Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Existing is pain

replies: 2

Ive never been to great at expressing my feelings or talking about difficult topics so here goes. I wake up almost everyday just wishing i could die it never ussd to be like this say 2-3yrs ago 2019 was i think the best year ive had in a long time, i was working, doing things with my best friend tahlia, my family situation wasnt that bad and i was genuinely happy. After i lost my job its just been this crazy downhill spiral that im desperately trying to pull myself put of but it feels like all my attemps to better myself have backfired hell i dont even know if they have been attemps to help myself or just to set myself up for failure. Losing tahlia cut me deep and its my own fault i pushed her away but i felt we were both pushing each other away. Its only been a year since we officially stopped talking and it kills me i feel like im decaying from the inside out, she was my only friend at the time and since our fallout ive had literally no one ive made no new mates. No one checks up on me nor do they care about my feelings. So yeah after 2019 life was horrid. My mother was actively using meth/ice whatever with her brother he came to live with us. it went on like this until earlier this year. we had to deal with her psychotic outbursts and my uncle when he had nothing and was coming down it was hell at home us girls would get verbally abused by him. Hes been in jail most of his life and came to fuck ours over like i didnt even know what he looked like until i was 16 or so and he just got out of jail and started intoxicating our life. Arguments at home between me and mum got worse thats when i started hitting myself in the head and i havent stopped since when i feel this pent up anger or mums on one of her rages where shes constantly yelling feels like hours and sometimes they are and its so draining listening to her put us down 24/6 and then for a small period shes all lovey dovey you girls know i love you i dont mean any of the things i say you girls know that right. No we dont. its just constant pain is all i feel and its from the people around me and myself i think i hurt myself the most but i dont know how like maybe im in denial or something but i do hurt myself and i take almost everything out on myself. I dont even know why i typed this but i think just having someone acknowledge this it would feel like talking to someone about everything i havent been able to tell anyone all this time i dont even feel better after this.

Just feeling lost

replies: 2

I’m just feeling lost… I’m a disabled veteran from a deployment gone bad. Lately I’ve been trying to lose weight with the intentions of a stomach sleeve in 2 weeks, so I have to stick to the shake only diet and it’s just draining me and has me completely stressed because if I don’t lose 20kgs within the 3 week period the shake diet would be increased to another 4 weeks because the surgeon was just blunt about it. Lose 20kgs or no second appointment needed. $28k of his potential income… yet girls I know have said he didn’t even expect any loss on the diet just sticking to it as best they could… I don’t know if it was just a scare tactic to make me stay on the right track but I’ve been feeling extremely down and thinking to give up. I hate the way I look, the way I feel and the pain I’m always in. I used to be a bodybuilder and loved my strict dieting with long gym sessions, had abs at 120kg but this just feels like I’ll be given the bad news at the next weigh in and I don’t think I’ll take it well. I’m meant to have 3 shakes a day and been starving myself with just having 2 and some days only 1… it’s just self destructive because it’s all a gamble if I hit the 20Kg goal or not

Workplace PTSD

replies: 4

It’s just over 2 years I made that decision to give first aid to 2 people that had been in a violent situation, I was at work but not work. I didn’t get much support from that and worked on, my symptoms started but I guess crap happens. Seven months later I then had another violent situation at work. All that was asked, was I got clearance for my controlled epilepsy. I stopped work then. I have experienced abuse many times in my career but this one got me. I got 6 months and told to go back, my doctor told me I’d get sacked if I didn’t, so I asked for meds and went. It wasn’t fun. Anxiety, attacks, think of all the symptoms. I got told the incident was nothing by a psychiatrist. Then I was told there was no where for me and I’d had enough, I refused to do anymore, my family were suffering. I was too. So I lost all workcover payment. I also got told my memory loss was because of that controlled epilepsy I have. On to income protection, which we are now fighting for, 7 months no money and about one hour ago I had to tell my daughters I’m a useless piece of crap who has to sell our home to survive, Centrelink won’t touch me as I have case in and income protection still pending. My daughters told me to get a job, I can barely make it through a day. I’m not even sure now which is more traumatic in some respects, the actual incidents or losing my children’s respect. I knew I’d lost most of it already but this finished it. I don’t really care about my home in all honesty, just my girls and I just can’t see any light here. I’ve always seen light before, you do this and this, eventually this will work out but I just don’t know here. I feel so, so alone. I don’t want to die, but that’s all I think about now. The glass between everyone and myself just seems so thick and I hate listening to myself. The nightmares are returning and so are headaches which I thought were controlled with medication. No one seems to be able to help and I don’t even know what that help is supposed to look like. I’m extremely scared. Oh so scared and it’s a shitty thing to say but I wish id ignored the violent situation and just kept working. I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’m faking this but honestly, I know one WPHS officer told me she has friends who have been in mental health units and I haven’t so I’ll be ok. But I can’t go there. I’m a single mum with girls who really have no one else and I don’t have that option.

