweetheart..I know it’s not the same as in real life..This is a great place to vent out your feelings, thoughts and how you’re feeling, when you need to..I usually do..I have rung BB helpline as well and they are really very caring people..If you need to voice your thoughts out loud...
I hope today for you was better then yesterday...
sending you my love, care and hugs..💜🦋🤗..
Here for you lovely Bbydoll....
Another day slept away. I'm in (physical) pain and not well with my health tonight. I want to watch Mean girls on tv (movie); but think I'm better off going back to bed. My brother and his family maybe popping by tomorrow because they're looking for a new rental. I actually would prefer not to see them as I don't feel up to visitors. If I tell them that I'm struggling with my health; they see it as me complaining about it. So it's better just to say nothing at all.
Hi Grandy; can't really have candles here, as I'm in an apartment building and risk setting off the fire alarm. Today was pretty much the same as yesterday. But I'm dealing with health issues as well as mental health issues and both together are draining in every sense of the word. Hope you have a lovely night... but I'm headed back to bed.
For some people when they ask me how I am, my reply is the "depends what answer you want".
But it is frustrating when those close to you don't really care (?) how you are feeling or think you are whinging. And honestly, I am like when it comes to my brother - I don't really tell him how I am, and he has also said he is rather self-centered so there is little gained in me speaking the truth.
A year or two ago, I bailed on 2 meetings as I was not in the mood and feeling sorry for myself. When I went to my a psych next time I mentioned what happened. They suggested that I attended those meetings as it would have been a distraction from how I was feeling. It is difficult to do the opposite of what our mind tells us to do.
Sending positive thoughts to you