Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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One decision screwed my life

replies: 1

I was living a good Australian life after migrating, good job, got residency everything was perfect. My Marriage got fixed, however just before marriage fell in love with another girl, I know I was wrong. Due to society pressure did not broke the marriage and got married. However was not happy, sponsored the girl to Australia, I was unable to live with her. Told her the truth, she said she understands, then went to court and put domestic violence case against me as that will assure her residency. Blind in love, I said I do not care. Started living with my gf. She was nice. I had fun with her, suddenly after my divorce ,she changed and started behaving bossy. Its 2 years now and I am regretting my decision. Want to go back to my wife, but unsure how will she take it and to be honest I am more ashamed. I wish I die, thought of killing myself, tried once unsuccessfully, dont have courage to do it again . I feel i am the most baddest person and karma is hitting me hard. Dont know what to do, no one to blame but me. Everyday i cry, just stay in bed, my work is affected, I pray to god before sleeping that I should not wake up tomorrow. I dont know what to do, my head is always heavy, I feel like a loser.

I feel I have failed

replies: 3

Hi All - I have almost reached 10 months of beating an alcohol addiction. 6 months ago, I stopped taking my antidepressant SSRI (with doctor knowledge & approval). I felt so proud of myself being completely drug & alcohol-free. But after 3 months of no medication, my anxiety started creeping back to the point where it is now affecting every part of my life. I’m back to suicidal ideation. So I took my first tablet again last night & all I want to do today is cry. I feel that I tried to be a “normal” person but failed. I feel so miserable. I know it is my depression talking, but I feel powerless to fight it atm. I have a really good life & am so blessed. So guilt over being sad all the time is making it even worse. So here I am

Aftermath

replies: 1

Just some questions. What happens to those who provide care and support, afterwards? Are they given adequate support and care themselves? How long would it take for a counsellor or psychologist to, in a way, forget a patient they have treated frequently over several months? Do you think they still think about patients even after they stop treating them for awhile? Surely they would maintain a professional distance, no matter how invested they are, do you think they can be emotionally attached to their patient even though it should not be the case? and in a way that they may be irrevocably altered should something happen? I think they may feel a sense of failure, or guilt over what they may have missed, or may have done wrong, I suppose as anyone who knew the person would, even if they were told that it was not their fault.

Hi

replies: 7

Hi, this is my first time here. I don't really know how everything works but I think this might help me. I've been having off and on phases of suicidal thoughts, last time was last lockdown. I've got a lot happening around me lately and I just want t... View more

LGBT support

replies: 1

Hello, I need support please. I don’t know who to contact as I wont be able to see my therapist for a while. I’m unsure who to message for support who can relate to complex trauma and trans and won’t trigger me.

Look who's inside again, BPD & Depression

replies: 3

I'm inside my own head and it's awful. How can it be so quiet but so loud at the same time. I'm running on autopilot just trying to keep everything going. I don't even want to exist but everyone always wants something from me and I have to struggle to keep my head above water. I just hate being me. I hate everything about myself. It's getting harder and harder to go on. My mind and my body are always working against me. I want to stop looking and feeling like this huge gelatinous blob. Just turned 23. Wasn't planning on getting this far. A parent of two and I think they would be better without me. All I have in me goes to them, to keep them cared for. I love them but when I wonder what's keeping me here they're not the reason. I'm just a coward. Boyfriend loves me, but I can't help but want to just be alone. All my relationships are ruined somehow in the end. Made the mistake of trying to study again, the last time was a failure. Mental Health of all things. My own mental health is a mess so how am i supposed to help others? Trying to get my license, I'll probably end up driving my car off a bridge. Every time i try to do little things to improve my quality of life and make it easier, it just ends up a wreck. Nothing sticks. Taking a leap writing this thing on here. I don't know what else to do. I feel really alone even in a house full of people. Little comforts me. Counseling and therapy never helps even though that's what they all tell you do in this situation so what else am I supposed to do?

