Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

All discussions

Jules292 *Trigger warning: Self-harm* Feeling Overwhelmed
  • replies: 3

I want to self harm at the moment so very much, the urge is so very strong and started about 2-3 weeks ago. It’s strange how I felt so in control, almost ’cured’ of this, and then, there are times out of the blue, perhaps, mixed with other vulnerabil... View more

I want to self harm at the moment so very much, the urge is so very strong and started about 2-3 weeks ago. It’s strange how I felt so in control, almost ’cured’ of this, and then, there are times out of the blue, perhaps, mixed with other vulnerabilities that weakened my defenses, and I find myself here again. I’m hoping that by writing it down may help to bring on a switch in negative behaviours. thanks for allowing me to be honest! Jules xx

ReachOut83 Realisation
  • replies: 2

This evening I had to get out of the house, and go for a coffee, or anything. So I went into this bar that was quite busy. I am not a big drinker, so I ordered a Coke Zero and sat at my table alone. I tried to join in on a conversation at the table n... View more

This evening I had to get out of the house, and go for a coffee, or anything. So I went into this bar that was quite busy. I am not a big drinker, so I ordered a Coke Zero and sat at my table alone. I tried to join in on a conversation at the table next to me, but they didn’t seem to be interested. I even offered to pay for someone’s drink, but they didn’t seem interested. I realise now that I have no place in this world. My whole entire life all that I have wanted to do is to fit in and belong. Now I know that it is no longer possible, maybe it is for the best to write a letter to my mum, and put an end to my loneliness.

Lucette hey, just want someone to talk to :)
  • replies: 4

ive been self-harming recently, not dramatically or anything. like I know people are so much worse of than me, but like I don't have anyone to talk to. i moved to a new town and everyone is racist and homophobic and sexist, and the people I'm around ... View more

ive been self-harming recently, not dramatically or anything. like I know people are so much worse of than me, but like I don't have anyone to talk to. i moved to a new town and everyone is racist and homophobic and sexist, and the people I'm around make it obvious that they hate me. I'm just tired and lonely, like everything just takes so much effort and when I fight with my parents SH kinda makes me feel in control. they noticed once but kinda just told me not to do it. i did finally get a therapist appointment which is good I guess. i just miss my old friends who understood and I cant talk to them bc my parents took my phone. anyway thanks love ya

Taylor94 Feels like im drowning
  • replies: 2

Today is hard, i am roughly 6 months pregnant and unemployed, my partner and i have been struggling for months to find jobs and have made the tough decision to move from Forster back to Sydney area. though we have more support and family down here it... View more

Today is hard, i am roughly 6 months pregnant and unemployed, my partner and i have been struggling for months to find jobs and have made the tough decision to move from Forster back to Sydney area. though we have more support and family down here its was not our first choice in options but we both realised that it is what is best for our children. Since getting pregnant i have struggled with many problems and issues from family drama from both sides to my step daughters birth mother drama. i feel like im barely hanging on these days and the urge to self harm or worse is getting stronger everyday. My partner and i have been struggling financially, as he is in alot of debt, and my insomnia has kicked back in to where i am barely sleeping most nights. The mental and physical strain is literally making me feel like im drowning and that i am inches away from breaking down completely. I dont know how much more i can take of this and no matter how many times i say this to my partner i dont think he is quiet understanding what i mean, which just makes me feel more alone than i want to be right now. I dont know what else to do, other than revert back to old habits which i am trying so hard not to give in to for the sake of my baby.

anonymous45844 help
  • replies: 3

I'm thinking about suicide and I don't know what to do to distract myself

I'm thinking about suicide and I don't know what to do to distract myself

Tillie Crushed
  • replies: 4

When you want to die but the only thing keeping you alive is your kid

When you want to die but the only thing keeping you alive is your kid

Midnightvixen86 Too broken to be fixed
  • replies: 3

I'm at the edge and I'm looking down struggling to find a reason not to just let go. I know my thoughts are irrational I know that it's not what it seems. But why can't I stop inching closer to the edge. I side my head is chaos screaming voices over ... View more

I'm at the edge and I'm looking down struggling to find a reason not to just let go. I know my thoughts are irrational I know that it's not what it seems. But why can't I stop inching closer to the edge. I side my head is chaos screaming voices over the top of one other and I just want them to stop. I have reached out for help but it doesn't seem to be working or I'm not being heard . I just really need some one to hear me right now see through my mask my smile and see me. Is this asking too much? Am I just to broken to be whole again?

