Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Just a rant (TW)

replies: 2

My heart aches. The agony of emotions but the torment of not feeling a thing. I sometimes wonder if our consciousness is too advanced. Why are we tortured with the knowledge of our unimportance? I have attempted 6 times already and that's 6 times too many. Is there a point to trying to get better if I never really will? I have BPD and severe depression but I'm sure I have other disorders that are undiagnosed. Perhaps those who try to live are the deluded ones. On the other hand, perhaps this experience will only make me stronger. Emotions can hurt but they are a survival instinct so we can regulate ourselves and our morals. It is likely that our purpose is not one we could ever understand. Still, with a new month upon us, maybe it's worth a 7th attempt.

Help? Advice needed

replies: 3

Hello... I need some advice, I have posted to BB before but I needed to get some opinions/ advice on a certain work situation I am in. I am the only LGBT (lesbian) identifying individual at my work place (majority of workplace gender is female) and have fallen for another female co-worker. But she is in a long term relationship (since she was 20). We have developed a really good connection and are good friends, but we both share the same feelings and have met up a couple of times outside of work. I am so terrified and guilty, I have caused problems for her relationship and distracted her from mending things with her partner, I even met them both to keep the peace which was incredibly anxiety-inducing for myself but I thought it was the right thing to do. But now he won’t let her text me and monitors her every move which I completely understand because I feel like I am the catalyst. But she needed a good friend as we work in a rural location and we both don’t have many friends to talk to about this. I feel very overwhelmed, guilty but also angry for her. I don’t know if I just should have kept my feelings to myself? It’s all a bit complicated. We are not allowed to text at all from today and I feel pretty depressed. I think I am a bad person for potentially ruining their relationship (he cheated on her for 3 years but doesn’t make this right either) but all I wanted was to offer friendship at the start but our feelings grew stronger… working together has been difficult too with its ups and downs. I have tried to back off completely and give them space but she keeps returning to me and I also am so drawn to her as we connect really well we just seem to be going in circles but I feel like I may be in dangerous territory now… any advice and please be nice as it’s easier said than done when it comes to being in a situation like this… feelings are so complicated. I’m also terrified this is going to leak out at work and I will potentially be fired/ persecuted and judged or forced to quit. I just want us both to be happy I also suffer from depression and anxiety and it has been affecting my personal life. I can't seem to think about anything else. Another thing is we have a 15 year age gap and thought it was strange at the start but I don't think Love discriminates. The connection is definitely genuine but maybe not the reality we both can have?

Haven’t been feeling very well mentally

replies: 2

So I’m new to this and I’m not sure what to say but I have been trying to bottle up my depression/anxiety/issues with an eating disorder for about a year now and I’m just exhausted. I have no motivation to do hardly anything anymore and I just feel like everything is so pointless. My mental health problems have caused me to just be completely mentally and physically drained and i don’t know how to get back on track with life. I’ve been too depressed to work and I’m constantly paranoid/ sad in general. I’m not dealing with any suicidal thoughts but I worry that things will only get worse. I am about 1 year clean from self harm but lately I have considering it so that I feel some release from my constant feelings of worry/nothingness. Not sure if this makes sense but I just felt like venting a bit

Constant sadness

replies: 3

I feel useless. I feel like I've reached a dead-end in my life. I haven't worked since I had my first child about sixteen years ago. I've done volunteer roles, but they always feel small compared to what I could have contributed and achieved. I've tried various courses but feel like they never take me anywhere. I think I lose belief in myself and just give up. I've always struggled with depression and have used exercise in recent years to manage it. But now even the exercise isn't keeping it under control. I think about killing myself several times a week. I don't think I will, but that's how I feel. I don't feel like my kids need me, they are very independent. My husband often snaps at me. I know he's just getting older and is probably a grumpy old man, but it gets me down too. I can't speak to him about it as that makes him angry. He sincerely believes he's always right and I think he's too old to change now. I don't know how to feel useful again. I wish I had a life outside the house. I keep thinking of different choices I could have made in my life and where they would have led me. I feel like I could have gone somewhere better than where I've ended up. I think about running away, but I know I'd feel guilty about leaving my kids. I don't know what to try next?

