Over it all all too much

[ktac1689]

I am in such a bad place right now, I know you are not a crisis service and not expecting crisis support. But I am done.

I was going to end my life last week. Stupidly told my therapist when she texted me that morning that I was going to do that. The day ended with me taken to hospital by police and undergoing assessment. I was scheduled but luckily managed to convince someone the next day that I was no longer feeling that way and was allowed to leave with follow up. I should have not have told my therapist what I was going to do. Then police etc would not have known and been chasing me.

I talked to lifeline last night and told them about recent events and plans I have. Thankfully not completely immanent or they would have called police too! But no more police, no more hospital and no more anything. I am tired of putting people through all this and just want to get it all over with. This has been dragging on for so so long and I am tired.

[Guest_1643]

hey Ktac - i don't know how to express myself except to say hi

and that i'm reading and that i relate to you and also consider you a very strong and valuable person

and i hope u feel better soon and

i'm proud of u for staying safe and for coming back on the forums

[Guest_4643]

Hello ktac1689, I'm sorry I'm now just seeing your thread. I'm really sorry to hear of what you wrote at the start of the thread. I hope you're ok.

[ktac1689]

Hi Croix,

Thank you for your reply. I am mainly living in Qld but have to keep the other place too as everything is still up in the air with work which is extremely frustrating and leaves me feeling unsettled and at a big loss.

I have heard of smiling mind but have not yet tried it, I will check it out. Yes I love to read and I love to listen to audio books while driving. I love the authors Dean Kootz and James Patterson.

My cats are in Qld with me and my sons and they have settled in well although my son’s cat was not too happy about them being there. I love hearing about Sumo, my cats are lazy too.

Hope you are well.

[ktac1689]

Hi Croix,

I will definitely have a look tonight at smiling minds and let you know what I think. I love ebooks too.
ktac

[ktac1689]

Hi sleepy,

Thank you so much for posting, I appreciate it a lot.
ktac

[ktac1689]

Thank you mb20lover,

I appreciate you posting, I am not ok but getting there.
ktac

[Guest_4643]

Hey ktac1689, I'm sorry to hear that.

Anything i can do?

[Croix]

Dear Ktac1689~

I popped in to find that things are not good for you at the moment, would you care to say what is the most troubling thing just now ?

I'm glad you use eBooks. My library has a good collection I can download.I

like James Patterson, particularly the Alex Cross series witch reminds me of Ed McBain. I also like Dean Koontz's Jane Hawk Series. You might like to try The Hunt for Jack Reacher Series - Diane Capri

As you can tell I like series, if one is good I know I have lot of enjoyment and distraction ahead.

Croix

[ktac1689]

Hi mb20lover,
Thank you for your reply, sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I haven’t felt like talking or writing much recently. I appreciate your support, a lot. Thank you 💕💕

ktac1689

[ktac1689]

Thank you for replying Croix and sorry it has taken me so long to respond.
You asked what the most troubling thing is at the moment. That would be employment uncertainty and the worry I am not ever going to be able to return. I worry so much that I won’t be able to support myself or my youngest son or help my other two. I do not want to be a burden to them. Ever.
I just finished listening to a Dean Koontz audiobook with Jane Hawk, it was awesome and I really enjoyed it.
Thank you again for your support, I hope you and Sumo are well.