Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

DRAS On the road back
  • replies: 21

I have a long history of depression and anxiety and some PTSD, i have struggled with it since i was a teenager, i have been off and on medication over the years, all different ones, and for some years i managed with out any medication, but over the l... View more

I have a long history of depression and anxiety and some PTSD, i have struggled with it since i was a teenager, i have been off and on medication over the years, all different ones, and for some years i managed with out any medication, but over the last couple of months i have been spiraling down hill again, i had a loss of interest in everything i like doing before, i could not work out what i wanted to do, and then COVID hit and i was isolated for 3 months on my own, many times i thought about taking my life, as soon as i could i went to my parents place where my dad had been battling cancer for around 12 months, 3 days after i got there he died, mum seems to think he was just hanging in there till i could get there and see him one last time, he died at home with family around him, i watched my dad slip away, he looked peaceful, and more than anything i wanted to trade places with him, and the suicidal thoughts got stronger, i would wake up in the morning with really bad anxiety, by midday i was settled to a point and by night i would be in a deep depressed state.... i could not keep going like this, Yesterday i took my first steps to getting better, i went and seen a doctor, and have been put back on medication and have made a mental health plan and in one month i will be seeing a psychologist, today is just day 1 and i have taken my first tablet, i go back to the Dr's in one week to see how things are going.... i just wanted to share this with you all and i will try and keep you filled in on my progression in this post... for them that are in that dark place and don't know what to do, try what i have done and see your doctor, it can't hurt

mimicry stockpiled potential suicide material - is this concerning?
  • replies: 6

i told my psychiatrist and psychologist this and they are not worried, as I said that storing these items is a tangible representation of the control I do have in life, but I am scared that I will go through with it. i am scared

i told my psychiatrist and psychologist this and they are not worried, as I said that storing these items is a tangible representation of the control I do have in life, but I am scared that I will go through with it. i am scared

Keira2 Struggling at work
  • replies: 22

Hi, So this is what is going on: In late 2017 my colleague resigned. We had both worked together on a particular job, and when she resigned they didn't get a replacement for a year so I was doing the job that used to be done by 2 people on my own. I ... View more

Hi, So this is what is going on: In late 2017 my colleague resigned. We had both worked together on a particular job, and when she resigned they didn't get a replacement for a year so I was doing the job that used to be done by 2 people on my own. I went downhill very quickly under the workload, working crazy hours including some 16 hour shifts occasionally. I don't think people showed understanding that the job used to be done by 2 people and it seemed I couldn't do it well enough, the environment started to feel bad. Then when they finally did get someone in to help I had problems with her. I was still working really long hours, and it was really upsetting me to see her spending a really large portion of her day chatting and even taking 1.5 hour lunch break. I eventually began to show my annoyance and then things got even worse and everyone at work pretty much hates me. Things have been bad at work now for about 3 years. I am struggling very badly when I am at work with negative feelings. The feelings are so bad I think I need to end the pain and I am starting to plan that. The workload has decreased due to Coronavirus but I am struggling mentally and I can't get out of it. And before this so many things have gone wrong, it feels like everywhere I go people hate me and look down on me, I wouldn't even have the guts to reply to any ones posts as I would just think the person would think badly of me / what I say.

TerrifiedMumma Suicidal 17yr old son
  • replies: 3

My son has recently been diagnosed with extreme depression & extreme anxiety. I am doing everything I can to be there for him. He is a great kid, never been into any real trouble. Has an apprenticeship, a car & a loving family. We are seing a psychol... View more

My son has recently been diagnosed with extreme depression & extreme anxiety. I am doing everything I can to be there for him. He is a great kid, never been into any real trouble. Has an apprenticeship, a car & a loving family. We are seing a psychologist for the first time today. Doc has put him on an antidepressant. He says he has several plans to kill himself but is worried they wont work or will hurt. I do not know what these plans are. I cannot help but be absolutely terrified wondering if today is the day he decides to do it.

melishs No friends, no family, no support, how do i stop wanting to take that final step
  • replies: 4

I have no friends, no family, no support. I've been to a GP but they didn't seem to care, just said there's nothing can do medically, done all can. Been to a psych, they just seemed to go through the run of the mill stuff. None of them actually care.... View more

I have no friends, no family, no support. I've been to a GP but they didn't seem to care, just said there's nothing can do medically, done all can. Been to a psych, they just seemed to go through the run of the mill stuff. None of them actually care. I did self harm in March and was going ok for a while. Now i'm totally lost and hurting more than I ever have in my life. I've never had friends in my life - had acquaintances but not friends, my relatives (aka family) I haven't spoken to in over 8 years, they have no interest in my life (never really have). work, I've been isolated for over 5 months, literally no one to talk to, not even a hello. I was on leave for 10 days and not one person noticed I wasn't around. Its hard to not to take the final step to stop so much hurt.