Losing Hope...

replies: 7

I don’t really know where to start with this post but I’m spiraling down rapidly and really losing hope... I have a long history of treatment resistant depression, self harm and an eating disorder... spent about 5 years pretty much living in a mental health facility receiving treatment in forms of different medications, ECT, TMS, nasogastric feeding, CBT, DBT... but then I broke out of the hospital cycle, did a masters degree and have been working in an amazing job for almost 2 years... BUT I’m April last year my eating disorder relapsed... i have been receiving outpatient support with a psychologist and my GP as I have continued to work. My depression had been manageable... however over the last 3 months I have rapidly spiralled both with eating disorder and depression... my psychologist really wants me to have an admission but I have been refusing. Suicidal thoughts are getting intense again and my mood is terribly flat, lots of crying... I’m starting to think I need an admission for safety but I can’t afford to not work... and I’m not sure if I can get leave and concerned of work finding out... I’m at a loss and really losing hope... it feels like the only way out is to end it all...

When does it get easier

replies: 1

31 year old male. Been back and forth in life. From 18 i wanted to be a hero. Ive slept on park benches and now i have a company. Company is going down the drain, getting no where. Anxiety, depression you name it. Medication isnt even helping! Only god can help however i dont think he wants to. To anyone out there just try and be brave and try hanging on. Its taken me years to relize how bad my anixety and depression is. Peace out people. Much love to everyone suffering.

My story

replies: 11

Hi, I am here posting on this site because I'm not in a good place right now and I sort of feel like I should write my story down and maybe get a better headspace of where to go and what to do. I'm supposed to be meeting my brother to walk to the store later this evening and get some groceries for my first week back at work from having some time off. I'm sorta planning on taking that final step after I get home. Anyways, here's my story. I was born in a country called Zimbabwe and lived there till I was around 12. I never saw or experienced any, what I would call, traumatic events but I was just sort of used to living with burglar bars and parents having to sleep with guns near the bed. My relationship with my dad was good around this time, although he did use corporal punishment to discipline me. The worst was when he punished me when I broke a sliding-door window. We moved to Australia and I had to make new friends at school. The cool kids I wanted to be around weren't interested in doing work and I began to copy them. Dad was in a understandably stressful point in his life and my grades slipping ended up in a lot of hostility between us and in our home. Once during school holidays he got mad at me for changing the channel on the TV and abused me and said some hurtful things. Time passes, I move on but am still hurt about it. I meet a girl online, she lives in Norway and I start online dating with her. She has a hard family life. We used to talk on skype which dad would get angry about for keeping him awake (time zone difference). She was a self harmer and I sort of started doing it as well to express anger. Dad still doesn't know but I stopped several years ago. We were together for a year, I saved up enough from work to visit her. It was a very happy time. She cheated on me once I moved back because she needed the physical part of the relationship. I tried tinder and found a girl and started dating. She was a very bad influence, she got me into drugs, mostly marijuana but I tried harder stuff. I'm clean now. I just smoke cigarettes. She gave me a place to stay after dad man handled me again and I left home. Mom was very upset. The girlfriend moved to SA to live with her mom. I visited her even after she cheated on me. Her family let me still live with them. Her bro and I became really good friends. I found a new job closer to them. The brother's friends would come over every night.

Hate this.

replies: 86

Hey.. need advice. 28 (nearly 29) yo f. Been self harming, not eating, depressed for.. damn.. 18years now. Cant go to gp alone, boyfriend says "go ahead off self if that selfish" Cant hospital.. ambo/cop (will get family evicted.. already happened tw... View more

Don't tell me I'm not alone. Don't tell me there's help.

replies: 40

I'm tired of hearing these thoughtless and frankly false platitudes from people who have no basis on which to rest such assertions. I want to be dead. That's the ideal. Past-tense. I don't want to have to go through the stress and cost and drama of finding a viable exit. I just want to not wake up tomorrow. But I don't want to live out a natural life. That's for damn sure. I hate being told there's help. If actual, practical help exists then I've somehow managed not to find any in the last sixteen years. So either it's well-hidden or I'm just unworthy of it. I've found the opposite. People who were perfectly willing to kick me at my lowest and make things worse. People willing to exploit, abuse, cheat, beat and rob me. There's no shortage of that.

Abandoned

replies: 4

I got out of hospital last Monday after an attempt. I get told my psychologist, psychiatrist doesn’t want to see me anymore & My local private MH hospital want admit me anymore. Also my friend want have anything to do with me. I feel like I’ve lost e... View more

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Just a rant (TW) replies: 2

Help? Advice needed replies: 3

Haven’t been feeling very well mentally replies: 2

Constant sadness replies: 3

Losing Hope... replies: 7

When does it get easier replies: 1

My story replies: 11

Hate this. replies: 86

Don't tell me I'm not alone. Don't tell me there's help. replies: 40

Abandoned replies: 4