New member who needs help helping a partner

[Lazy_Mario]

Hi everyone!
I have joined this forum to ask for help with my suicidal boyfriend.
Me and my boyfriend have been having issues for months now and I have just today called it quits and broke up with him. He has been suicidal our entire relationship (2 years) and years before we met too. He is a 3 hour drive away from me at the moment, so I don't know what he has near him in terms of self harm tools or anything else which may be harmfull. I am just lost and don't know what to do. Nothing I say seems to get through to him, because he thinks I hate him and am just saying these things so that I don't have a guilty conscience. I love him and always will, my decision to break up never had anything to do with that, but with both of our toxic behavior affecting the other.

I guess I am just here as a last resort, I dont know what I can do to stop him from going over the edge, especially being so far away from him and not being able to do anything to make sure his surroundings are safe for him.

Thankyou in advance for any advice 💖

[Sophie_M]

Dear Lazy Mario,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get anxiety provoking and triggering especially because you are far away. We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you and can see how overwhelmed you are feeling this morning. We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
 

[Croix]

Dear Lazy_Mario~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here to the forum. As usual she has given excellent referrals.

Look, you cannot alter his actions, you can only alter your own. And due to feelings of care and duty there is an overwhelming urge to return into the situation you were in before. One so bad you had to leave.

The truth of the matter is that no one person can keep another live if they wish to die. It takes peple round then a bit, a medical team a lot, and a bit from the person themselves.

During the 2 years you were together was your partner under medical care? The same goes for the period before you met him. May I ask that was something you encouraged him to do? If so did he refuse or not comply?

If he does have medical supervision, there is nothing to stop you giving them a ring and advising them of the situation.

Apart from yourself, now no longer there, is there anyone else you can talk to about his situation, does he have parents, a brother or sister, or friends you can tell your fears.

If he contacts you and threatens to kill himself I guess the best thing you can do is ring 000.

At the moment you are in a most stressful and worrying situation, and therefore need support yourself. Is there anyone you can talk to who listens and cares? Being in this circunmstance by yourself is so hard.

I too would say ringing the Suicide Call Back Service (even with a bit of a wait on the line) is an excellent piece of advice.

Please let us know how you get on

Croix