robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

[britishtvfan]

hi everyone. i hope i posted this in the correct thread, i wasn't sure where to post it.

i'm tayla, i used to be mb20lover, but i thought it would be best to make a new account and start fresh. i'm 22 by the way. i couldn't think of a different username, so i thought this one would do.

i have missed everyone i have interacted with somehow, and i hope i can try to support others aswell as hopefully getting support for myself, and interacting with people i have in the past, and new people.

i hope everyone had a merry christmas and happy new year.

- tayla (used to be mb20lover).

[britishtvfan]

i am sorry if i seem blunt & not interested in the replies here, i am. i do appreciate it. i'm sorry if i didn't seem appreciative. i was thinking of maybe looking at that website, efriend or something, to see if that could be a possibility. maybe joining another forum similar to this again. idk if i'll contact a helpline, i've had bad experiences (this isn't to stop anyone else using them, this has just been my unfortunate experiences). i'm trying to find other people, trying to make this girl forgive me. i understand i made a mistake, i feel really guilty. i should've kept it to myself. i have said this to her. i didn't think. it's all my fault. there was a chatting app/website that i was on before i joined here again, but i found it very toxic. they had chats for mental health with certain rules, etc. like blocking out triggering words, etc etc. i was thinking of maybe joining that again but i'd be triggered & the same stuff would probably happen again. does anyone know of any other social media to make friends? i have instagram but don't post, just joined to look at posts from others. i have facebook that i use the most, & this forum of course. also tumblr, not that people really talk to me there. i just reblog stuff on tumblr. that's all i have. i'm not into snapchat or whatsapp or any of those.

[britishtvfan]

it's fine sleepy, i know you meant well. it's just a preference of mine, that's all. but i also don't talk to anyone for a while & have time to myself.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tayla
 
I’m from a different generation to you and unfortunately do not know of any social media sites for making friends.
 
The mum in me wants to encourage you to take a break from social media given the significant adverse impact of your experiences on your mental health.
 
Now, I know you don’t want to do that. I respect your decision but don’t fully understand it.  Your goal is to make friends yet the way you’re approaching it literally ends up putting your life in danger. That’s clearly unhealthy.
 
I think it’s important to talk this issue through with your mental health practitioner. It’s important to your safety, mental health and future.
 
I’d also like to reassure you that your posts are fine with me, not too blunt etc. I enjoy chatting with you.
 
Do you have a daily practice to help with your mental health? I hope so. And I hope you have a better day today.
 
Kind thoughts to you

[britishtvfan]

hi summer. i have tried to take breaks from social media but i just get bored too easily. when i'm in my bedroom of a night i do though, just watch videos. and no i don't have any daily practice.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tayla

It is very admirable for you to have tried to take a break from social media in the past. I know it’s hard, particularly for a young person.

Sounds like any potential future success will depend on easing your boredom.

Do you have any interest in art? Any kind of creativity? I suggest it as my daughter is constantly drawing, painting and doing crafts in her room.

It seems to be a great outlet for pain and helps to balance her sorrow about having to live with OCD with some joy. It’s good for her mental health too.

Sport or exercise is also fantastic. Walking, skateboarding, cycling, swimming, running, etc will all be good for your mental and physical health and give you something to do.

I really like to read, do you? I’m never bored when I have a book (you can teach yourself anything!) and I read every night. As long as there’s a library in town, it’s free too 🙂

I love writing and words so creative writing is a pleasure of mine. I always have a project on the go. Could you give that a go?

Puzzles, gardening and listening to music are also good to ways to keep busy. Oh, and cooking believe it or not. Maybe you could ask mum or dad if they could teach you or if you already know you could cook dinner one night.

If any of these ideas appeal, maybe you could put your toe in the water again. Swap half an hour of social media time with something else tomorrow and just see how it feels. How does that sound?

There’s no pressure. I know you have a lot on your plate just getting through right now. These are just ideas to ease your boredom if you’re interested.

Kind thoughts to you

[britishtvfan]

sometimes online friendships can be good. i've never had a friend in person really. yeah i've hung out with people but i just didn't belong. as i have mentioned many times, there is nowhere for me to meet people where i live. even if i was doing something, i would still struggle. i have a couple of people i know in person that i don't really talk to. some people i've been talking to on facebook and tumblr who like some of the things i do, who are nice.

like i've mentioned, i see your point, but i really have no other choice. i do have time to myself aswell when i watch videos, like TV shows or music related things. i have moments when i don't talk to anyone too. it's not that i'm not listening to your advice & seeing things from your POV, i do, it's just that talking to people online is my only option. i have tried everything else i possibly can my whole life.

my parents know i talk to people online, they're fine with it, they want me to be careful which of course i always am. if someone is rude or something then i block them.

yes i walk daily. i'm not a creative person, but i write sometimes. used to read a lot but just lost interest. i have a few books i should read so i guess perhaps i could force myself to read again, and perhaps colour in again. colouring in may sound stupid but i found it somewhat relaxing and calming.

i used to play wordsearch games on my iPad and colour by numbers but the apps kept lagging so i deleted those, or sometimes quizzes on a website.

i have tried to go off social media, i will try a bit harder. i did deactivate my facebook account for a year or so a couple years back, it was a bit refreshing but also said because without sounding selfish and attention seeking, no one cared, noticed or tried to see how i was. but i suppose they didn't have any way of doing so.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tayla

Walking daily is great, good for the body and mind. Keep that going!

It can also be social.You will no doubt see other people on your walks. Smile, say hello and make the most of these small interactions. They feel good in the moment and can grow over time (eg walking throughout Covid lockdowns in my neighbourhood gave me the chance to get to know a lot of my neighbours).

Some people may look at you like you’re from Mars and that’s okay, just keep going. Others will respond kindly and be grateful for your gesture. If your town has walking or hiking groups, perhaps you could think also think about joining.

Love that you do colouring in. And it sounds like it’s good for you. Definitely a good idea to reignite that interest.

If you feel you have to force yourself to read perhaps give it a go and then reassess. If it’s not for you that’s fine. I thought of it because libraries and most communities have book clubs, which open up another social circle to you.

I was really happy to read that you’re going to try again to reduce your social media time. I think that’s smart, Tayla. Proud of you.

Kind thoughts to you

[britishtvfan]

yeah i've had traumatic experiences with headspace.

i wish i had just 1 friend too but sadly i never have, i guess i never will either.

yes i do see people but they just ignore me if i smile and say hello, that's the type of people in this crappy town, so. nice scenery, peaceful, nice bird life, but that's about all that i find good here.

yeah i will try to work on taking time away from social media & reading or something.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I think you are going to maby do something out of your comfort zone.It is a part of our lives to do things we are scared of doing.But maby doing something different could have some good changes out of it.I have seen this with my daughter how something she was scared of doing has improved her self esteem.Her life is changing direction and I can see the improvement in her.Just something to think about Tayla.

Take care,

Mark.

[britishtvfan]

well, good news. the girl who blocked me unblocked me, messaged me on facebook earlier. says she has covid, her son was being bullied & his girlfriend broke up with him so that's why she snapped. i appreciate her apology & messaging & unblocking me but that still annoyed me, it's not my fault. but then again i suppose we've all snapped at someone over something that isn't their fault. she apologised & sounded genuine about it. i said i'll give her space since she's unwell & not up to talking anyway. seems like we're friends & can put it behind us. i'm just really sensitive & get upset over everything. & in terms of looking for stuff online, i'll keep doing my research for online therapy or something like that. thanks for the suggestions.