Andrew-L What's wrong with me?
  • replies: 2

For as long as I can remember I have been quiet, I'm now 23 (turning 24 this year), have no friends, never been in a relationship or even kissed a girl. I have finished uni and struggling to find work, mostly because every time there is a question th... View more

For as long as I can remember I have been quiet, I'm now 23 (turning 24 this year), have no friends, never been in a relationship or even kissed a girl. I have finished uni and struggling to find work, mostly because every time there is a question that asks for 'skills' I write in 'idiot' before promptly deleting it and replacing it with meaningless things like 'cash handling' or 'customer service'; not much to do with the graduate position i'm applying for but I have too much self doubt to write anything else, or rather I think I do (I may also just not have anything else). Recently I started a new casual job and went to the pub with some co-workers (I only went because the workplace was shouting the dinner); normally I would just stay at home ( I did a few times). Like with my previous job they seamed fine to talk to women they met there and a few took them home, I don't know if its just me, but I feel as though its morally wrong to talk to women in public like that, that been said, I also feel like a pervert and sexual if ever I am attracted to any woman. Given the character limit here are a few other things I do as dot points: Talk shit to myself in the mirror ever day (how much I hate myself). I have no real friends, we have all gone our separate ways, the one person I kind of talk to trys to avoid me, but I cling on just so I am not alone. I am really annoying to talk to, I keep making dad jokes and it really drives people away after a while (as in literally all I say are dad jokes, I cant make conversation). I spend my whole day playing single player PC games. I can only talk to people if I have a few drinks in me, if I have a (1) 'friend' I know well and no one else around I can normally talk to them. While I was at uni I had no friends there, I literally just went to class and straight back home. I really cant handle social situations and often hide in the toilet. At every stage in my life I though to myself, now it will be different, I will make some friends or get in a relationship, here at highschool/moving out/uni/first job/second job ect. I studied a spud arts course that I know wont get me a job. I'm not very attractive and people often find my voice irritating. I would never harm myself, but I wish I was dead. +more All in all my dream is to one day own a home and have a family, but I really don't see those as actually possible anymore the way I am. I was hoping that someone would know how to fix this or at least where to start.

Stax Same old feelings
  • replies: 2

Hi All, Im a newbie here and thought that this maybe a good outlet. Lately i've been struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm. Like right now i want to have some physical pain instead of numbness, hopelessness, being unfulfilled and all the oth... View more

Hi All, Im a newbie here and thought that this maybe a good outlet. Lately i've been struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm. Like right now i want to have some physical pain instead of numbness, hopelessness, being unfulfilled and all the other negative feelings. Having some physical pain i know how to heal it or stop it from hurting, these other feelings i have no idea how to do it. However, i will not do it, because 1. i don't want to clean the mess when i come too. 2. I can't afford to pay for damages on the property. The upside of lazy i guess. I have seen a couple of psychologist and feel that the help they try and provide does not work from me - they have diagnosed me with a few mental illnesses (which is helpful). Also, been feeling to damaged too help. The struggle is to find the best one to work with, within a budget and timeframe. Also monthly visits calls builds up my anxiety and then too have it cancelled or postpone just makes me feel even more damaged more rejected. Asking for help makes me vulnerable and I vowed never to be in that position and then that happens... Frustration, anger and too damaged flooded in. Today was one of those days. So for now its the same old life, same old feelings. Thanks for the rant.

pleasehelpme1111 im desperate: i want to kill myself but i don't think anyone is treating it as an immediate reality
  • replies: 4

Yesterday I told my dad that I was suicidal, and having thoughts of suicide. I have been dealing with this since year 9 (in year 12 now) and it recently escalated (past two weeks) to the point that it was no longer passive, but I recently made a plan... View more

Yesterday I told my dad that I was suicidal, and having thoughts of suicide. I have been dealing with this since year 9 (in year 12 now) and it recently escalated (past two weeks) to the point that it was no longer passive, but I recently made a plan. He called the mental health triage people (we're in SA) and they sent out some people to evaluate me two hours later. The two that came (a social worker and a nurse) were pretty dismissive, and made it seem that because I was able to clearly express myself and I wasn't confused or something, and because I was purposefully not sleeping enough (to punish myself, might I add) I was less of a risk to myself, and that all I needed to do was sleep more and stay nourished. Which is bs (but they will be evaluating me properly by Monday with psychiatrists and stuff). Now I'm regretting telling anyone, because I'm not allowed to be home alone by myself, and my phone is taken before I go to bed. Along with my computer. I regret telling my parents because I suspect the most that will happen is that I will get a psychiatrist. But I don't want to exist in the immediate future. There's no way I'm going to a psychiatric hospital, even though I suspect its the only thing that will stop me from killing myself. My parents (my mum especially, my dad went to his rural job - locum, he's a general practitioner today) don't really seem to genuinely think that I'm this close | | to killing myself. I don't want to make an attempt just to get them to listen. Does anyone have any advice? Please help me. Thanks