Hurtful mind games from ex gf

replies: 5

Hi all, I’m new here but unfortunately not new to depression. It’s been a long tiring 18 years since it started. I came home after working away in The Kimberley and my daughter of 18 months, son of 6 months and their mother were gone and I had no idea where they were. Bags and boxes were packed in the lounge room with a note simply saying, please take to such and such transport yard. That started a very tough fight for not only my survival, but for the proper upbringing and education I wanted for my kids. 3 years in court going for full custody, and looking at getting it, I found out I wasn’t the biological father of my daughter. She was 4 & half yrs old and within a week her mother told her. I had NO legal right to see her again and as I was paying child support at an unbelievable amount, ( more than my mortgage) I got very little back. anyway it was never about money at all. I fought to protect 2 innocent children that I loved dearly. anyway 2 weeks ago my ex girlfriend was in town ( not the mother of my son by the way) and she came around. I absolutely loved seeing her as I’ve really been struggling the last few months and I’ve been alone and lonely as I moved to a new state. 1 thing led to another and we got close again. It felt so normal and felt to me as we had never broken up. Then she started an argument because I assumed she’d stay the night and I’d taken Monday off work to spend with her. Once again she got upset coz I was disappointed and she stormed out. Never saw her again and didn’t say goodbye when she flew back to my home town in NT that she moved to with her mum when she left me. Then she proceeded to play mind games with me over the next 10 days. Making me feel like she wanted to try again, saying all the things I wanted to hear etc etc. Thursday all was good when I text her to let her know I had a surprise for her. She straight away called to tell me she thought we were not on same page. Even though I’d asked her 3 or 4 times if she was on same page as me. She wanted to know what I wanted and how I felt about her. I told her openly and honestly as normal and she bluntly told me she didn’t want to get back together. After 2 weeks of loving texts etc she told me we were mates and she was on my cheer squad encouraging me due to my depression. That did my head in and I rang to talk to her and she blamed me for upsetting her and told me I hadn’t changed one bit. Last night I wanted to end my life. I just wanted her love back.

Staying Alive because I have to look after my child

replies: 3

I’m constantly brought down into the depths of suicide ideation. The thing that stops me is my child. I have to look after him. But is it worse to be a parent who thinks about death every day or to not be here?

What is the real reason for life

replies: 9

If you have nothing left to look forward to, have no immediate family, have only acquaintances no friends, a job that tells you that you are stupid and replaceable, and the most important things in your life have passed on, then is it even worth bein... View more

I don’t know what else to do but vent..

replies: 2

My whole life is so boring, and it came with toxic family members and friends, I think about unaliving my self all the time but I can never do it properly so I’m stuck with the guilt about worrying my online friends. I want to cry so badly but I don’t want people to ask if I’m ok because I’m tired of talking and answering the same question with “yes I’m good” all the time.. im just so tired of everything, I want to scream but with no one to hear me. Other people probably have it worse then me so I don’t want to be selfish and just talk about my feelings- and that’s what usually happens so I have to keep to myself, what makes it worse is,, I’m the therapist friend to a few online friends when I’m not stable enough to deal with it.. this doesn’t make me selfish right?.. And I’m not even motivated enough to get up and lose some weight and take care of myself anymore, I don’t want a therapist because I’m afraid that if I say “too much” they’ll take me somewhere where I won’t be able to do anything anymore, im not sure what else to say so this was just a quick vent- N0vaaa.

