Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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What is the point?

replies: 2

What is the point of being here, of existing? I don't know what to do anymore, I have been in therapy for over a year now and feel like I am going around in circles. I struggle to stay on track with anything for longer than a few weeks. You have to want to get better but how do you want it? Nothing matters and I feel like I'm just hanging around until I die. I haven't had anything bad happen to me to warrant feeling this way, it just is. I have no hope for anything, I can't keep my house or car clean, I don't eat regularly or well, I can't even look after my cats well. why can't i just do these things?

I feel so bad

replies: 5

I feel so disgusted and disappointed in myself. If it weren’t for my son I’d just want to put myself to sleep forever. I’m a single mum and I’m okay and like to think I do a good job 99% of the time. Yesterday I was triggered when I found out my son has been bullied. I drank too much, called my ex. But can’t recall conversation. I’ve apologised to my son but I can’t take anything back. I’m nearly 50 amd should have myself tigether but sometimes I just collapse and feel so utterly useless and disgusted in myself. I don’t know what to do

Boyfriend with anger issues

replies: 4

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year. Everything was perfect at the start but then all of a sudden about 6 months in he started getting major bursts of anger over tiny things and it was like nothing i'd ever seen before, he will start sweating and crying, screaming in my face at the top of his lungs to the point he'll lose his voice, saying the most horrible and hurtful things about me, wouldn't let me leave and threatened suicide if i tried to leave his house and won't calm down for hours. I eventually couldn't handle it anymore so I left him but he promised he'd get help so we eventually got back together. He'd still say some horrible things to me but he never got properly angry up until the last month, where he's started to have a few of these outbursts again. I know deep down it's not healthy and i am scared to be alone with him, but i just can't bring myself to leave because when he's not angry he's the kindest most perfect boyfriend i could ask for. He has history of these outbursts with his family as well. He's never purposefully gotten physical, just pushed me multiple times when i've tried to stop him from hurting himself during the outbursts. i'm just so lost with what to do.

I hate my life

replies: 1

Hi My name is Justin. I’m new here at beyondblue and I don’t know much about it but I’m hoping I can get some support because of what I’m going through. Let me explain: in 2017 I dropped out of high school year 10 because I had some anxiety, people would constantly sniffle and cough during classes, this type of sneaky bullying destroyed my developing mind. I was then stuck at home depressed and hopeless then my Aunt started sniffing so I told her to leave my house live in the garage, then she developed cancer but I still couldn’t live with her because of her sniffing. My Aunt died at the hospital , I was then kneeling at the hospital bed where my Aunt died then someone started coughing it was one of the nurses, so I shouted at her and threatened to kill her after just witnessing my Aunt die. After adjusting my life without my Aunt I felt depressed hopeless and stupid but my irritation to people coughing at me only returned with a vengeance. I stayed at home for 2 years in a row WITHOUT LEAVING my home. I felt like a damn BOO RADLEY. Then my next door neighbors started sneezing and coughing, so guess what I switched house. So I left my home first time in 2 years, the home movers workers also started coughing. I’ve been admitted to a mental hospital but got nothing out of it only more frustration and hopelessness .Now I’m a helpless unemployed loser taking medication and regularly visiting my psychologist; who also happens to cough but she says it’s her itchy throat which I reckon is bullshit. These days I am planing to go back to school so I can get a good job but I am going to have to face my fears which is by all the most horrifying thing I will ever have to face. If you are reading this maybe you to want to cough. God bless me...

I think my little sister is self-harming

replies: 5

She has these scars on her ankle that look very similar to self harm and I don't know what to do. I'm extremely worried about her as she was diagnosed with an ED earlier this year and had to stay in a psych ward for a week or so. I would approach her about it, but the thing is I haven't self harmed in about 8 months and I want to keep it that way - talking about it can be triggering for me. I don't know what to do because I'm her older sister and I feel like it's all my fault because I've suffered with depression, suicide attempts and self-harm ever since I was young.

Numb

replies: 2

Hi all, I feel so numb and exhausted from everything I’ve done to myself. I can’t explain it. I remember some things but I don’t remember how I got there and that still scares me. I’m coming up to one year since my last suicide attempt and one month since my last self harm. I know people tell me that I’m unwell when I lose control but how can I make sure that I’ll never lose control again? I’ve stuck to most of the agreements I made with the treating team in hospital since my last attempt and when I think of suicide I tell myself that’s not an option, but I have self harmed since and don’t remember much of it and that scares me. Will there ever be a time when I don’t have to be on the lookout, monitoring my moods and having a safety plan? Will there ever be a time when I don’t need a carer, treating team, interventions? What will happen when my carer dies? That’s a true fear of mine as I’ve lost too many people too young. I just don’t remember what happens to me when I’m unwell. How do people move on from this?

Struggling

replies: 12

Hi I don't really know where to start. I have always struggled with feelings or thoughts of how it would be better if I did commit suicide. But it always goes back to my sister I would hurt her. This past week I have been struggling I cannot get back for a special event due to border restrictions. I was seeing a guy who then just ghosted me. I turn 36 next month and all I want is to start a family. I feel like the hatred I have towards myself turns anyone away. I feel so sad but I can't express it and I feel trapped with these thoughts then getting louder. Distraction at night is not working resulting in me not having slept in days. Any advice or just people to tell me this will change is appreciated thanks

Can't win

replies: 2

I get depressed if I can't get a job then once I have a job it causes me so much anxiety that I can barely eat or sleep. It's like I will never be happy no matter what I do. I got told off the other day for forgetting about an upcoming holiday that I've had booked for months ( I just started a new job) in my defence I'm 5 months pregnant and forget ALOT! now it's all I can think about, that I've done something so wrong that nothing I do will make my boss happy. I hate living this life, I feel bad for bringing a child into this shitty world.

I just need to vent

replies: 3

I don’t really know what to do anymore and I just need to let it out. My mental health has been deteriorating lately to the point where I think about suicide everyday. I think I have BPD and ever since figuring that out I’ve basically just accepted that life will never be easy and I’ll probably end up alone. I just need to make it to Friday. It’s only 5 days and I booked an appointment with GP to ask to be prescribed anti depressants. I’m gonna try but making it to Friday seems impossible at this point

I am turing 30 soon

replies: 4

When I was a teen, I promised myself that I would get far far away from my family and end my life at 30. Many years later, I managed to leave my family in China. I thought I had been cured since then. Over here, I have a loving husband and an 8 months old daughter. I thought I would never want to give up my life again. Now I am turning 30 soon, I can't stop thinking about my old plan. This time, I choose not to tell my husband as I don't want to drag him into the endless hopelessness I feel all the time. I start to think what if I didn't have a husband or a daughter. Then I'd be free to do what I want to do. I've been thinking of divorce but fear that he'd be too heart broken to look after our little one. I have thought of seeing my GP for this but don't have the courage yet. My daughter cried this morning when I dropped her off at the daycare. I know she needs me. I just wish I was never born in this world so I don't have any of these problems. Why am I so weak?

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

What is the point? replies: 2

I feel so bad replies: 5

Boyfriend with anger issues replies: 4

I hate my life replies: 1

I think my little sister is self-harming replies: 5

Numb replies: 2

Struggling replies: 12

Can't win replies: 2

I just need to vent replies: 3

I am turing 30 soon replies: 4