BeaB Don’t think I can put in another day.
  • replies: 2

I don’t even know where to begin. Not one crisis line is picking up and I needed to talk to someone. Everything about me is bad, and broken and wrong. I have been told countless times by every ‘acquaintance’ I have ever had, that I am vile and worthl... View more

I don’t even know where to begin. Not one crisis line is picking up and I needed to talk to someone. Everything about me is bad, and broken and wrong. I have been told countless times by every ‘acquaintance’ I have ever had, that I am vile and worthless scum. That I am a pathological failure of a person and In addition, I have also been dumped and passed on by half a dozen psychiatrists. Every day of my life is a testament to how abhorrent and evil I am. I cannot do anything right and every day for me is a mess of confusion, desperation and pain. I want to end it very badly, but am simply scared. And for the last month or so, been flitting between acting or hiding from my thoughts. The mental health industry are at a loss for how to help me not being a bad person. What do I do? I think about becoming a nun, but I am not religious. How do I live my life doing positive things if I have no skills or talents?

Wrailith Hi - I need help
  • replies: 7

Hi, I decided to finally post here after trying to seek help but not being able to find anyone for a few months now. Hopefully now I will be able to find someone who can help. I am suicidal. I have social anxiety. I am depressed. I am very good at hi... View more

Hi, I decided to finally post here after trying to seek help but not being able to find anyone for a few months now. Hopefully now I will be able to find someone who can help. I am suicidal. I have social anxiety. I am depressed. I am very good at hiding my feelings. everyday I just hide my thoughts, smile when I have to speak when I have too. But none of it is real. This is how I have interacted with everyone in my life for almost a year now. It feels like telling anyone how I feel will be like saying I have lied to them. Now I am in a constant cycle where everything is getting worse and I can’t stop it. But I’m not really alone. I have the most amazing pony who means the world to me. She is truely the only part of my life stopping me from leaving. But there is only so much that she can do. I am at a point where I need help. so please help

...Gekota (Trigger warning) How do I talk to my parents about self harm urges?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I’m new to all of this forum and I’m not to sure what to expect but I thought if anyone can help it would be people who understand. I’ve been self harming for around a year or so I had been, after my parents found out along with some other compli... View more

Hi, I’m new to all of this forum and I’m not to sure what to expect but I thought if anyone can help it would be people who understand. I’ve been self harming for around a year or so I had been, after my parents found out along with some other complications concerning my mental health, they made me stop. I still have constant self harm urges most days and more then once. I don’t want to stop, I know that’s wrong, well I don’t but that’s what people tell me. I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m not able to talk to my parents about it or my therapist. Self harming helped me in some ways and I don’t know how to explain it but I don’t want to stop. I haven’t told my parents that I continue to feel as though I need to do more because I’m unsure how. I don’t know what to do, please help.

Obscure Self Imploding Manchild
  • replies: 17

I'm 43, no savings, no house, no friends, no ambition, no interest in living but i do have a crippling gambling addiction. I can't talk to my wife or anyone about my problems because they're not normal - things i'd be too scared to mention here. The ... View more

I'm 43, no savings, no house, no friends, no ambition, no interest in living but i do have a crippling gambling addiction. I can't talk to my wife or anyone about my problems because they're not normal - things i'd be too scared to mention here. The last time i spoke with a counselor she had to ask for another persons help less than one minute into the conversation and near the end, i was one "wrong" answer away from being locked up for the three day observation thing. I've read some of the posts here and no one has (or at least posted about) the same problems i have. I do want to feel better but truly believe i'd be put away if i was honest about what goes through my head. It's getting harder and harder to conform to what is deemed as "normal". I take pills for anxiety but in some ways i think i'm worse off for it. My gambling has been far worse since being on the pills. For the last four months or so I think about suicide daily. How to do it, where, when, what my note would say.

Zed0 A friend has been self-harming and suicidal.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Just today my friend said if she could speak to me in text on Instagram. I have a small group of friends, 5 girls, and two boys (one of the boys is me). She was sort of the quiet one, but she is pretty funny, she has a best friend in the grou... View more

Hi all, Just today my friend said if she could speak to me in text on Instagram. I have a small group of friends, 5 girls, and two boys (one of the boys is me). She was sort of the quiet one, but she is pretty funny, she has a best friend in the group, her name is Skye. They have been known to joke around a lot and be really happy, but the hurt one, Pheobe is depressed and told me about her self-harming. She always said, she wanted to kill herself and stuff, we always thought it was kind of a half-joke and she was just sad. I kind of ignored her because I personally find it kind of unfunny and annoying to joke about that stuff. And I regret that. She messaged me when we came back from school this: "I’ve been self harming again and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like everyday I get worse and worse and I just wish I had someone to talk to , i can’t tell my dad because he already has enough stuff going on in his life and I don’t want him to worry about me, i don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been clean until like a month ago, i wish I was genuinely happy man." I'm not to sure what to say to her, I said I'm all ears and tried to tell her that I would listen, we chatted for about 10 minutes and she said she said she wanted to talk at school. I'm pretty socially awkward and don't really give eye-contact when I talk to people. I just don't know what to say to her. I honestly haven't talked to her without joking once, and things will just be really awkward. Please help!