I feel like I'm drowning with no way out

replies: 3

For years I have struggled with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, self harm, suicidal ideation and last year diagnosed with EUPD (aka Borderline Personality Disorder - so I was told by a new psychiatrist). In the last 4 months I have severely struggled and am now facing the realisation that I am the toxic one in my relationship with my partner whom I've been with for 16years and have 2 young children with. I feel so guilty because of the way my illness has affected my family. My eldest mimics my behaviours when she is emotionally distressed. My partner has said he "can't go through it again" and I'm scared of hurting my youngest. I feel I'm causing more harm then good by being here, and have felt this way for a long time. I don't know whether seperating from my partner and leaving my children, to try and heal myself is the right choice when I don't see things getting better. I've tried different forms of therapy, ongoing counselling sessions, medication, but I just want to give up. My partner doesn't trust me with our children because I became so unwell in the past I was close to being admitted to hospital. I saw a GP yesterday (he wasn't much help) and have an appointment next week with a psychologist, I just I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I just feel so exhausted.

Not sure how long I can keep this up

replies: 8

I'm 45 years old with 2 kids middle income and contemplate suicide at least 50 to 100 times a day. Been worse in the last year, feeling hopeless, worthless, no joy and not looking forward to any future. Not sure if I'm on the right thread here but my... View more

Lost and overwhelmed with conflicting emotions

replies: 4

Hi, I feel like I need some advice with a whole range of emotions I have been feeling for the better part of a year and a half. For some background, I have been diagnosed with GAD, SAD and major depression, however, these symptoms and emotions I’m feeling feel so strong and different to ones I’ve felt before. I am so lost with who I am. I don’t know who I am anymore. I have moulded myself into someone who is different with every person I’m with and I don’t know who I am when I’m alone. When I am alone, I’m a mess. I’m anxious, irritable, empty, bored and become angry and frustrated for no particular reason and as such, create problems that don’t exist and take my anger out on my loved ones. I lash our for no reason and say nasty things to people and within 1 hour I regret and have no idea why I’ve been so awful. I’m impulsive and buy things I don’t need, I cut my hair, I drink excessive amounts of alcohol and get ear piercings and tattoos. I can be suicidal and self harm and the next day don’t understand why. I feel ugly, worthless, empty and hate everything about myself. On the flip side, I’m ecstatic. I love myself, almost narcissistic. I think I’m amazing, beautiful and like I am better than everyone else. I’m on top of the world. Sometimes, I feel like there is no in between these emotions. They fluctuate so much and it’s exhausting. I still experience anxiety and panic attacks and they have evolved into hurting myself in order to try and manage them. I feel derealisation and detached from my body and the anger later ensues. I have lost complete control over regulating my emotions and it’s now impacting on my family and relationships. I’ve tried to get help but every psychologist I’ve contacted is not accepting new patients. I’m not a danger to anyone, I just cannot control how I feel or manage those intense emotions. Does anyone else experience these extreme mood swings while spending the “down time,” empty and angry? How do you deal with it when you don’t have professional help? I appreciate any advice. Thank you. P.S. I have seen doctors and psychologists in the past, as well as a psychiatric doctor in hospital but only for GAD and depression, not these symptoms.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Existing is pain replies: 2

Just feeling lost replies: 2

Workplace PTSD replies: 4

Hurtful mind games from ex gf replies: 5

Staying Alive because I have to look after my child replies: 3

What is the real reason for life replies: 9

I don’t know what else to do but vent.. replies: 2

I feel like I'm drowning with no way out replies: 3

Not sure how long I can keep this up replies: 8

Lost and overwhelmed with conflicting emotions replies: 4