Help

replies: 180

Hi, I've been married for 36 years, I absolutely worship my wife. 3 years ago we allowed a other man I to our lives. We had a relationship that I found it exciting to watch my wife pleasured etc. Well at first it was all fun. After a while I noticed my wife changing. She started getting frustrated and shirt with me. I was too stupid to realise she had fallen in love with this other man. One day we were driving up north and she told me a big list of things I did wrong. I still didnt get it. Once we arrived we had an argument and she told me she wssnt in love with me any more but was in love with this other man. I begged her to stay with me and she did. She told me she would try in our marriage but refused to give him up. In short over the next few years she told me another 4 times she was in love with him. She also told me a number of times she would choose him over me if I made her choose. These days she tells me she loves me and isbt in love with him and it's just friendship. She cant understand why I cant just forgive and move on. Ive got depression and something like ptsd. I cant live without her, but I can see shes getting to the point of bot wanting me to stay because she cant deal with my meltdowns when I get bouts of depression. I dont know what to do. I seriously wish I would just have a heart attack and die, trouble is I believe in afterlife and csnt bear the thought of going thru eternity without her love. She tells me she loves me yet Katy night said if I have one more meltdown that will be it. I'm seriously thinking of committing suicide but if i fail she will lose all her li e for me and I'll be alive without her love, if i succeed i gotta go through eternity without her. I love her so much, I'm totally in love with her , every time I hear her voice or see her I melt. I dont know what to do

Its NOT all good

replies: 2

Hi My standard answer to my friend is "It's all good", she doesn't believe it. Honestly it is far from all good when i open up to her, i feel like a burden and the guilt is intolerable. I live rurally and mental health support is pretty much non existent. The last couple weeks the suicidal thoughts never seem to leave - i go to bed thinking about it, wake up through the night with same thoughts - i am so tired, but i am too much of a coward to see it through - i am a single mum to a 17yo daughter and i fear what it would do to her BUT i can't see a light anymore.. i know my thinking is more not that i want to die BUT i dont want to live - i don't want to hurt anymore. i have been struggling for 18months and have worn everyone down - they think because i am eating and medicated i should be fixed. And so i have this facade that is worn but its such hard work - this week it has cracked and i havent been able to go to work... How will it get better.. my friend tells me nothing changes if nothing changes.... Thanks for listening

I dont want to stop

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new here. I've been self-harming for just over a year now on and off, usually once or twice a month. Nothing that bad or dangerous. I have been seeing a psychologist since April this year. A week or two ago, she asked me "do you want to stop self-harming". And I know this sounds bad, but not really. I dont do it much and its never a dangerous thing but sometimes I feel like I dont want to stop. I wanted to ask if this is normal and how I could get out of this mindset. I mean sometimes of course I want to stop, but it feels like when things get hard or I start feeling bad again I just think like "who cares" or like "it doesn't matter".

I'm not coping with school

replies: 4

they/them TW: s//lf h//rm, s//icide I've always been a really good student, and it's the only thing I've ever prided myself on in the last couple years. I've been good at keeping up with schoolwork in COVID too, up until this last couple of lockdowns. I live in Victoria and I'm struggling so hard with this 7th lockdown - I can't bring myself to do schoolwork, and in this last 24 hours I've been in a state of crisis, crying and trying to resist the urge to start self-harming again. I've been clean for 3 months. I *have* been going for walks, which i really enjoy, but they don't really help my mental state like school tells me they will. I feel shit not only for myself, but for my family. They shouldn't have to deal with me. My mum is starting to act weird around me, and I hate feeling like I'm walking on ice constantly and it makes me guilty that I can't shut my stupid mouth and be normal. I just want everything to be normal and I feel so bad that I can't fix everything. School is killing me. I try to keep up but there's just so much, I find myself waking up to go to Webex calls and then falling back asleep in 5 minutes' time and ending up missing it. I know from experience that calling the school and explaining won't help anything, because work is the priority. I've never done drugs sadly, but school makes me feel like I'm some sort of destructive addict ruining everything for their family because their mental health is in tatters. Three times in the last 24 hours, I've been left standing by myself having absolutely no clue what to do with myself. Just standing there and sobbing. It's the first time in a long while I've considered suicide. I don't know what to do. Everything is terrifying and nothing helps me feel better.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

One decision screwed my life replies: 1

I feel I have failed replies: 3

Aftermath replies: 1

Hi replies: 7

LGBT support replies: 1

Look who's inside again, BPD & Depression replies: 3

Help replies: 180

Its NOT all good replies: 2

I dont want to stop replies: 3

I'm not coping with school replies: 4