Need help to cope with someone with suicidal thoughts

[Bright Smile]

Hello everyone,

This is my first thread, I am 18 years and I heard from a friend that beyond blue can help assist me any distressing situation, so I ask for help. A year ago, my sister was diagnosed with severe anxiety from bullying in her primary school years, she is 15. We just moved her to a new school where is now has a good friendship group and has expressed to our family that she is happy. However, just recently, my sister tried to take her own life in the middle of the night. I was sleeping until I heard the ambulance with my parents assisting my sister, gladly she is still alive today. When my parents left the house I wondered around to find my parents were finding any sharp objects and chemicals and storing them away. What really disturbed me that night was when I entered my sisters room to find a black painted smiley face on her mirror, at first I didn't know what it was but from my mothers email (I have secret access, I know I shouldn't) I found that it was a suicide note. After she came back, it was really hard to get things back to normal, I was even afraid of looking at my own sister.

Now, ever since that night, I have had this constant fear that one day my sister will succeed in her attempt. Every time I hear my sister come out of her room, I remain awake in case I hear anything abnormal or might come to the rescue, every time she heads to the bathroom or hear footsteps in her room. The truth is I don't know what to do or what to say. I have autism and comprehending that my sister was having these thoughts put my life in a mess and living in fear that I may lose my sister.

As I said, the truth is I don't know what to do and would really like advice on how to cope.

Thank you for listening.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Bright Smile,

Welcome to our forums. We are so glad you have joined us here today and shared your experience. We are so sorry to hear about your sister facing severe anxiety and her attempt to take her own life. While it's great that she's at a different school where she's not experiencing bullying, she is still struggling internally. This sounds like an incredibly difficult situation and we can understand how hard this is for you. We can hear that you have been feeling very anxious and worried about her safety and that you are not sure of what you can do here. You have taken the first brave step of reaching out here. You can be assured that you are in a safe, non-judgmental place where you can talk about what you are experiencing. We hope you will find the support you need from our wonderful community members, some of whom can relate to what you are going through.

We'd strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. They can help support you through this tough time and offer some advice on what steps to take next in terms of coping with this situation.

You're also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our counsellors can offer some advice and referrals for support services in your area. 

Please keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. We are here for you.
 

[therising]

Hi Bright Smile

I feel so much for you as you face this upsetting and quite shocking challenge in your life. I see Sophie has given you her great support and guidance during this time when it comes to ways for you to manage.

I believe, it's always important to manage our challenges. The first important part of a plan is knowing when we can manage alone and when we need help in managing. I'm so glad you came here as part of your plan. There are a lot of incredibly supportive people here. You shouldn't have to face this on your own.

I'm wondering whether your sister needs an 'anchor person' in her life, someone who she feels she has to stay in this world for. During my years in depression, this person was my nephew, until I had my own children. These are the people who kept me here in this world, trying to find the difference, my way out of depression. These are the people I worked hard for, even when I was at my lowest point. At my worst, I would think of them.

Maybe you are your sister's anchor person and you both don't know it. If your sister has made some positive differences to you in your life, have you ever told her she has? Maybe you could tell her how powerful she is in this way. Perhaps her knowing this could give her a sense of value and purpose. The differences she's made to you don't have to be big, they can be a lot of small differences like just being there to listen to you when you've had problems, giving you a smile here and there when you really needed a smile, giving you a bit more confidence when you didn't have the confidence you needed and the list goes on. Maybe you could make a list and consider giving it to her. Don't be surprised if she cries, if you decide to give her this list. It's often an emotional experience when we realise how amazing we are in someone else's life. Remember, it is not your job to make all the difference to your sister. This is something your parents need to manage.

It's important that if you feel you can't manage without your parents' help in this challenge, you need to speak to them. As a mum, I always encourage my kids to speak with me about what they feel they can't manage alone. I am their guide, supporter and teacher in their life. My role is to guide, support them and teach them things they may not have an understanding of. We all need someone like that in our life.

Again, I'm glad you came here. It shows incredible maturity and your strong desire to make a positive difference.

🙂