robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

[britishtvfan]

hi everyone. i hope i posted this in the correct thread, i wasn't sure where to post it.

i'm tayla, i used to be mb20lover, but i thought it would be best to make a new account and start fresh. i'm 22 by the way. i couldn't think of a different username, so i thought this one would do.

i have missed everyone i have interacted with somehow, and i hope i can try to support others aswell as hopefully getting support for myself, and interacting with people i have in the past, and new people.

i hope everyone had a merry christmas and happy new year.

- tayla (used to be mb20lover).

[Matchy69]

Tayla I know you have tried so many things and what has your pychiatrist suggested?Has he given you options all a direction you can go in?Their is always options at there,it is just a matter of finding them and taking a risk with them.You might not need to pay to study or do a course as I found at with my daughter that the federal government has a scheme that paid for her study.You just need to look into it if you wanted to.

[britishtvfan]

i've looked into that too but everything seems to say i need to have finished year 12 which i didn't. even if i did stay i don't think i would've made it that far in terms of me not being smart enough. i have tried my psychiatrists suggestions too but they're pretty much the same as what you & summer suggested

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tayla

If year 12 is the stumbling block, perhaps it would pay to look at roles where that might not be so important.

I’m thinking of hospitality, a sector desperate for workers. So things like being a barista, waitress or shop assistant.

Horticulture is another sector desperate for workers. There are many types of roles on farms (eg picking fruit or veggies, planting, spraying (a certificate that doesn’t require year 12), grading produce and a lot you can learn from an entry level position.

I’m also wondering if you’ve ever considered a trade, for example painting or concreting? Not all trades require year 12.

I would also think about the services people need as a potential small business. Here I’m thinking about things like mowing lawns or dog walking.

Just ideas to help you get experience. Often work experience counts for tertiary education enrolment. So, running a small lawn mowing business can help to get you in to landscape design, for example.

Kind thoughts to you

[britishtvfan]

sigh. that girl who i mentioned earlier who i talked to on facebook about an actor i like, she blocked me just before & said don't contact her again, & on instagram she blocked me too (although i don't post & was going to delete my instagram account anyway). just because she's having a bad day. i told her politely that i felt avoided again & pushed away, that was all i said, & i was rather upset about it. i was not rude. in the past she hasn't been rude or mad about it. i understand she has a busy life & whatnot but why does she say she can talk if she can't? i told this to my friend who vaguely knows her & she said she would've felt pushed away, hurt & avoided too. what else is going to go wrong? i wish i was dead. it's my fault, i should've kept that to myself, but i should be able to express my feelings. i suppose i'll have to get my friend to contact her, since she's in my friends business' facebook group & likes her instagram posts. i don't have anyone else to talk to about this actor & shows i like. no one talks to me on facebook & tumblr. i joined tumblr to try & make friends, i just reblog things. but that doesn't work either. i hope she can forgive me. i have tried to be understanding with her & give her other chances but it hurts. she should be understanding of my abandonment issues & mental health. i don't understand why we couldn't have talked things out. sigh.

[Sophie_M]

Hey robthomaslover,

Thank you for sharing this update about what's been going on for you. It sounds like a really tricky time, so we're glad you could share with this caring and non-judgmental community. 

Just to bring us back onto the forum's topic of your mental health journey, we wondered if you'd like to share a bit more about what's been helpful to you? It was great to read that you like walking and live in a place with lots of nature and birdlife. It would be great if you could share a bit more about this, and whether that's one of your interests.

We know you're feeling really low, so please know that we're here for you, and you can always reach out to our counsellors online or on the phone for more immediate support. A few more options are Lifeline on 13 11 14, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

Thanks again for sharing here. We know it isn't easy to do so, but we're really grateful you could share an update with us. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[britishtvfan]

nothing has helped, i'm a lost cause. i ruin everything & every friendship i've ever had. that girl probably hates me & won't speak to me again. i suppose i understand. i just wanted her to see things from my POV. i shouldn't have said anything, i know. i regret it. i feel guilty enough. i'm not thinking straight. i just want to die, i really do.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Tayla,
Thanks for reaching out this afternoon,

We’re so sorry to hear how lost and hurt you feel, please know you’re not a lost cause. We understand it must really hurt to not receive a reply to the personal thoughts you shared with this girl. It sounds like this person might need some space for a period. We know it can be tricky to give another space when we feel there are issues left unresolved. Reach Out have some great articles around communication and conflict resolution that you might find helpful in navigating your situation:

• https://au.reachout.com/relationships/communication-skills
• https://au.reachout.com/articles/4-steps-for-coping-with-changing-friendships

We also want to let you know that we have sent a private email to check in with you and to offer some other support options.

We hope to hear from you there,
 

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I am sorry you are hurting so much from losing this friend.I know the pain so well and have gone through losing people I care about deeply and being but off from their lives.You are an amazing person even though you don't think that and you will make some great friends in the future.You are a very caring compassionate person that makes for a good friend.

[britishtvfan]

hi mark & sleepy.

i'm fine with replies. you could be right but i just miss her & i want to start fresh with her. i told this to my parents. they tell me i'm better off & i'm better than her but i'm still upset. part of the avoidant personality disorder is attachment & abandonment issues, & fear of rejection. also being too scared to get close to people, or getting too close then upset when they leave.

i'll try to give her some space to think things over but i do miss her.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tayla

I’m really sorry to hear about the challenges you are experiencing with your friend.

I can certainly see from what’s happened how avoidance personality disorder deeply affects your life and relationships. I’m really sorry for your struggles.

I know you didn’t ask for a personality disorder and it’s hard, but I want to encourage you to keep working with your therapist. The greater insight and strategies you gain, the easier life will become.

Never give up. You matter, Tayla. Hang in there.

Kind thoughts to you